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Why Men Lose Weight More Easily than Women, Really

I have seen a lot folks say that men lose weight more quickly than woman. That's not all they do more quickly; it is the micro-wave vs crockpot analogy.
 As usual, I have few thoughts that are shrouded in stupidity, and flavored with a dash of truth.

- Clothes: Men don't by clothes in sizes. If man goes from a size 12 to an 8, it is because he cut off his foot in a logging accident.

- Gastric Bypass (Flagellation): Men just fart more, sometimes significantly reducing their body mass and destroying meaningful conversation.

- Muscles Mass: Men have a few more places to put muscles. For example, the mouth. (Please refer to the anatomy chart below for additional locations).

- Unplanned Trips: These generally come in the form of bread and milk. However; they can be for diapers, baby formula - and when the woman are away, beer. Each trip is worth about 100 calories.

- 12 or 16 oz. Curls: This is a body building technique that most woman are unwilling to undertake because it requires the lack of small children, morals and brain power to accomplish. It comes in many forms, but most MFP-ers would call it Bud or Miller Lite. I think it is in the cardio search.

- Yelling: They yell at the TV more than woman. Politics, sports, and the Hunting Channel give you more to yell about than the Ellen, Lifetime and Disney. This is also in the cardio search.

- Scotch: It's a replacement for protein shakes. When used in excess, it not only keeps the male from eating, but in severe cases performing all but the most basic bodily functions including reverse peristalsis which counts as -10 calories consumed.

- Faster Metabolism: It is true, most men burn calories more quickly than woman, particularly around the time the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is published.

- Relating to Food: In general woman tend to be more emotional about food, where the majority of men are not willing to admit to having any emotions.

- Sex: When men think of romance, they are not thinking about food, going out to dinner etc. This is a huge calorie saver.

Thanks for voting, commenting and reading along. You guys and gals are great!

Friend me if you like, although you might be sorry you did. ;)

104 votes + -


aliciagetshealthy wrote 129 months ago:
And somehow, throughout history, men have been thought to be the smarter sex! - well, at least by other men =) ...apparently they are just gas-ier and run women out of the conversation ;)
cocodragonz420 wrote 129 months ago:
GentlyLosing wrote 129 months ago:
"Men just fart more, sometimes signifcanty reducing their body mass and destroying meaningful conversation."

Now that right there is funny, I don't care who you are!!!
thunt1990 wrote 129 months ago:
Hahaha this is hilarious!
dianaskin wrote 129 months ago:
too funny!!!
ImKindOfABigDeal40 wrote 129 months ago:
Very funny
ncole3 wrote 129 months ago:
LMBO!! You are funny!
Snowridesbikes wrote 129 months ago:
Always funny!
manderson27 wrote 129 months ago:
Burned a few calories laughing at this.
DynamicDiva wrote 129 months ago:
very funny
momof8munchkins wrote 129 months ago:
SDkitty wrote 129 months ago:
Ha ha! Too cute!
Mios3 wrote 129 months ago:
linda1243 wrote 129 months ago:
That is hilarious!
thurberj wrote 129 months ago:
I needed a laugh this afternoon! Thanks!!
rschmmidt wrote 129 months ago:
I voted yes just because I liked the phrase "reverse peristalsis". Very funny!
LendaJ wrote 129 months ago:
He ain't wrong! LOL Good article.
ketrell wrote 129 months ago:
fitzie63 wrote 129 months ago:
One more, very important reason: TESTOSTERONE.
sk2775 wrote 129 months ago:
muitobem wrote 129 months ago:
Too funny!!!
cressievargo wrote 129 months ago:
babygurl48 wrote 129 months ago:
Too funny!!
shalae1 wrote 129 months ago:
Always make me laugh! Nice for the Cardio, lol
healthilyandhappily wrote 129 months ago:
LOL! Funny!
PhatGirl1989 wrote 129 months ago:
LOL, that was too awesome!

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