Vous consultez actuellement le blog de The_Movie_Chair. MyFitnessPal est un Compteur de calories et un programme d'alimentation 100 % gratuit.

My weigh loss contract!

My weight loss journey so far is like a roller coaster ride, just blindfolded and without a seat belt. I never know what's going to happen next. It throws me from left to right, and all I can do is trying to hang on. Let's face it it's not an easy journey; it's harder than I thought it would be!

I am serious about being here. I am determined, but then at times, I hear a voice in my head telling me that it would be alright to overeat. The voice is tricky, it's not there all the time, it seems to come out of nowhere when I at least expect it. Mostly in the evenings.

I  know it's not going to shut up anytime soon. I read about a weight loss contract.  How silly is that? But somehow the thought got stuck in my mind and I started typing. I hesitated to print it. A weight loss contract with myself, signed by me, even if I am the only one knowing about it, it's still serious enough to bother me.

I try to keep promises and it's hunting me if I can't, so breaking my own contract would bother me -as silly as it might sound. It's my fight against obesity, so I suppose I can set the rules.

I started typing; I printed it and now it's on my desk!

Weight Loss Contract with Myself
 
I hereby commit to a healthier lifestyle, and I commit to losing 100 pounds. This may be one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced, but I also acknowledge it will be one of the most effective things I can do for myself and my health.
 
I will sign this contract and will make the commitment to myself to stick to my plan. I will succeed. I am strong and I can achieve my goal.
 
I started my health and weight loss journey on January 10th, 2017
 
My main reasons are:

1. I want to lose weight
2. I want to be healthier
3. I want to feel good about myself

I will reward myself when I lose weight:

10 pounds- my reward will be an Orchid.
20 pounds - my reward will be the garden statue I saw on amazon
30 pounds -my reward will be crazy tennis shoes 
40 pounds - my reward will be a terracotta pot for the herbs 
50 pounds- my reward will be the Kindl paperweight
60 pounds - my reward will be the peacock lamp I admire

70 pounds - my reward will be the Freddy Mercury Collection
80 pounds - my reward will be shopping in a normal store
90 pounds - my reward will be a new hairstyle with fun highlights
100 pounds - my reward a special weekend with my husband

The contract is with myself, I will sign it and I will print it and look at it during temptations. I will read it and remind myself that I don’t want to be obese anymore.

Signature (Me)

 

Hallelujah, it's official...I have lost all my marbles.

Cirque du soleil Toenail painting

I looked at my toes today in the morning and noticed it was time. I cannot do it; I need help; I need to pay to get my toenails painted.

I am too big, my belly is in the way, my arms are not long enough. By now I am used to it. I am not the only woman who gets a pedicure, but I am often the only one who needs it because she can't help herself.

I am off today, I finally gave in and decided to take the rest of my vacation days before I lose them.

It was just me and my toes and the desperate wish to be able to do it. I am 7 pounds lighter now; I have still over 100 lbs to lose -still- I felt cocky and very confident.

I chose the nail polish, grabbed the scissors and all the other utensils and marched into my living room.

I had a plan. I would sit on a chair, and I would put my foot up on the ottoman, this way I wouldn't have to bend down too much. Easy, breezy lemon squeezy!

At least theoretically!

What followed was just another lesson in humiliation. Cuttings my toenails and painting them was torture.

It reminded me at the circus act at Cirque du Soleil. I felt like I was forced to bend beyond my capability -and even further.

Obesity -I can't even begin to explain how much I hate this word. It's me; I am obese. Everyday tasks have gotten more complicated and somehow, instead of "facing the music" I looked for an easy way out.

I didn't give up today; I didn't give in. I got the job done. Painted from every angle, I could think of. How embarrassing it is, if you have to paint your toes on the side of your body, while your foot is sticking out at an unhealthy angle. How pathetic to sit there for a whole hour trying to reach your feet.

Running away from my problem would have been so easy. Just grab the car keys and drive to the nail place. I didn't want to. I closed my eyes and ran away for too long.

I got it done. My fat, little beautiful toes shine in the new burgundy color I wanted to try.  

There will be more pathetic moments in the future, and there will be more embarrassing moments. I have to deal with it. I am a big girl (literally), I can handle it.

I am writing this for my MFP blog because one day I will look back and I will be grateful for all the moments that made me stick to my goal. 

God am I tired of being so big. 

The empty chair beside me

The seat beside me was empty. Nobody wanted to sit there and the realization that I am now one of the very big people hurt.

Girl’s night out. The ladies are my friends, we like each other and we meet once a month. This was the first time we went to the movies together. ‘Let’s spread out,’ one said when she realized she would have been the one sitting beside me. She climbed up a row and sat behind me instead. I don’t blame her. I don’t think I ever noticed how big I am until yesterday in the movie theater. Nobody would be comfortable beside me, I need so much space.

I had been looking forward to the film but didn’t enjoy it at all. I couldn’t concentrate. I thought about the empty seat and what it stands for. I am big! I am obese! Some even might call me fat.
The seats in the movie theater are bigger now than they have been years ago; still, I hardly fit in. My arms have to be on the armrest, there is no space left. ‘I wouldn’t want to sit beside myself either,’ I thought and I felt such a mix of emotions. I felt like crying, I felt hurt, I felt disgust and anger toward my lifestyle and my bad eating habits.

I came home furious with myself. I don’t exercise. I hardly walk, I drive everywhere. I can't walk far and I need to sit down all the time. My husband went to bed and I stayed up. I sat there in the dark and thought about my life. I am at a crossroad now. Either I continue doing what I am doing, and I am willing to deal with all the health consequences it will bring, or I start to change things.

I felt sorry for myself for a while, there were some tears and then I got angry.

In the middle of the night, I started to clean out the pantry and the freezer. Made room in the fridge, threw things out left and right.

I don’t know when I signed up here first. I think it was 3 years ago. Sometimes I come here and check out the success stories, or look up meals, but I never come back the next day. Today I came back, changed my name to The_Movie_Chair because I never want to forget how I felt yesterday.

The empty seat in the movie theater will be my motivation. I am not sure how to ask for support and friends but I hope it will find me. Nothing is fun alone.

                                                           --------------

 

This was my first post here at MFP. One day I will read it and I will be grateful for that night.

 

À propos de moi
4fd37dc6f94179250f2a25a2792307338997_thumb
Outils
Archives
À propos de MyFitnessPal
Rejoignez MyFitnessPal dès aujourd'hui. et perdez du poids de façon saine. Disposez de votre propre blog de régime et de votre compteur de calories 100 % gratuits. Rangez votre carte de crédit car vous ne débourserez pas un centime. »

rejoignez-nous gratuitement