What Am I Thinking?!
I know. Sorry for being a slacker.
Once I knocked off a few dozen pounds and learned to get moving, I decided to try running. It was a dumb idea. Really dumb. I mean, everyone knows that it's supposed to be bad for your knees.
It also appears that there are many "running will kill you" studies by non-running doctor's then there are water cups at a marathon.
Studies use the following ratings: "light," "moderate," or "vigorous" jogger. It's obviously biased because I was a "heavy" jogger; a "very heavy" jogger. And the truth is this; calling a runner a jogger is as offensive as calling your coworker the "B" word. And I don't mean beautiful. ;)
I already tried having heart failure in 2011. I am done with that crap. My favorite "running is the new smoking" study showed that there were 2 deaths over a period of 10 years.
Are you kidding me? More people die in a year from choking on chocolate cake!
My cardiologist says my heart is in great shape. My once 20% ejection fraction is great, resting pulse is at 48 and my BP is about the same as when I was a teenager. My max heart rate is 171 which is better than average for my age.
I had knee surgery and foot surgery and rotator cuff surgery and heart surgery and cancer surgery and needed a bag of frozen peas for my nuts and a ton of other procedures that included sticking things in my &$$.
I still run.
This weekend I will be running the NYC marathon. It will be my third World Major and 7th marathon. I missed a couple of marathons due to surgery. #cancersucks
Want to know the real reasons that running is bad for you? It's addictive. According to MediLexicon International, these are the symptoms of addiction. I am adapting them to running.
The person cannot stop - because it will kill your race time. DUH!
Increased appetite – I finally got my movement to equal my intake. I have to run 50 miles a week.
Taking an initial large dose - Starting the race too fast. Running without a warm up.
Insomnia - a common symptom of addiction also known as pre-race jitters. The bigger the race, the sooner it starts.
Continues despite health problems - taking a cast off to run 5 miles, not listening to all sorts of pain etc.
Social and/or recreational sacrifices - You don't run, you don't understand.
Maintaining a good supply - Fortunately there is plenty right outside the front door. The higher quality stuff is at races.
Risky behavior - the addicted individual take risks to make sure they can obtain their substance, by stealing or trading sex for money or running shoes.
Risks while under the influence - the addict may engage in risky activities, such as hugging people they don't know at the finish line or taking runs with people they have never met from Facebook groups.
Dealing with problems - an addicted person commonly feels they need their drug to deal with their problems. Running cures everything.
Obsession - an addicted person may spend more and more time and energy focusing on ways to make time for running, travel for running and to improve their performance.
Secrecy and solitude - in many cases the addict may hide new shoes from their significant other or register for races on their anniversary weekend. Run alone without music.
Denial - actually, no runner has a problem. Not even a little one.
Withdrawal symptoms - one word: marathon tapering! OK, two. Anger, resentment, food. Did I mention food?
Excess consumption - run streaks, marathons, ultras, back-to-back half marathons, 3- and 4-way challenges, there is just not enough running.
Blackouts - cannot remember chunks of time. In particular, how you felt after the marathon when signing up for the next one.
Having stashes - GUs, Stingers, protein bars, and shoes. It seems hoarding is a side-effect of running.
Having problems with the law - this is a symptom of impaired judgment. Not stopping for crossing signals, running on the wrong side of the road during races, indecent exposure while relieving yourself in public - the list goes on.
Financial difficulties - shoes, race fees, travel expenses, RnR memberships. The cost of running is daunting.
Relationship problems - they just don't understand. I’ll find a runner.
Dropping hobbies and activities - progressive addiction may stop doing things he/she used to enjoy such as running for fun.
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