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Week One, Starting Over

I made a commitment to get going on a healthy lifestyle again. It has been a week. Except for the wedding on Saturday, I have been doing pretty well. You know, I am easing in to it.

I am caught in the place between doing what I am supposed to and not seeing much in the way of results.

Because I am not new to this, I am not delusional about how much work starting over is. I need to take care of my whole being, not just my body. I will say, when the body feels good, it's a lot easier to be emotionally and spiritually healthy.

Life in general isn't easy. It's just that some things are worth it.

Yesterday, I had a some nuts for breakfast. I had an apple at snack time, avocado and tomato salad with pineapple salsa (dressing) for lunch, and two small homemade chipotle shrimp tacos for dinner. Then there were a few strawberries for dessert.

It was a good food day.

I wish the effing MFP app worked better and I would probably log it. I'll get there. I am off to a good start. 2 cups of coffee and a some nuts for breakfast today. I am cutting out eggs, keeping the carbs low, and keeping flesh to a minimum. I need to lower my cholesterol and blood sugar.

So far things are better in the blood work department.

I am still running. It is just three miles, three times a week. I am the slowest I have ever been since I started running in 2011, post congestive heart failure. A 14 minute mile is still a mile. Who knows if I will be back to running 21 minute 5Ks. 

In my mind, I am still am.

I have started back to lifting weights, too. It started with recovering my shoulder after surgery in March. I have added some new exercises. Just simple stuff like curls, reverse curls, flies, and presses.

I should look like the Hulk by 2090.

Spiritually things are pretty good. I haven't found a new church that fits me, yet. For now, I keep looking, pray, and find a lot of peace being out on the water in the boat. I have been in contact with some of my faith friends from various places; their phone calls keep me going.

I am right where I am supposed to be for this season.

Creatively, I am writing and playing guitar. It is frustrating, but I am doing it 15 or 20 minutes a few times a week. I am using my brain and spirit to capture moments from my imagination.

It is probably a good thing it is just a few moments.... 

Emotionally, it has been a lot tougher. I really did intend to be 100% after neurosurgery. There have been a few tears. I wrote this yesterday.

"This has been my life since I woke up August 13, 2018. I have had 4 ER visits, a pile of steroids, painkillers, pain relievers, Botox, anticonvulsants, chiropractic care, PT, dry needling, massage, 3 spinal injections, and 2 major surgeries since March. I have seen 6 neurologists, 2 neurosurgeons, an ENT, an oral surgeon, a physiatrist, and a PCP; totaling over 100 appointments.

Surgery has reduced my pain from virtually nauseating and unbearable to mildly debilitating. The nerve damage was severe enough that it could take another year or even two to get the maximum benefit - or possibly not.

It’s always easier when you can take a drug or have a procedure and be well in a few weeks time. Chronic pain is sometimes invisible to even the most educated. If you see me out and around, it’s because I am handling it."

33 votes + -


Anonymous wrote 34 months ago:
I am starting over, too. My reasons are totally different. So don't want to imply I understand what you're going through, just thought it might help to know I have gained all my weight back and more. I'm at my all time highest weight. And have less motivation, self discipline, and energy. I reached a dangerous state of mind - and it's "I don't care".BUT...your commitment to start over has inspired try. Thank you. I need to do this. Not just for me, but for my family. ~Mowree
kendallvon wrote 34 months ago:
You and Mowree made me cry. Blessings and Healing wishes for both of you.
kdbulger wrote 34 months ago:
Solidarity - I'm starting fresh as well. Just starting to build back distance to my running, and eating like a person who doesn't hate herself again.

Small steps. Caring for the whole you. It's how you get to success.
Anonymous wrote 34 months ago:
Having the strength to start again is awesome, you guys...don't waste it...i..
BexB42 wrote 34 months ago:
Still in your corner, though mainly have to stay in my own. I am turning 47 this November and I had set an unrealistic goal for myself. I am now realizing that the weight is SO much easier to put on... I am still enjoying your blog and hope you find a church or spiritual home. A friend of mine uses a local church close to her denomination but says it isn't home, just a guest cottage she appreciates. I myself stopped relating to my own church when the ministry changed, so I am just missing the community the most. Online streaming of services is an idea just to have something. Good to see you on here!
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