You are viewing dsjohndrow's blog MyFitnessPal is a 100% Free Calorie Counter and Diet Plan

Why the Gym and I Are Breaking Up

I have been a member of the local YMCA for over 2 years. I have worked out a few times a week since we joined. I did skip it while I was in ICU, after 2 surgeries I had, and while I was away on vacation. I like vacation better than surgery.

I learned a lot from being part of a gym and taking some classes.

The real reason I am leaving is not because of anything they did. It's not even because of the people there, many of whom are on the People Of Walmart site; it's just that after being unemployed for 9 months, I need to cut some expenses.

I can run outside, and I have perfected a home workout routine for strength training that I can do on the carpet - right after I shampoo the spots where the dog puked.

I will miss the ability to go run on the treadmill if the weather sucks. And circuit/strength training was really easy with their machines. I admit, I haven't taken a class in awhile, but I loved them because we had fun and encouraged each other. The staff was helpful in showing me proper form, and opened my eyes to the possibilities of various types of workouts.

One of the funniest moments happened in my In It To Lose It class. We had a fellow named Dick in our class, and he would often show up late. One day one of the other students came to class late. The trainer asked the late comer sarcastically: "What are you, pulling a Dick?" I just about dropped my Bosu ball.

Here are a few of my observations about the gym:

- Classes: If there is a class where people do sit ups while facing each other in a circle, one in which they give each other high-5s, I grantee someone will fart, and you will know who it is.

- Planks:  A 1 minute plank is no different then being backed over by an SUV.

- Treadmill Use: If you use a treadmill, be sure to get one in the back row. That way if you step off it at 8 MPH, not as many people will see you. The down side is that it also might take someone longer to come to your aid.

- Cell Phones: If you are using you cell phone and taking up space on a machine, you deserve a freakin' slap. If you are yakking it up on the treadmill, someone needs to trip you.

- Skin: Modesty is well, not the motto of everyone there.

- Plastic Surgery:  You will see at least one bad Botox job. There was one woman I was going to put back in the fish tank.

- Mirrors: The more muscles you have, the slower you walk by the mirror.

- Couples: Most men don't really want to work out with their spouses.

- Free Weights: Grunting is tolerable in the free-weight section, but screaming like you just had an orgasm is not.

- Attire: I suggest posting a picture of your gym attire on Facebook before actually going to the gym. You might get some constructive feedback.

- Spandex: If you have chub rub and run wearing Spandex, people will think you are lying when your pants catch fire.

Thanks for the votes and comments! (You can do both.)

73 votes + -

13 comments:

cbmcphillips wrote 103 months ago:
Luckily my gym is free - thank you Uncle Sam... (work for the govt) plus going after work beats sitting in traffic stop and go and go and stop....
ps - everything on this list is so beyond true... now, bring a towel (to wipe off the machines)....
rciszek wrote 103 months ago:
hahahaha, loved it. I know, I've got to get back to using my membership for other than the crappy weather treadmill run....oh, and my swim day, which is amazing with the hot tub following. I debated giving mine up to, but I love the swim too much.
turkeyhunter60 wrote 103 months ago:
I've never had a gym membership. Have done "boot camp" at the office for the last year. NOW, part of our staff is relocating, and we won't have the trainer out there. Gonna have to look for something different. Thanks for writing.
justmeg86 wrote 103 months ago:
Funny....I agree with most also. Which is why I go to the gym alone (my boyfriend has a gym membership there as well but I do not ask him to join me), I do my thing (leaving my cell phone in my gym bag), and I leave. I don't watch people because I don't want people to watch me. I do, however, notice the people that need to put on more clothes. I also turn my head when I hear what sounds like an orgasm coming from the free weights corner. ha!
angieroo2 wrote 103 months ago:
"Planks: A 1 minute plank is no different then being backed over by an SUV." I'm almost tempted to experiment. Almost.
Mustangsally1000 wrote 103 months ago:
Allright, I can't seem to finish my thought! We all had to "get out of the pool" cuz some kid had just crapped in another section of the pool. It's fun to play at the Y M C A!!! Major ICK!!!
Denjo060 wrote 103 months ago:
Hahahah love it
MaryRegs wrote 103 months ago:
laughing at work-thanks!!
jdhosier wrote 103 months ago:
Thanks for the poignant and hysterical observations.
loswa4 wrote 103 months ago:
I haven't been to the gym in years. I love working out at home. I have all the equipment that I need. Outside on the farm is good for walking, running, etc. The dogs and horses keep me active. Since moving here, the nearest gym is 30 minutes away, and I don't want that hassle. Great article!
wisebadger53 wrote 103 months ago:
"Grunting is tolerable in the free-weight section, but screaming like you just had an orgasm is not." You should hear the young female body builder at our gym...it's sometimes like the sound track from a bad porn film. :)

jagfan wrote 103 months ago:
All true! I am a member of the YMCA here. We have some great facilities. My schedule has not allowed me to participate in the classes as much, but I love the choices I have. They have much better instructors that some of the other chains around here. My pet peeve is the cell phone...get serious and sweat!! Great job as always!
demery12371 wrote 102 months ago:
Ok this: One of the funniest moments happened in my In It To Lose It class. We had a fellow named Dick in our class, and he would often show up late. One day one of the other students came to class late. The trainer asked the late comer sarcastically: "What are you, pulling a Dick?" I just about dropped my Bosu ball.


Cracked me up... I almost spit out my lunch...
*Note to self... do not read his blogs while eating :)

Add Comment

Commenting as anonymous user

About Me
8a45210ee073b05f7e6aa06c1984583b33cb thumb
Tools
Archives
About MyFitnessPal
Join MyFitnessPal today and lose weight the healthy way. Get your own 100% free diet blog and calorie counter. Put away your credit card - you'll never pay a cent."

join now for free