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Twisted Inspirational Quotes for Weight-Losers!

When I read the wisdom of the ages, I can't help but have my own thoughts - how scary is that? 
 
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My behind lies behind me, because of what I put within me." - DSJohndrow

"My life is my message." - Mahatma Gandhi

"My Food Diary is my message." - DSJohndrow

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - James M. Barrie

"Those who bring donuts into the break room of others cannot live another minute." - DSJohndrow 

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer

"Diet is not the key to happiness. Calorie counting is the key to success. If you love what you are NOT eating, you will be successful." - DSJohndrow

"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." - Rabindranath Tagore

"The MFP-er counts not months but calories, and has more than enough to worry about." - DSJohndrow

"The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense." - Thomas A. Edison

"The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, logging calories; second, cardiovascular exercise; third, common sense." - DSJohndrow

"The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss." - Thomas Carlyle

"The tragedy of dieting is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they eat." - DSJohndrow

"Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time." - Viktor E. Frankl

"Live as if you were healthy, it might work."  - DSJohndrow

"The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed." - Eminem

"The truth is this: if you don't know what you are going to eat tomorrow, you might already be in trouble." - DSJohndrow

"Service is what life is all about." - Marian Edelman

"Logging calories is what life is all about." - DSJohndrow

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." - John Wayne

"Losing weight is hard; it's harder if you don't log or you're stupid." - DSJohndrow

"To be able to look back upon ones life in satisfaction, is to live twice" - Khalil Gibran

"To be able to look back and not see a caboose is satisfaction." - DSJohndrow

"Life is a little gleam of time between two eternities. " - Thomas Carlyle

"Life is a little snack of between two meals. " - DSJohndrow

"In three words I can sum up what I've learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost

"In three words I can sum up what I've learned on MFP: Log your meals!" - DSJohndrow

"The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing." - Marcus Aurelius

"The art of losing weight is more like wrestling King Kong." - DSJohndrow

"Growth is the only evidence of life." - John Henry

"Growth is not the only evidence of overeating." - DSJohndrow

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss

How can you improve on perfection?

Thanks for the votes and comments. Friend me at your own risk.

107 votes + -

21 comments:

neenaj33 wrote 120 months ago:
lol
lep_623 wrote 120 months ago:
I love this!!! Especially the fighting to lose weight is like fighting king knong!! :D lol that's amazing and I love that last Dr. Seuss Quote!! Great Blog once again!!
shivaslives wrote 120 months ago:
I'm confused. I thought your blog was your message. :-)
chedges9090 wrote 120 months ago:
fantastic! My favorite: "The truth is this: if you don't know what you are going to eat tomorrow, you might already be in trouble." - DSJohndrow
Thanks again for a great post!
sk2775 wrote 120 months ago:
Best on yet..this is awesome :-) Love it :-)
SmartFunGorgeous wrote 120 months ago:
You're such a hoot, but gotta admit, you're right about the perfection of the Dr. Seuss quote... now if only I can find my perfect crazy!
navygunner wrote 120 months ago:
must be the Vicodin LOL :-)
msqdpie wrote 120 months ago:
Clever!
staroftheeast wrote 120 months ago:
I have never been able to improve on any of Mr. Geisel's quote. Love that quote. The rest of the blog is a real giggle too.
Steph_135 wrote 120 months ago:
Nice... I liked:
"Live as if you were healthy, it might work."
and
"The truth is this: if you don't know what you are going to eat tomorrow, you might already be in trouble."
haldeman5 wrote 120 months ago:
awesome!
Mustangsally1000 wrote 120 months ago:
absolutely delightful!!
felicity866 wrote 120 months ago:
The tragedy of dieting is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they eat......definately food for thought....well done john!!
Hambone23 wrote 120 months ago:
"Never run from anything immortal. It attracts their attention." -- Peter S. Beagle
"Always run from anything chocolate. It'll attach to your thighs." -- Hambone23
DawnOf1969 wrote 120 months ago:

"Losing weight is hard; it's harder if you don't log or you're stupid." - DSJohndrow
Love it!!
Levi_Hansen wrote 120 months ago:
needs more cowbell
Hoppymom wrote 120 months ago:
He waxes philosophical.....for the win!!!! Great again!
cbirdso wrote 120 months ago:
Words of wisdom to help us on our journeys...through life and through MFP!
cubsgirlinny wrote 120 months ago:
:-)
LORRIE22 wrote 120 months ago:
HERE ARE A FEW MORE:

Reaching your goal does not make you invincible, but it comes close!

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Dale Carnegie

We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.
Maya Angelou

That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
Abraham Lincoln



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