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How the Hell Do I Know?

Why do avocados have large pits? I don't know? Why do drive-up ATMs have Braille? Why do women like to talk about feelings and men like talk about sex? Dunno.

The real question is how do we complete this journey?

Are we supposed to die fit? If were not, when is OK to give up exercising and eating healthy? I am really asking myself these questions. It's been one hell of a journey since February of 2011. A lot of people know my story. Running on the treadmill one day in ICU 2 days later with congestive heart failure. On the flip-side I have had some great success as a runner too - for one my age anyway.

It doesn't really feel like my life.

It's hard to explain how bad I feel because I haven't run in 3 weeks. Actually it's been pretty close to 8 weeks since the Boston Marathon. I did manage to fit in a 60 mile run across Massachusetts on a weekend. I also gained about 10 pounds.

The weight loss journey is as hard as it ever was!

It's the same old story. A few cheat meals, forget to watch portions, a whole package of cookies in the house, and melanoma surgery which kept me from running. People said I should be good to myself, it's OK you have cancer - it's not working! 10 hard fought pounds came back!

My new clothes don't really fit well. *sigh*

I am back to logging. I have had one run, a 5K in 30 minutes. I know that I have a surgery again in 4 weeks, but I have to do this now. I have to run!

When I gained 5 pounds I said to myself it's not a big deal, I will lose later. So now that it's 10 what should I say to myself? Did I cut myself some slack? I don't see any other way to stop the downward spiral but doing anything other than logging. I can run, and I even have another marathon in a month!

I have put together a few days of logging, tossed the cookies that were left on the table and got in one 3 mile run. That is what I know how to do.

Thanks for listening!

3 Years on MFP - Get Me Some HELP!

If it weren't for freakin' leap year in 2012, today would be 3 years since I logged into MFP daily - that includes logging my food not just being an expert in the forums! If you have nothing to do for the next 2 hours my friends, you can check out my log. Actually, since I was diagnosed with cancer, it has not been a top priority. :(

I started my weight loss journey with a YMCA class, In It To Lose It. It was tough getting started (More HERE). I didn't really know much about eating well or exercising; it was all about losing weight, not really about getting healthy or fit.

Lose weight, that's what I came for! That's truth.

I have learned a lot since I got here. Like WTG is not a typo for WTF and NSV is Non-Scale Victory and not "No Sexy Virgin." Context is vitally important. I have learned to most weight-losers gain back an average of 73% of whatever they lost, and that just about everyone fails within 5 years.

That really sucks!

I had congestive heart failure a few months after I started, and that changed my focus from becoming a male stripper, to getting fit so that I could see my youngest off into the wonders of adulthood.

I became a born again runner!

My first year (2011) was a tough one. I had a heart attack (More HERE) and after lots of agony, I finally I decided to have knee surgery in December '11. Vicodin was fun! (More HERE)

A year after I was in ICU, March 25, 2012, I ran my first ever 5K (3.1 miles)! (Details) On September 1, 2012 I ran my first ever 10k (6.2 miles) in 1 hour and 5 minutes. I ran my first 1/2 Marathon (13.1 miles) on the 24th.

During my second year I was down to 203 - within view of one-derland. And then the unthinkable, the scale started going back up. It hovers at about 208, but my waist is 3" smaller, my quads are almost 5" inches bigger, my feet and most everything else remains the same. I also had rotaor cuff surgery and that sort of put an end to being a badass body builder. It took a year to recover.

I made it down to 199.

Year 3 has been a tough one. I was diagnosed with cancer and to top it off, melanoma too. I had a stress fracture and fell on the ice and busted my collar bone.

I ran the Boston Marathon with my stupid tumors and then I ran 60 miles across Masschusetts with them too.

Since I was diagnosed with cancer I set a new PR for the 5K, 10K, 15K, 5 mile, and 10 mile distances. I will hit 2000 miles running in 2014.

Oh yeah, and not only was I able to get fit by putting in the effort, prayer, and support from you all, I feel better than I have in 30 years.

Thanks for all your support!

So You Ate a Cookie!

Did you ever have one of those days when everything just seemed to go wrong? I've had a lot of them. There was a time when cookies were the answer. I am coming up on a 3-year streak on MFP. When I started MFP, I was sick with heart disease, I was obese, and I didn't know anything about food except what kinds I liked. I liked cookies.

Everyone needs a treat of a cheat, right?

After a while I began to read the message boards where the MFP experts are! Some people applauded eating junk food as long as it was within their calories. So I tried it. It worked really good for me for 2 days. Then I went on a binge and ate the whole package of Oreos in a day.


It took me some time figure out I can't do that. But in case you are wondering, I did eventually get some smaller underwear. (Makes my privates tingle just thinking about it.) The only thing that seems unchanged is my sock size.

I started running. It took a year to do C25K and so many on here were killing it in a few months time. I felt like a failure, but I kept running, only forgetting to put my running shorts on once. Fortunately it was early in the morning and only one neighbor called the police. I was home safe before they showed up.

I ran a 5K and then a 10K. The next year I ran a half marathon and finally a marathon. I even wrote a book about it. ICU to Marathon. My MFP buddies helped me with it a lot! 

I was doing good and then, BAM! I was diagnosed with cancer. If left untreated, it would kill me. I kept running. I explored my options. I ran the Boston Marathon. I PRd my 5K, 10K, 15K, 5 mile, 10 mile and 1/2 marathon as I ran with cancer. I took first place in my age group for the 10K and a 3rd for the 5K too. I kept eating healthy and logging. Interestingly, diet kept coming up in regards to cancer - a lot. While I was managing a treatment plan, KaPow, I was diagnosed with melanoma. If left untreated, that would kill me too. 

I kept running.

This past weekend I ran 59.45 miles in 3 days. After 33 miles the first 2 days, I woke up and ran a marathon on day 3.

Tomorrow I have a melanoma excision. I will be down from running for a bit, but I will still be on MFP logging in and trying to mange life, food and cookies.
Thanks for the votes, comments and prayers. They all encourage me to keep running. 
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