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I Want Credit for All My Calories!

I don’t know about you, but I want credit for every darn calorie I burn each day. To my dismay, there are some things that are NOT in the MFP Cardio Vascular Exercise search.

What a rip off!

After all I have given up sleeping late to go running at 5:45, Wendy’s Triple Baconater Combo Meals (1,850 cals!), having second helpings at meals and pretty much all my favorite desserts!!

Anyway, here are some things I do that I want calorie credit for on MFP!

Laughing: That’s right, if you think that a redneck fire alarm (Jiffy Pop nailed to the ceiling) on YouTube is funny; you deserve credit for laughing at it.

New research published in the International Journal of Obesity has discovered that laughter really is the best medicine for a weight problem. That’s right, 15 minutes a day is 10-14 calories.

Relaxing: Look, if you are breathing, you are burning calories! I think this is unfair to us lazy people, and I’d like it changed!

Posing for Animal Crackers: Standing burns more calories than sitting! So, posing for the Lion Sleeps Tonight mural is just a few hundred less.

Sleeping: This is another thing that I am pretty damn good at, and in fact do a lot of. It has got to count for something!

HERE are 50 more ways to burn calories without sweating!

Kissing: I like kissing my kids and my wife (no, not the same way you pervert!), and apparently 9,000 kisses add up to a hundred calories!

In fact there is a lot of stuff you can do burn another 100!

Sex: Come on, you already knew this. One orgasm, two, three or more, the details are HERE. (See, there are some places woman can lose weight more quickly than men!) I am going to add it to MFP as “you know” so that when you read my posts they will say “David just did you know for 13 minutes and burned 124 calories and half the house (because he knocked over the candle on the night stand!)”

Drinking Cold Water: That’s right. If you drink cold water, you burn calories trying to warm back up! I am wondering how MFP will post it if you drink cold water during sex? “David did you know, cold water for a total of 17 minutes and burned 154 calories.”

Need some MORE ideas?

Other than chewing, what do you want credit for?

I am working on my book these next few weeks. I hope you won't mind an occasional repeat. Thanks for your comments, votes and support of my book!

10 Signs It's a Bad Restaurant

We've all been to a restaurant; it's a way of life in civilized countries. You walk in, sit at a table, order something that sounds better than your grandma made when you 5, and wait for it to appear at the hand of the wait staff.

I bet you have a favorite restaurant or two. I know I do!

Most of the folks on MFP worry about blowing their caloric wad at an all you can eat buffet, but there are other reasons you won't want to eat at some restaurants.

-1 The hostess is changing the oil of her Harley in the parking lot.

-2 The bathroom smells like a bathroom - used by Godzilla (or Mrs. Godzilla).

-3 There is an ambulance at the back entrance.

-4 The word Condemned on the sign has been crossed out and changed to Come In.

-5 Hair is actually a side dish.

-6 The fly in the soup is doing the backstroke.

-7 The menu has real food stuck to it.

-8 The catch of the day is skunk.

-9 The chef can be overheard talking about road kill.

-10 The kids menu includes a small drink milk, soda, coffee or beer.

Thanks for the vote and comments. You guys rock!

And thanks for supporting my book! HERE is a link.

I Have Some Funny Friends

I like too post silly stuff on my profile - it amuses me. But here is a post from a number of months ago that cracks me up. I am easily amused, I hope you will be too.

I scanned the bar-code in my running shorts with the MFP app and it came up as string cheese in the food diary.
4 months ago · Comment

Love at First Sight

If you have ever fallen in love, you know how crippling it can be. Everything you do becomes focused on the object of your affection. You can't work or think or even count change at the convenience store. Love, it's the fodder for chick-flicks and Country songs!

It's happened to me a few times.

The most recent encounter was just the other day. I was out running around, and as I turned onto the cobbled sidewalk at Douglas and Main Street, there he was running with a camel, wearing a pair of lime green Saucony Hurricanes. "How far you going he shouted from the other side of the street?"

My heart stopped. "10 miles." I yelled back. It was really 8, but I exaggerated a little, wanting to impress him. Could this be the one?

"I am doing 18, and heading this way." He said as he pointed on up the road. I crossed the street and we shook hands at 6 miles per hour.

A bromance was born.

It certainly had the potential for a steamy, sweating, runner romance. As we headed on up the road at his pace, I just listened as he talked about being a cancer survivor and how he ran 40 miles on his 40th birthday. It's hard to talk when you are trying not to swallow your tongue and panting like a Chihuahua in heat, but I kept up.

It turns out my new bud is training for the New York City Marathon in November. One of the guys on my Monday night trail run with the club is to. But he and I are just platonic friends exchanging an occasional text. I think he loves his family more than running.

Having a run partner for just a week or so, has changed my running. He sends me emails with routes. He already trained for and ran 5 marathons; he knows what it takes. He knows the value of a good easy long run. He invited me to track workouts, but being a virgin, I am not sure I am ready.

On a 2 hour run we chat about family, kids, guitar, politics, religion, and of course running. We go easy. On the shorter runs we pick it up and hit about a 9:00 minute mile. It challenges me to be with a better runner.

Sunday we went for an active recovery run from the park to his car. The guy had a towel, water and a Clif Bar for me. Now that's love!

After 2 years of virtually running 2000 miles alone, it's refreshing to have a new mate.

Thanks for the votes and commments. And thanks to all of you who have supported my book! HERE is the link if you want to know more.

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