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Why I Am Not Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner!

We are hitting a local restaurant because my wife is working pet sitting, both of her parents have had surgeries and are not going to do it either... and the last time I did Thanksgiving dinner with Mary Anne, I welded the potato pot to the stove, setting off the fire alarm. Then I forgot to open the flu in the fireplace setting off the carbon monoxide detectors which made the Akitas bark and howl. So we opened the doors and everyone was freezing. Oh, and Joan was late as usual, but there was no cell signal so she couldn't call us.

I guess it wasn't that bad, her dad let me marry her.

We will all be thankful for the restaurant. And here are a few more things I am thankful for...

...that you can't smell computer images.

...the my name is David and not Justin Bieber; you little stud.

...Vegetarians. It's more meat for the rest of us.

...Unanswered prayers. Especially what's-her-name I met at the bar in '79.

...that there's an exhaust fan in the bathroom.

...for my thumbs which I used ever since I got them.

...for Lady Gaga's household product outfits. I love red meat.

...Rock 'n Roll.

...people who have the wrong politics. Just kidding.

...that the  ambulance is still faster then a pizza delivery.

...that psychics don't win lotteries any more often than I do.

...when cows laugh milk doesn't come out their noses.

...that I can buy spring water all year 'round.

...that all the words in the dictionary are correctly spelled.

Tell us what you are thankful for. 

Thanks for all the votes and comments; with 4 in the Top Blog list this week, I am amazed at your support.

If you believe in God, be blessed, if not Happy Thanksgiving. And if you are not from the US, get to the gym, will ya! David

115 votes + -


emilydmac wrote 121 months ago:
This is fabulous David!! "...that psychics don't win lotteries any more often than I do."

AEcklar813 wrote 121 months ago:
this is hilarious. I love that you're thankful for vegetarians because it's more meat for the rest of us =)

I am thankful for my woderful supportive family and also my gorgeous little princess of a daughter who is 2 years old. After losing my first pregnancy to miscarriage, I guess I can be thankful for temper tantrums (even if at the time it doesn't feel like I am).
grag79 wrote 121 months ago:
Very good.I am thankful for a very loving family and also for finding this site which has already turned my life around.xgx
lyngoode wrote 121 months ago:
I am thankful that me and my husband live next door to each other so that I don't have to worry about the toilet seat being up in the middle of the night. lol
rblair_22 wrote 121 months ago:
Awesome Blog!!

I am thankful that my mother is still willing to cook Thanksgiving dinner so that I don't have to!
kardowling wrote 121 months ago:
Happy Thanksgiving.. I don't cook it anymore either. People are way too picky...I ended up making 4 types of stuffing, 3 types of potatos, a turkey plust a turkey breast and a to-furkey...I am THANKFUL that I am not cooking...My friends and family are probably happy too :)
aliciagetshealthy wrote 121 months ago:
Terrific blog David! Since I am the one cooking, I'm thankful for large kitchens and extra helping hands =)
Hoppymom wrote 121 months ago:
OMG! LOL LOL LOL! You are hysterical. Cow...laugh...milk....noses...hahahahahahah
Sorry, almost a farm girl a long time ago. (Gandparents, uncles etc. Many hours visiting)I just had this visual.....!
The dictionary one had me laughing too.
STARSHINE1975 wrote 121 months ago:
I'm thankful that I only have to bring a veggie platter. No cooking!
staroftheeast wrote 121 months ago:
I am thankful for every day God gives me. I am also thankful for my husband, family, friends, coworkers, my fur "kids" (even when they aren't as well behaved as they've been trained) & of course for my MFP family. I appreciate all the friendship & support I've received here. God Bless you & your family, David. Happy Thanksgiving.
nofatvw wrote 121 months ago:
I seriously needed a belly laugh today.... and baby, I got the buddha belly! Lol!!!
Enjoy your holiday!
I am thankful for laughter....
jak111 wrote 121 months ago:
I am thankful for the great laugh you gave us again today! It really helps lighten the mood and really gives me incentive to keep going on this journey with all of you!

I am thankful for MFP - it has really helped me and will continue to do so.

I am thankful for my family and friends and good health and of course - no snow for at least this holiday and hey, maybe we can even be outside part of the day- it is suppose to get up to 50+ on Thursday! :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone - where ever you are, where ever you are going, I wish you all the fun with your family and friends and that safety surrounds you all in your travels on this holiday.
Mios3 wrote 121 months ago:
I am thankful that at least 1 of my 2 vehicles is finally running again, and it's the one with the heater:) Also thankful that I have the most amazing husband ever!! I am thankful that all 3 of my kids are healthy. Oh and lastly thankful I finally have clothes that fit again.
AI1108 wrote 121 months ago:
haha that was cute.

I'm thankful for.. family&friends and for actually being able to make a living in this economy .. oh and of course for chocolate =P
deadstarsunburn wrote 121 months ago:
We ate at a casino buffet last year, it was YUMMY. Have a great thanksgiving. I loved what you were thankful for =]
SugarNtheRaw wrote 121 months ago:
I'm thankful that I don't have to deal with my family's crazy drama this year, and a whole bunch of nit-picky children that won't eat anything other than the desserts. Also, I am not cooking this year, so I'm thankful that I won't be doing dishes.
afrazier128 wrote 121 months ago:
I am cooking/baking again this year, but am thankful two of my step-children are coming to join my hubby, daughter, and me. I am working to reduce calories and fat in as many of the dishes/desserts as possible (I think all of them). I am also thankful for the support on MFP, cause I could really go off the deep-end without it!

Great blog, David; you always put a smile on my face!
cygnetpro wrote 121 months ago:
I'm thankful to be alive after a vicious bout of cancer a year ago. I'm thankful that my children are happy, smart, well-adjusted, and two of the funniest people I know. I'm thankful that my parents are still alive and healthy. I'm thankful that I have a nice home, wonderful neighbors, and a good job. I'm thankful for my education, which allows me to always keep my options open. I'm thankful for an upcoming six day weekend. :-D
annabellj wrote 121 months ago:
Love your blog as usual! I am thankful that the car accident didnt do more damage and that I didnt break anything. I am thankful that I get to cook for my family and friends. I am thankful that the cancer was treatable. I am thankful for friends like you and all my other friends on mfp which I would have given up by now without.I am so thankful to God for everything in my life right now that I teary eyed just thinking about it!
iAMaPhoenix wrote 121 months ago:
I am thankful I can say I am not FROM the US...I am still here in the greatest country on earth, in spite of the
getyupcowgirl wrote 121 months ago:
Thank you so much for the good laugh! I am thankful everyday for my kids and that I have a great job that I love! I am thankful for having this wonderful website that has helped me beyond measure!
GTOgirl1969 wrote 121 months ago:
I'm thankful for my kids, and all the experiences I've had, both good and bad, because without them I wouldn't be the person I am today. I want to wish you all a happy and blessed Thanksgiving.
odditblue wrote 121 months ago:
Amazing as always! Rock on!!!
fgjm wrote 121 months ago:
Nice light humor! Must be more than helpful, you actually should use the dictionary ;) I am thankful that I have 365 days (sometimes 366!) to be thankful for this gift of life.
I am thankful that I can dedicate life to me and my body instead of anybody else's life, though I had to be alone to do it :(
xashleemarie wrote 121 months ago:
i thankful for vegetarians for not killing animals...

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