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You Should Laugh Your Butt Off! No Really...

I don’t know about you, but I want credit for every darn calorie I burn each day. To my dismay, there are some things that are NOT in the MFP Cardio Vascular Exercise search.

What a rip off!

After all I have given up sleeping late to go running at 5:45, Wendy’s Triple Baconater Combo Meals (1,850 cals!), having second helpings at meals and pretty much all my favorite desserts!!

Anyway, here are some things I do that I want calorie credit for on MFP!

Laughing: That’s right, if you think that a redneck fire alarm (Jiffy Pop nailed to the ceiling) on YouTube is funny; you deserve credit for laughing at it.

New research published in the International Journal of Obesity has discovered that laughter really is the best medicine for a weight problem. That’s right, 15 minutes a day is 10-14 calories.

Relaxing: Look, if you are breathing, you are burning calories! I think this is unfair to us lazy people, and I’d like it changed!

Posing for Animal Crackers: That’s right, standing burns more calories than sitting!

Sleeping: This is another thing that I am pretty damn good at, and in fact do a lot of. It has got to count for something!

HERE are 50 more ways to burn calories without sweating!

Kissing: I like kissing my kids and my wife (no, not the same way you pervert!), and apparently 9,000 kisses add up to a hundred calories!

In fact there is a lot of stuff you can do burn another 100!

Sex: Come on, you already knew this. One orgasm, two, three or more, the details are HERE. (See, there are some places woman can lose weight more quickly than men!) I am going to add it to MFP as “you know” so that when you read my posts they will say “David just did you know for 13 minutes and burned 124 calories and half the house (because he knocked over the candle on the night stand!”

Drinking Cold Water: That’s right. If you drink cold water, you burn calories trying to warm back up! I am wondering how MFP will post it if you drink cold water during sex? “David did you know, cold water for a total of 17 minutes and burned 154 calories.”

Need some MORE ideas?

Other than chewing, what do you want credit for?

80 votes + -

22 comments:

Crystal_Rudolph wrote 134 months ago:
wonder about kegal exercises...lol
dsjohndrow wrote 134 months ago:
@Crystal - :)
STARSHINE1975 wrote 134 months ago:
I want credit for standing outside of the bathroom doing the pee pee dance because of all the water I drink.
dsjohndrow wrote 134 months ago:
ME TOO!
skinnyme47 wrote 134 months ago:
lol
Ashleypeterson37 wrote 134 months ago:
LOL! :D
GurleyGirl524 wrote 134 months ago:
showering.....that's standing & moving
AdAstra47 wrote 134 months ago:
Love this!
I want credit for typing. I'm developing some serious finger muscles. Seriously, I may have to adjust my ring sizes.
Also, can I get credit for jumping through hoops at work?
How about sidestepping responsibility, jumping to conclusions, running down the boss, beating dead horses, and pushing my luck? Wow, I should be eating, like, 1000 more calories...
clippershore wrote 134 months ago:
OMG, I really needed a laugh. Really liked the comment about jumping through hoops etc.
mageepilot wrote 134 months ago:
Want credit for moving and clicking my computer mouse! Pushing up my glasses, blowing my nose, trying on clothes, and petting the dogs :)
unhinge wrote 134 months ago:
Thanks, I need this :)
lukesmama wrote 134 months ago:
Hysterical! Just log you know what as 'gardening' :)
kimi131 wrote 134 months ago:
David just did you know for 13 minutes and burned 124 calories

Haha!!!! Hilarious!
Redladystl wrote 134 months ago:
LOL!!!! I agree with the calories for the pee pee dance!!! Too funny! How about calories burned while driving.
melsmith612 wrote 134 months ago:
I was wondering if someone would add "you know" to the exercise list! LOL
Chickabittie wrote 134 months ago:
David, a whole 13 minutes! ; )

dsjohndrow wrote 134 months ago:
@Chick - just for the Cardio part!
frankie2637 wrote 134 months ago:
This is brilliant lol. And I totally agree about the "you Know" being on the list. I want credit for that!!!

Would also like credit for the amount of time I spend hunting for the tv remote in the house coz someones hidden it
Lalaskiss wrote 133 months ago:
u know I was just thinking about that this morning =)
brokenwoman wrote 125 months ago:
there is a site that I go to and check out because it has everything from sleeping to running and sex and what not to check it out and figure out what I can do and I add to the database too. I also added sexual activity, but I think "you know" is a lot better and funnier :)
DragonflyBoudica wrote 97 months ago:
calorie credit for completing the mfp diary daily.
ANTWNH wrote 81 months ago:
Reading credit for trying to catch up with all the "you know" funny posts and responses. Thanks again Dave, for a fun and informative way share your life's struggles and successes.

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