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Today Is My Someday

Some days I don't really know about life. I have taken a few hits in the last couple of years. Back some years ago it took a year to complete Couch to 5K. Most of you know that I have cancer and I am working through the treatment options visiting different doctors.

Cancer sucks.

In the past 4 years, I have lost a few days worrying about cancer. :( Then I decided to live. I tried to make decisions that would make me look back and say, "I am glad I did that." They were health decisions, relational decisions and spiritual decisions.

I decided that today was "someday."

If I were to make a list of the crap that has gone down in the last few years I would probably shoot myself before I finished writing it. However, I am focusing on my progress not my history. I have lost almost 80 pounds and went from a wheezing-fat-old-guy to a slimmer, fitter runner who can knock out a marathon.

How does one live with cancer? You live life on purpose.

You plan to do things you were putting off, and put off things you were planning that don't get you to your goals (in my case planning my dreams). You say I love you more and get a second goodbye kiss. You look up friends you haven't seen in a while. You shut out the people that minimize your feelings by saying, "It's early, at least you won't die.", "My dad had that an he was fine." or "My uncle had that an he died."

When surgery has the potential to reduce your quality of life instead of make it better, it's not and easy option to choose.

As surgery looms on the horizon, I am not thrilled - not even close. It's not like my knee surgery or heart surgery which made my life better. It's not the same.

It's scary.

As a runner I have overcome a lot. Most of it was mental. I just didn't think I could do anything - not a mile, not a 5K, and certainly not a marathon! I even had medication and doctors opinions to bolster my excuses for not trying. I found a hundred reasons to quit, and only one to help me succeed: a better life. How I feel at the end of a run is the only reward I have. It's not the bling, the cheering, the personal accomplishments, no it's how I feel.

I made a goal of running the 6 World Major Marathons and 5 are in the books!

I remember when a 5K was about as daunting a run as I ever thought I could face. I ran it. I am pretty certain I will be taking my stupid tumor to the starting line of the Tokyo Marathon in March.

I really can't wait!

For today, I am eating well, flossing my teeth, engaging my wife and kids, working, praying, and living in the moment. Tomorrow may never come, and I don't know if I've "got this". I don't know if I will win against the Big-C or not. I just know that I am looking forward to being with Ruth, hugging my kids, catching a little sunshine, making a co-worked smile, and letting the things of God swirl around in my spirit.

Ruth and I have decided to risk it all to move to a place where we can live out our last days. We should know this week.

In the mean time, I have I am looking forward to today. There will be running, coffee, sunshine, kisses from my bride, phone calls with the kids, and maybe I'll call a friend to say hello.

This is the day I was always waiting for!

91 votes + -

22 comments:

kathywilcox9 wrote 51 months ago:
I was a teacher for part of my career and gave IQ tests on a yearly basis. The problem with IQ is it does not measure spirit. You seem to have a great spirit. It propels you forward with gusto. A few years back, I went with my husband, who has a defibrillator/ pacemaker to his electrocardiologist. I pulled her aside and asked what was Phil's life expectancy with his type of disease. She said he could live for years or drop dead at any time. Without missing a beat, I said: "like the rest of us." We are not promised so many days/hours/minutes, but we are promised God will be with us. You remind me of a verse Paul wrote: 2 Timothy 4:7--I have done my best in the race, I have run the full distance, and I have kept the faith. Good for you. I just read some of your blogs yesterday and then this today. Keep on keeping on.
barneshall wrote 51 months ago:
You are an inspiration to all of us. To live in the moment does not come easily to many people. Keep going forward and enjoy every moment you have...
jzynanja wrote 51 months ago:
Your consistency and dedication to moving forward, living for today and embracing everything and everyone you love is inspiring. Thank you for all of your posts. I'm new to your blog, but I plan on doing a lot of reading. May God continue to richly bless you as you persevere and embrace the beautiful life He has given you with your wife and your children.
hroderick wrote 51 months ago:
I had surgery for prostate cancer 3 months ago and life is different but not as bad as I'd feared going in. I had everyone I knew and many I didn't praying for me. The doctor said surgery would be easier on both of us if I lost 30lb before surgery, so I lost 40 and now down 72 with goal of 150.

Besides getting new smaller clothes, looking good, feeling great and having 6 weeks off work...every day is more valued, our love and bond is stronger than ever in 40 years and there's now inexpensive generic viagra.

