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What Doesn't Kill You...

I work hard on being positive. Yesterday was just one of those days in which I got myself into a bit of a funk. Chronic pain triggers cortisol which assists with weight gain and that sort of thing. It also triggers adrenaline. For me, it has shortened my sleep cycle to about 6 hours. My body is always on the edge.

It also contributes to the lack of focus.

Normally I am task oriented, focusing on one task until it is done. All this chronic pain makes it hard to focus and finish much of anything. Because I am a finisher, it is really hard to let go of unfinished work. Which brings me to my cardiology appointment. 

Behind that smile, Dr. Sourbeer - AKA Amber, had some hard news for me.

They are requiring me to lose 20 pounds. I will be enrolled in a diet class specifically for old fat guys. Truthfully, it is not that I haven't been trying. I have cut calories to 1600 a day. My breakfast is 320 calories, my snacks are 200, lunch is 400 (protein shake) and dinner is 400-500, plus my Ghirardelli squares.

I am also having trouble getting in steps.

For years, I averaged 15,000 to 20,000 steps a day. Then you can add to that running. Hell, the Berlin Marathon I got in 72,000 for a single day. Now, I am averaging about 3,000 a day including running.

The good news is I can go to the gym and lift light weights after they let me out of the dungeon.

What's the dungeon, you ask? Yesterday I had some pre-cancerous carcinomas and melanoma treated. It's pretty ugly. Sort of like an interrogation from WW II. First you get you get your face painted with battery acid.

Before flipping the switch to the surround sound heat/search lamp, you get a pair of Bono complimentary sunglasses.

The pain of the room temperature battery acid isn't hot enough, therefore they bring it to a rolling boil right there on your face. Once that is done you have to wear your flying nun coronet with dark glasses to get to the car.

Then you are banished to the dungeon for 48 hours.

I am not sure what the dungeon punishment is supposed to correct - however I could easily slay a dragon on the way to the refrigerator. I can't even go in a room with overhead lights. I tried to join in the dinner making with my wife last night, but my face caught on fire.

Today I am trying to do more than stare at the ceiling fan.

I am not sure I will be outside too much this week. Sunscreen is about $225 per gallon. My new boat sits in the slip waiting for me to cast off the lines. Oh yeah, and I would like to be running, too. I am trying to keep going with that. It's my antidepressant.

I have managed a couple of 5Ks and a 10k, lately.

The headache update is as follows. I am seeing a surgeon to get a second opinion on the nerve decompression surgery in a few weeks. First, I need to see if the dry needling and Botox offer any relief. I have also been doing cold laser and traction.

For today, I all I have to say is, whatever doesn't kill you, still sucks.

Thanks for the votes, comments and friend requests. 

47 votes + -

15 comments:

kendallvon wrote 23 months ago:
There are days I definitely agree with you. Living with progressive chronic illness sucks monkey balls, but one foot in front of the other--"and soon you are walking out the door!" Know that I am in your corner, and that I know you can conquer this-- *your* way. All the best to you and your lovely bride.
bluesrockerman wrote 23 months ago:
Hang in there man! You've been through more than a dozen people go through. You are a unique individual and have been truly inspirational to so many of us. Prayers for you and yours!!
farmboyphotography wrote 23 months ago:

I'm not sure how you can find the strength for humor in the face of so many challenges. Yet, you do find it with great wit and just enough sardonicism to season your writing for added flavor without any extra calories. In a community of folks trying to reach their fitness utopia without tripping over the boxes of donuts, we need you. Strength and honor. You've got it!
megamom wrote 23 months ago:
You have been through the wringer in lately, one thing after another. I hope you come through to the other side soon. I had several years when I had surgery after surgery, I never seemed to recover until another one came up, and skin cancer, so far I have had about 20 removed. None melanoma yet, yet. I kept plugging away and worked out when I was able and ate healthy when I wasn't depressed and finally I think I am out the other side, healthier then I have ever been and only one surgery looming on the horizon. You sense of humor will save you if you can keep a positive outlook. I always remind myself other people are much worse off then me. You can do. Course I work in the hospital and see daily reminders of how lucky I am. You are in them often enough to know that also. Good luck.
pizzafruit wrote 23 months ago:
During treatment I was not able to mainain a sense of humor as much as I should have. I eventually realized my attitude played such a huge role in my recovery. I admire your willingness to share and inspire. Thanks for showing us how to face and overcome the setback.
Anonymous wrote 23 months ago:
Always impactful! You are amazing and always see humor and keep things light. You inspire so many!
Leah
goodasgoldilox165 wrote 23 months ago:
Laughter adds nothing to the step count but burns calories :)

(I wonder how many calories you have helped other people burn?)

Laura80111 wrote 23 months ago:
You are one STRONG person. All that you have gone through to get to better health is truly amazing. I'm always laughing when I read your blog. Thanks for my smile of the day although I'm sure with your pain you aren't smiling as much as the rest of us. Take care and let the healing continue.
Anonymous wrote 23 months ago:
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Debbie552016 wrote 22 months ago:
I feel your pain. I, too, have chronic pain. I initially lost 66 pounds with my fitness as i was having hip surgery and then thoracic spine fusion. I have managed to gain back weight and am frustrated. I know weight loss is a life style, but i also love to cook and bake. Why was i given this talent!!! Anyway, one day at a time. I have decided that i need to be very strict and i find that i cant eat all of my activity calories if i plan to lose. I’m back at it. Got myself an air fryer and am learning his way of cooking. Just hang in there!
kthypear wrote 22 months ago:
Your story is heart breaking, you are very vivid describing your pain. Good Speed be with you. ❤️
Anonymous wrote 21 months ago:
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or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346



i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346
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