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Hold your horses!

Someone left a comment on my blog, stating that all fat people are unhappy and it made me frown a bit. If all fat people are unhappy, does that mean all skinny people are happy? I don't think so. 

I was a happy fat woman, still am, both, fat and happy. I have imperfect perfect children, a wonderful husband who knows how to push my buttons, dogs who obey when they feel like it and a job and friends that can drive me insane. 

I like the woman I am becoming. That's the one thing I love about aging, all of a sudden you start to see the big picture. If you meet me, you won't be able to tell how much my weight is bothering me. Of course, you will notice my weight but, if you are able to look deeper, and if you are able to look with your heart, you might like me or even find me interesting.

I have a great life. I have a good sense of humor and can laugh so hard I will make you cry. I even kept some common sense, when the world around me seemed to have lost it. No, I am not unhappy....still, I overate and gained weight and then some. Why?

I might never have all the answers; I can only guess. I became a wife, a mom, an employee, a boss, a friend, a volunteer, a neighbor and so many other things. I split myself in half to fulfill everybody's needs and pushed my own needs aside. Nobody asked me to do that. I did that because I thought I had to.  I am a woman and like most of us, I was raised to be superwoman.

Listening and caring for others can be exhausting, to the point that I didn't want to talk about myself anymore. From that moment on I used food as a shield. I could hide behind it, take a break and forget the world. For the short amount of time it took me to eat a dozen of donuts, or two Chinese lunches, I didn't have to worry about anything else around me. I ate mindlessly and used food like others use religion, it was my go-to place in every aspect of my life.

Of course, my weight frustrated me; it took my breath away -literally. I felt sad when I couldn't get up from the floor without holding onto something, and I hated the tunics and tents that I wore, which made me look even bigger. I cried invisible tears when I saw my reflection in the mirror. Short and sweet, I hated the way the weight made me feel and look.

But just like rain or an occasional thunderstorm, these feelings of darkness never lingered for too long. The dark clouds disappeared and I felt happy again. 

Being unhappy with my weight doesn't mean I am unhappy as a person. I felt frustrated, guilty, and hopeless -but only about my weight. Me, as a person? I am unstoppable, full of plans and dreams and mostly in a good mood.

I look forward to the future and I am certain I will find something else to hate about the way I look.  Perhaps in a year or so I will complain about sagging skin and about "the girls," who by then, might dangle around my knees.

Weight loss will make me healthier, prettier, more attractive, perhaps even sexy...but it won't make me happier.  That's not possible!

Thanksgiving went well and today I couldn't wait any longer and I just had to step on the scale. Victoria II gave me thumbs up. Nothing gained - nothing lost. Hold your horses I am maintaining.

75 lbs lost - Only 65 more to go

Bring it on Holiday Season, bring it on!

207 votes + -

40 commentaires:

Rincewind_1965 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Uplifting!

Having no other chance than to "see" you through brain and heart I can assure you that I like what I "see".

Enjoy this Holiday-break.
We will see you continuing your journey in January.
If not, I will be there to seriously kick some butt.

Merry Christmas
aliciaaw a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I enjoy reading your blog, you have a way with how you word thing.
Gardengal1222 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I am glad you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Thanks for another uplifting blog....I look forward to them so much. Each month I think to myself come on Bridget time for another blog!
bmeadows380 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I'm unhappy, yes, and have fought depression for years. But its certainly not solely due to my being morbidly obese. There are many, many facets to my struggles, and its rather overly simplistic to think that just losing weight is going to solve all my problems - I know better than that!
Laurie6578 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
You are doing a phenomenal job taking control of your weight. You enjoy the holidays. Sometimes taking a season to maintain and take a short break can reset your body and regenerate your drive when you start again. I still haven't figured out why I gained all my weight but I know when I was at my heaviest I was still a competent and fairly happy person. I think that's why it infuriates me when I feel like people treat me differently now. I don't completely understand that mentality but it's out there.
teepuppylove a écrit il y a 11 mois:
This is an awesome response to that comment. Why would fat = unhappy or thin = happy? It makes me sad for whoever left that comment!

