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Dear John

I went to get my mail last night and what did I find?  A cute little postcard from my old friend, Papa John.  It tore at my heartstrings because apparently he misses me.  It said, "We miss you.  Did we do something wrong?  Here's a free pizza for you."

I took a jagged, sobbing breath and ran it through the shredder before my baser instincts kicked in and I stuck it on the fridge with a magnet.  I did feel some responsibility though to at least let him know that I appreciated the effort to make amends and that it was nothing he said or did. 

So here is my reply:

Dear John,

I received your postcard and just wanted you to know...it's not you.  It's me.  I will always love you and miss you, but I have a closet full of clothes that love and miss ME.

You were always there when I needed you most and I will appreciate that forever.  Remember all the times when I got busy or  just didn't feel like cooking?  All the times I was tired and hungry or didn't feel like leaving the house?  If I forgot to take something out of the freezer, you always came through for me.  We shared so many fun times too.  You were always invited to come over when we watched baseball or football or just wanted to chill out with a movie.

You were there to see my kids grow up and leave the nest.  You were there through the sad days when I lost loved ones and days when I was so depressed I could barely function.  For all of that and more, I am eternally grateful.  Sometimes it felt like I was just using you...and probably I was but you never complained.  Never once were you too busy to show up when I called.

I know that you will continue to email me every week and that's OK.  One of these days, I will smile and know I'm ready to get together and remember old times.  But not yet.  I'm just not strong enough.  One thing would lead to another and we'd be right back where we started.

I have a new life now and I only hope that you are happy for me.  I feel good and am getting healthier by the day.  I've been exercising, eating better and just taking care of myself.  Being so close to you, I sometimes drive past or see you drive past my house and I smile.  A longing comes over me.  Yes John, I still love you.

Until we meet again,

Gayle

P.S.  Congrats on your new Tuscan Six Cheese Breadsticks.  I'm sure they're awesome!

 

264 votes + -

101 comments:

