I began the day so good. 

I ate a half of a grapefruit and some scrambled eggs and toast.  But by midmorning, my head was POUNDING.  

I get migraines every once in awhile.  When I was pregnant, they never bothered me.  I didn't get one headache.  That was maybe the ONLY saving grace about pregnancy.  Between the nauseea, the backache, and the preclampsia, I did NOT enjoy being pregnant.  It was not fun.  I was a hot swollen mess.  But no headache.  

So here we are, finally not pregnant after almost 2 years, and I get my first real migraine.  I forgot how completely horrid they are.  It isn't like when I was in college, or even early marriage where I could lounge around, and go to bed and sleep it off.  I have kids, I have church responsibility, and I have friend responsibility.  Most importantly, I had a friend who just came out of surgery who I was in charge of their dinner for last night.  So I whipped up some shephard's pie during the babies nap.  (remember, I have 3 babies. Twins toddlers and a 6 month old).  So looking at the pan of food, I thought, "Well, they have to have dessert for crying out loud, she just had surgery."  So I made a batch of my....(just wiped drool off my chin), chewy chocolate chip cookies.  Ugh.

Now I can blame it on the headache and just needing a little comfort, but in all honesty, I was in that cookie dough like it was crack cocaine.  The batter mades 2 and a half dozen cookies.  I baked a total of two dozen. 

That is right. 

I ATE 6 COOKIES WORTH OF DOUGH.

As I write this, I am ashamed to even print it.  But yes.  I did.  Did it help the migraine?  No.  Did it help my disposition.  Yes.  Unfortunately.  

Which brings me to today's revalation.  I am a comfort eater.  There.  I said it.  I eat when I am in pain.  Emotional and physical.  You know how they say that realizing you have a problem is the first step to recovery?  Maybe now I can start to recover from my addiction to easing my pain with wonderful, yummy, sweet cookie dough.  I don't want to be 36 years old, tweeking in an ally somewhere, after my 3rd or 4th bowl of cookie dough, with chocolate chip residue under my nails, and dough on my chin.  I don't want to hit rock bottom, having my stomach pumped because I have salmonella due to the eggs in the dough.  NO.  The addiction stops here.  I am going to find other ways to deal with my pain.  Like say.....Excedrine, or Motrin.  

 I am so realieved to get that off my chest.

PS.  I mean ABSOLUTELY no offense to those who battle real addiction.  Those who battle and succeed in overcoming addiction, you are truely heros in my eyes.  My analagy was for humor only.