Keep going- you are amazing! :)
becky10rp a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I'm a recovering anorexic. I've been painfully thin. I was miserable when I was at my all time low weight. I avoided people and eating situations. I'm trying to find that happy medium where I can eat a meal and not feel guilt. Thin does not always equal happy - just not true.
pizzafruit a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Insightful and a fantastic post! If my weight were the only reason for unhappiness, like others I wouldn't be here to respond. The assumption that overweight equates to unhappy is as silly as saying one drink equates to alcoholism. It's an unfair generalization - give 'em what for!
HappyathomeMN a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Here's the deal: I was unhappy thin and unhappy gaining weight BUT it was because I was unhappy with myself. I sought external inputs as sole sources of pleasure, affirmation, praise, and anything that might resemble a positive input. Now, I've learned (and am still learning) that the positive comes from me and I am in control of that, no one else. I'm still fat and learning more about happy. Guess what? I like it and I'll still like it xxx pounds from now.
xtrasmallone a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Any comment that starts with and absolute like "All people" should, in my opinion, be completely ignored. The individual saying that kind of thing is either ignorant, overgeneralizing or trying to get a rise out of you.

Of course all fat people are not unhappy. That is a stupid thing to say. Ignore it and go on. The people who need to hear that this comment is wrong are not the people reading this, although one can hope some are because your comments are so true.

I'm fat. I am unhappy sometimes that I am fat, but that doesn't mean I'm completely unhappy with me in all aspects or with other things in my life. In some ways, gaining weight was very freeing for me. When I was young I was obsessed with not gaining weight. Thought it would be the worst thing ever. Guess what? It's not. I'm fat, but I'm still warm, friendly, funny, a loving and caring spouse and parent. I still have friends, can sing and do all kinds of creative things I'm proud of. Weight is just one thing about me. And not even the most important thing.

Love and hugs to all of you here.
musicsax a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Well done on your have decision to step onto Victoria and your successful maintanence, you are doing so well during a very challenging time.
mysteps2beauty a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Great point of view!
Happiness is often a choice.
Tucson_Traveler a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Happiness is a choice that comes from within. Thank you for the inspiring post. Keep up the great work you're doing for you.
CajunTess a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I love you and your blog! I can really relate to this, because I was born to be superwoman, too. I put everyone else's needs and wants above my own, and cheated myself for too many years. But now, WE ARE TAKING THEM BACK!!! More power to us!!
SiegfriedXXL a écrit il y a 11 mois:
This is spot on as always. Happiness is not created by external means. Ties into the saying that money can't buy everything. I am losing weight so I live a long life for myself and my family and my husband. Yes, I want to be more handsome, more fit, and move around easier, but most importantly, I want to be healthy. Happiness itself will come and go despite all of that.
bridgetevers2 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Interesting perspective from that movie chair! Continuing to be on the fat and sassy side, I have struggled my entire life with obesity. I'm finally putting myself first and have a great partner that will support my journey to better health....including working with a trainer and logging in myfitnesspal!!
My goal is I want to get to a point where I feel good wearing jeans with a fitted shirt! :)

I'll take anyone on who calls me unhappy just cuz I'm fluffy!! :)

Keep the faith, the power and control. Live strong!
GoodnightJulia a écrit il y a 11 mois:
"Listening and caring for others can be exhausting, to the point that I didn't want to talk about myself anymore. From that moment on I used food as a shield. I could hide behind it, take a break and forget the world."

--This struck a chord with me. I used to eat pretty unhealthily - candy and pizza and whatever and not really care. Then I fell in love with fitness and cleaned up my diet, and now life's slapped me in the face with a million obligations to everyone and no time-outs, no outlets from stress. And now, even as I eat the healthiest of food I can easily binge a day's worth of food in an effort to hide from all those demands for a little while. I'm trying to work on that by reducing the sources of all that stress and the unreasonable demands I (and sometimes others) place on myself, and also by developing better coping mechanisms.

Honestly, I would love to go for a run whenever I feel the need to hide for a while ... but people for some reason view that as more "selfish," whereas eating is defensible as something everyone needs to do. Why is that a thing?

I lurk on your blog often. I love your clarity and your honesty and your insights. You're a beautiful person and you're rocking this journey.
missKmorgan a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Love this! I am unhappy with my weight but certainly NOT unhappy with my life. Sounds like the person who posted the comment about overweight people being unhappy was not a very happy person?