asikes60 wrote 104 months ago:
Love It!
ladyprofaz wrote 104 months ago:
This is GREAT!!!
CountryGal83 wrote 104 months ago:
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! Exactly how I feel.
gaylelynnbell wrote 104 months ago:
Glad you all enjoyed it! It was tough to throw that pizza away!
cessnaholly wrote 104 months ago:
That's great. Love it. I fight this battle and we still cheat sometimes. John's my booty call.
Shellileanne wrote 104 months ago:
That was great!! Good for you and your strength!!
BigDaddyBRC wrote 104 months ago:
Classic! And great recognition! PJ and I still get together...just only a couple times a month versus a week.
AZnewme wrote 104 months ago:
That was great!
Luke_Quist wrote 104 months ago:
Nice!
cryjamer wrote 104 months ago:
Love it!
harleenarang wrote 104 months ago:
Now that's how its done :)
reynolds33 wrote 104 months ago:
Thanks for the smile. Best Wishes and Good Luck.
rileysowner wrote 104 months ago:
I would have happily taken that coupon, then split the pizza with the whole family. Great post though it made me :-D
cygnetpro wrote 104 months ago:
Well done! And very funny!
Kaison02 wrote 104 months ago:
nice
lasttoast wrote 104 months ago:
this was a great letter!!! Hope his feelings aren't too hurt!! Good way to stay strong!!
LoreleiWalks wrote 104 months ago:
So funny!
LoreleiWalks wrote 104 months ago:
So funny!
gaylelynnbell wrote 104 months ago:
LOL...I think he'll be OK once he gets used to the idea!
AmandaCaswell1982 wrote 104 months ago:
AWESOME!!!!!! Good to let him know it wasn't him, it was you! ;)
zepoltony wrote 104 months ago:
That was hilarious! How can be funny when you're hungry??!?
russellma wrote 104 months ago:
What a fun way to celebrate your new life! Good job on your resolve and your writing! I enjoyed it!
hiker282 wrote 104 months ago:
Yup, John and I have the same kind of relationship. We met up once last month and it was wonderful. But then the new year came and there are some goals I want to achieve, and sadly, John will only be a hindrance to reaching those goals. So while I am sure we will get together again one day on a very limited basis, for now I must keep my distance. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone.
lwill0110 wrote 104 months ago:
beautiful!
MiniMichelle wrote 104 months ago:
This is by far the best blog post ever!!!!
urownstupidity wrote 104 months ago:
I lol'd so hard I think I almost peed my pants xD
soccerella wrote 104 months ago:
feel free to send that free pizza my way :)
runningathena wrote 104 months ago:
This post totally made my day. BRAVO!
quiksandy wrote 104 months ago:
I loved this! You are very funny.
thejackswild79 wrote 104 months ago:
PRICELESS! I love it!
gaylelynnbell wrote 104 months ago:
So glad I could bring a smile to so many faces today. And have all brought a smile to mine with your comments!
zoe4friends wrote 104 months ago:
OMG, love it!!! So creative!!!
michelerich77 wrote 104 months ago:
OOHHHH That was the best! Just what I needed!! Can you forward that on to "PAPA MURPHYS PIZZA" TOO PLEASE?? I think they are BROTHERS! lol
Britt2Fitjrny wrote 104 months ago:
Did i write that? Those are my exact feelings! Love it! :D
pauljsolie wrote 104 months ago:
Good for you AND funny. Thanks
clarkeje1 wrote 104 months ago:
I love this :)
avzinn wrote 104 months ago:
Thanks for this!
smartal5 wrote 104 months ago:
Thank you so much for that! The laugh that came from it was a good long one and I shared your post with some friends that are also going on the journey of healthful eating.
sm423 wrote 104 months ago:
This was an awesome read. And kudos to you for staying strong. ;)
bh12058 wrote 104 months ago:
Adorable blog! I'm sure John misses all of us!
pouringraina wrote 104 months ago:
Haha, I didn't get it until about half way through and then I re read it. This is awesome!
nextrightthing wrote 104 months ago:
This is so clever and truly funny!
Bysshe wrote 104 months ago:
This was awesome!
I totally relate! :D
It is very clever and cute.
And great job turning down the pizza!!
Mardill wrote 104 months ago:
Poor John! With all the mfp'ers breaking up with him, he will be one lonely guy! And financially suffering, too! Just like in a divorce!
What a laugh I had reading this! Thanks for posting!
singledj wrote 104 months ago:
LOL... You totally nailed it!! And congrats to you for shredding the card. Keep up the awesome work.
suzieqj wrote 104 months ago:
I really need to write something like that to my old pal Taco Bell. I miss them too. Good luck to you.
Sharon009 wrote 104 months ago:
So cute! Well done!
realrayne10 wrote 104 months ago:
I feel that way about the sushi chef at Benihana. At least you know your man's name. Now I just feel dirty. Thanks! ;)
andreamhaywood wrote 104 months ago:
OMG, this is adorable!! Gayle, you do know the best medicine, laughter! Thanks!
IssaquahMom wrote 104 months ago:
Absolutely loved this! Thank you for the laugh ;-)
mwestonp wrote 104 months ago:
My husband and I both loved this! You could have a career in professional writing (if you don't already have one :) )
LiviLou2011 wrote 104 months ago:
lol love the story!!
Karen_Sylvest wrote 104 months ago:
=D
cloud2011 wrote 104 months ago:
Very funny! Thanks for sharing :}
ShrinkRapt451 wrote 104 months ago:
BRILLIANT. :D
megansmom311 wrote 104 months ago:
So, so funny!! I loved this! Poor John... =)
shaefus wrote 104 months ago:
You are too cute! Thanks for the nice read!
abra526 wrote 104 months ago:
Haha, thanks for the smile, you're adorable! lol. I should write a similar letter to my favorite Mexican restaurant!
RunningAggie wrote 104 months ago:
I love this!!
laurapgmartinez wrote 104 months ago:
*love*
gaylelynnbell wrote 104 months ago:
I am overwhelmed with the response to this! (((HUGS)))
MarileeP wrote 104 months ago:
Breaking up is hard to do - but you did it brilliantly.
theperfectmile wrote 104 months ago:
Hahaha I love your creativity! made me laugh :)
megan1869 wrote 104 months ago:
There needs to be a Facebook "share" button on this page! OMG.. I love it!
jazzhottie wrote 104 months ago:
hahaha... you are so cleaver! Love the letter! :-)
ghostlygirl wrote 104 months ago:
I love this! :)
ACEgirl1 wrote 104 months ago:
Now, that was funny! Good for you!!
brendacooks wrote 104 months ago:
Hilarious!
april522 wrote 104 months ago:
This is great!
Lyndi4 wrote 104 months ago:
Love it!!!
simplyeater wrote 104 months ago:
Thanks for the laugh!!
RachelJE wrote 104 months ago:
You are awesome!!
bearwithme041 wrote 104 months ago:
I love it !!
nwhitley wrote 104 months ago:
OMG!!! Love it!! He and I used to be very close too. Just the laugh I needed.
dannie1026 wrote 104 months ago:
you are hilarious...sooooooii neeced that today!
RebeccaIngham wrote 104 months ago:
Love this!!! And congrats on being strong. I, for one, know how challenging it can be to resist those things we love but are oh-so-bad for us.
opalmel wrote 104 months ago:
Awesome blog post! Absolutely loved it!
stacyjbaker1010 wrote 104 months ago:
hysterical! Love it!
crazyola26 wrote 104 months ago:
Gayle, this is SO true. Isn't it easy to turn to food as a companion, a cheesy shoulder to lean on, or a crusty friend to celebrate with??? This is maybe the best entry I've seen, and I'm so glad to know I am not the only one who feels this way!
Toniald wrote 104 months ago:
Too cute love it!!
provence9 wrote 104 months ago:
Hysterical!
emmy0417 wrote 104 months ago:
I feel like this was straight from my heart! but GOOD FOR YOU!! :)
asprince wrote 104 months ago:
I needed to laugh!!!
fitmomma613 wrote 104 months ago:
This is awesome! I love your creativity in writing this! I hope you don't mind that I shared a link on my blog to this story! I'm sure my friends will enjoy reading this!