Send me a friend request if a buddy could help
RMKFBFP18 wrote 51 months ago:
Thank you
Laura80111 wrote 51 months ago:
It always was and always will be how you decide to approach your life and you have made a wonderful choice and I'm so glad you are sharing it with us.

Once again very inspiring.
lorrainequiche59 wrote 51 months ago:
HUGS!! You can never have too many. Hoping the best for you. You definitely have a great attitude!! Your family is very fortunate to have you in it.
Aplant77 wrote 51 months ago:
A great reminder for everyone - no matter what their health status is. Thanks!
toxicslix wrote 51 months ago:
I loved your inspiring story! Sending you my positive thoughts and energy! I've had some non-medical setbacks as well. I have some friends with some medical issues that have developed as a result of being bad eaters and lack of excercise.

That was my wake up call. When I turned 50 last year, I joined a kick boxing class and started working out with a few of my co-workers at the local leisure centre. I too don't want to be that "fat old guy". Most are surprised I'm 50, so I want to keep it that way!

Feel free to send me a friend request! I would be glad to have positive inspiring people as a friend!
LeeshaSeal wrote 51 months ago:
You're giving the best of you to your family and they will always cherish that. Better yet, you're giving the best of you to you! Don't look back.
como_agua wrote 51 months ago:
you are an inspiration. i also have cancer *stage four lymphoma* you're kicking C in the A$$ and i'm happy for you. keep on keeping on brother!!
Anonymous wrote 51 months ago:
Your writing touched me. God bless
babydee543 wrote 51 months ago:
John, with everything you’ve gone through, and are still going through, you somehow manage to stay strong for yourself & your family. You do it in style and with humour, all the while encouraging the worldwide community and spurring us on to be better versions of ourselves. Thank you so much for everything you do that gives us strength, faith, belief and self-worth. We’re all here for you, praying and cheering you on in your amazing journey.

All the very best in Tokyo next March!
hopiemama33 wrote 50 months ago:
Ilove your spirit.
1theresamcvean wrote 50 months ago:
Thanks for another very personal blog. This one affected me the most of all of yours so far. When you share yourself so fully, you help others so much. I can't wait to hear where you and Ruth are going - if not this time then at the next opportunity.
pizzafruit wrote 50 months ago:
I love your posts;I have never finished reading one and not taken the time to sit quietly and reflect. You've brought a smile to my face and often times a lump in my throat; sometimes I have to stop and wait for the tears to clear before I continue reading. (I'll be right back, I have to dry my eyes and blow my nose.) Thank you for your insight, kindness, faith, and humor. Although we've never met, thank you for extending your hand in friendship. I look forward to your continued inspiration. You are a blessing.
t66jackie wrote 50 months ago:
Thank you for your inspirational writing. It has reminded me to be present in the here and now! To take advantage of the relationships in my life and savour them. Tomorrow is not guaranteed but today is here now, why not be here with it :) hugs
LisaPrust wrote 50 months ago:
I can't thank you enough for your transparency and sharing your real life struggles and victories with all of your MFPals! We are for your success in every way and are rooting for you to live long with your new bride and continue to inspire those in your sphere of influence. Thanks for all you do to encourage so many of us! xoxox
kdbulger wrote 50 months ago:
Intensely moving - I thank you for sharing with your MFP community. I'm sending my blessings and healing energy to help as they may.
allisonlane161 wrote 50 months ago:
I don't know whether you've "got this" or not, or how things will turn out for you. But going from couch to multiple marathons, being so reasoned, logical, and realistic, makes me think that if will power, determination, and a grand spirit have anything to do with overcoming health issues, then you will win. Thanks for chronicling all of this. I look forward to your writings.
lordhobbs wrote 50 months ago:
Just remember that in the near future, this will be gone for good. Luke 33:24 (KJV) "And the inhabitant shall not say, I am sick..."
Anonymous wrote 2 months ago:
I suffered from what they called peripheral artery disease (PAD). I have been suffering for years, Me and my wife searched for a medical cure, and then we came across a testimony of a man who suffered the same and was cured by Dr Chief Lucky. So my wife and I contacted Dr Chief Lucky via an email and thank God he replied. I explained what was wrong and he sent me herbal medicines that helped heal me completely. I am happy to say that herbal medicine is the ultimate and Dr Chief Lucky I am grateful. You can contact him on his email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or whatsapp: +2348132777335, Facebook page http://facebook.com/chiefdrlucky or website https://chiefdrlucky.com/. He said that he also specializes in the following diseases: ALS, CANCER, HPV, HERPES, DIABETES, HEPATITIS B, HIV, And more.

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