Please keep blogging - I love reading your posts. :)
class_less a écrit il y a 11 mois:
This was just what I needed to hear.
I spend so much time trapped inside my own head that I tend to lose sight of what I'm doing and where I'm headed.
Reading what you wrote, what others wrote, has cleared my head a little.
Thank you :)
You are an amazing person; I love finding out how many amazingly beautiful people are all around me.
It's empowering!
You go, girl!
Sunna_W a écrit il y a 11 mois:
When we give ourselves to other people and then reclaim those bits, those halves do seem to add up, don't they? I am much happier emotionally when I am heavier. I hate waking up hungry and being ravenous when my lunch has been digested and dinner is hours away. Hang in there!
debbie7373 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Thank you so much for writing this. I can relate to every aspect of your blog. I've lost myself somewhere along the way of caring for my mother who lives with us and is on dementia medication as well as having fibromyalgia & diabetes ... a husband who is very demanding and had a heart attack last year... a son that's fixing to get paroled to our house for the 3rd time and our youngest son that gets to have visits with his 2 yr old daughter and 1 yr old daughter if supervised by me. They all have a way of making me feel guilty if I have anything to do when they need me. I have a very difficult time telling anyone "no". Eating brought me comfort and yes, even happiness. Your wonderful post made me realize so many things. Thank you again sooo very much!
TrishasTime a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I agree - some people do look at you differently when you are a bigger person. Those same people also prejudge and assume without taking the time to look into our hearts and our minds. Our weight should not define us.
Thankyou for this post, it was uplifting and puts things into perspective
deadenddiva a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Thank you!
franklin505 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
You write so well thank you. I agree with you, losing weight does not make you happy it comes from within. Well done You for maintaining.
Tenacity149 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I look forward to your posts every week and, as usual, you did not disappoint! Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us and making our journey a little easier.
Anniepi66 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Great post/blog. Great point of view!
Birdieeez a écrit il y a 11 mois:
If you are unhappy as a heavier person, losing the weight will not make you any happier is what I’ve found.

You will just be a thinner unhappy person. I am older as well and I’ve learned to look at the big picture now. I don’t sweat the minutiae like I used too.
Tyland489 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I am new to this fitness pal and glad that there are others who desire to lose weight and have a healthy lifestyle.
suzwriter a écrit il y a 11 mois:
That is a really significant difference - while you (we) may not be happy about our weight, being happy as a person is very different.
greedyian23 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
What a lovely inspiring post.
Best wishes on your journey. I am sure that with your positivity and indeed your happy state of mind that you will reach your goals.
PAnn1 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
A BIG Thumbs Up to this blog, as well as all of the rest of your blogs!. You nailed this!!
astroamy a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Amen to that! I was also a happy fat person. Was I happy to be fat? No. But I had and still have a pretty awesome life, great career, loving husband, family and friends. When I was fat I was not someone who looked in the mirror and was disgusted with myself, I feel really bad for people who do. I wished I was thinner sure, but no self-loathing for me. How has my life changed since I lost 90 lbs and am at a healthy BMI? I now love buying clothes, I have more energy, I like feeling fit, but am I happier? I would have to say no, because I was always pretty happy.
KANGOOJUMPS a écrit il y a 11 mois:
you are a fantastic person, I can tell just from reading that!
ClaudineDesse a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Je suis nouvelle à ce pal de remise en forme et heureuse qu'il y en ait d'autres qui désirent perdre du poids pour moi là cata j'arrive pas je fait du yoyo 87 kg pour 1 m 58 et j"58 ans le moral bof rien que de me voir le reflet dans le miroir grgrr
bonne journée a vous claudine .
cathipa a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I love your positivity! You have done so great this year! Cheering you on from the sidelines :)
Colombo2000 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Great blog. Im in the same boat, living a great life and generally pretty happy but very unhappy with my weight. No dark and deep reason for my extra kilos - i just love food (especially the wrong food) and until now never learned to limit myself.
izzybelle2013 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
I became fat because I was already unhappy. Not the other way around. Now that I have reached my goal, I still take antidepressants. But I am much happier, just because I finally, finally, actually reached my goal. You are doing so very well, and we are all proud of you. Keep up the good work.
veronicamoreno10 a écrit il y a 11 mois:
Great message-look forward to more-you are right being overweight or skinny does not equate happiness-we all have are reasons for overeating-part of mine is control-it is the one thing in my life that I control no one can tell me what to eat- I know it's not right and am trying to fix , so keep up your encouraging words thanks
StevLL a écrit il y a 11 mois:
My first thought is how sad for that other person, they must miss out on some amazing relationships with other people based on their judgement. Had they looked past their own judgement they would have seen through your words the beautiful person you are. You keep being the perfectly imperfect person you are and you are also a gifted wordsmith. Great message.
kjurassic a écrit il y a 11 mois:
If I could choose a "mind-set", I would choose yours!
Rock those holidays!!!!

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