http://www.underthebigoaktree.com/2012/01/spring-chick-challenge-mid-week-update.html
amandabarge wrote 104 months ago:
Adorable.
carrie564 wrote 104 months ago:
Hahaha so good :) I feel like I should print this & post it somewhere to read whenever I feel like caving in on the naughty foods
GretchenReine wrote 104 months ago:
That was beautiful!!! I love it!
Kelleyrh5 wrote 104 months ago:
HAHAHA LOVE IT!!!!!
diaryoffatdad wrote 104 months ago:
excellent post!!!
silvergurl518 wrote 104 months ago:
tee hee. i'm a little teary eyed ;)
nakabi wrote 104 months ago:
Excellent post and so well written!
butterfly0475 wrote 104 months ago:
Great letter! Thanks for sharing.
LovinLifeChik wrote 104 months ago:
Such a great post! Very thoughtful...and so true!
YoungerNextYear59937 wrote 104 months ago:
Poignant and funny too! A great combination--and I don't mean combination pizza! :)
kellogg084 wrote 104 months ago:
You go girl!!!
Birdy wrote 104 months ago:
Domino's is my "John" and I completely relate!
Nicolette1960 wrote 104 months ago:
Loved it!! My relationship is a bit more complicated. There are 2, yes, TWO men! Ben and Jerry. I think they have put it together that I am in love with BOTH of them. They are ALWAYS hangin' out TOGETHER..I never get a chance to talk to Ben, without Jerry butting his big Cherry Garcia head in. Yikes!! ANY SUGGESTIONS??????
edtrina99 wrote 104 months ago:
LOVE IT... just read your blog about the BIG GIRL PANTIES.. you are awsome :)
kwinty37 wrote 104 months ago:
love it!!! the sad thing is i gave in to papa johns tonight :( i've have been full of regrets since i finished dinner....
millsjam1 wrote 104 months ago:
What a terrific letter...brought a tear to my eye. And appreciation.
nu2012 wrote 104 months ago:
Haha this is funny and so sweet!! LOVE your humor!
Though you feel bad about using John,just as a consolation....you did pay John well every time.That is what kept him going and flourishing and reproducing into many other Johns!With your love,John is also a big boy now and can take care of himself!!

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