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The Perfect Scale for Weighing In!

Part of the game here on MFP is to weigh in. There are discussions as to how often, what brand of scale to buy, and even the most favorable conditions to weigh in under (I wrote that!) Today I was thinking about the best scale for weighing in. Why? My friend CessnaHolly has again come up with a gem of a topic and caused this disturbed mind to spring in to action.

So what is the best scale to use? Here are my thoughts.

The Muscle Scale - Goes higher when you flex in the mirror while standing on it.

The Fickle Scale - Continues to flash different weights as you watch it. The trick is stepping off at the lowest one.

The Shower Scale - It shows a lower weight before the dirt and navel lint are gone. It's confusing.

The DUH Scale - Reminds you that it is your TOM, you ate too much during the holidays, or you haven't used the rest room.

The Moveable Scale - It gives different readings depending on where it is on the bathroom floor. Unfortunately the "sweet spot" is underneath the toilet and requires standing on one foot.

The Dirty Harry Scale - Makes your day, or you get to shoot it with a .44 magnum.

The Family Scale - Weighs the kids perfectly every time. You - not so much. CessnaHolly

The Talking Scale - Designed for the visually impaired and people who have met their goal weight. Everyone else kicks it.

The Political Scale - Tells you what you want to hear, but has nothing to do with the facts.

The Mission Impossible Scale - Actually there is no such thing. But if there was, it would self-destruct whenever it gives you an undesirable weigh in.

The James Bond Scale - Gives you tantalizing weight reports and then turns deadly in scene 2 followed by a car chase.

The Cracker Jacks Scale - Rewards your weight loss with a prize.

The Horoscope Scale - Like the fortune cookie scale with better English.

The Doctor's Scale - Creates a new excuse while you wait.

The TMI Scale - Tells you why you weigh whatever is you weigh. "Geeze David, you ate at a Taco Bell again. Not only does it smell bad in here, you gained 2 pounds since your last weigh in."

The CSI Scale - Plays back your weight and whatever you said while reading your weight from the scale with Gil Grissom's voice.

The TBC Scale - The highest weight on the scale is "To Be Continued."

The New England Patriots Scale - Records an occasional loss to the Giants, but encourages you to do better next time.

The Summa Wrestler Scale - Starts at 300 lbs. and throws you to the bathroom floor if you lose weight.

The Musical Scale - Do - re - mi - fa - so - la - te - do - 199.

The Gym Scale - Always shows you weigh more than the home scale - oh right, because you are not naked.

The M-F Scale - Actually all of the above depending on the day.

Did I miss any?

Thanks for the votes and comments!

Friend me at your own risk.

116 votes + -


kardowling wrote 118 months ago:
I have a moveable scale! Records body fat and yes,it is different when on different areas of my floor. Gotta step on it Slowly! Great post!
Hoppymom wrote 118 months ago:
Thanks for injecting some silliness into the day!
baypathgradLyns wrote 118 months ago:
very cute :)
MetalEllie wrote 118 months ago:
how about one that records a loss when you suck your tummy in?! I do that sometimes and I've no idea why lol
Mustangsally1000 wrote 118 months ago:
It's the dirty harry scale for me!!! Boom!
Nicki1984 wrote 118 months ago:
hahaha love it!
anulle2009 wrote 118 months ago:
HAHAH I have the moveable scale!
kirstiey wrote 118 months ago:
I tried the gym scale naked....they threw me out....
healthysuze wrote 118 months ago:
I have a different take on the Talking Scale. As you step on it a pleasant, soothing voice says..."It doesn't matter how much you weigh today, my dear. You're working hard, you're wearing your ideal clothes size, and you feel great. And by the way, your ass looks fantastic".
dsjohndrow wrote 118 months ago:
@Whitey! Yes!

@Suze - LOL - I need one of those!
bllowry wrote 118 months ago:
Mine used to say 'Holy crap get off me'! Until I threw it in the bin ;)
cantjustcant wrote 118 months ago:
I think I love healthysuze!
cdspark wrote 118 months ago:
That was awesome - I have scale issues!
Hoakiebs wrote 118 months ago:
I de finitely have the fickle scale while my doctors all have the gym scale
odditblue wrote 118 months ago:
The Texas scale, weighs you in numbers of an order of brisket. You weigh 159 orders of sliced brisket! That's 130 orders of chopped!
DEEDLYNN wrote 118 months ago:
Whammy Scale... Big bucks Big Bucks no WHAMMY's. Then showers you with popcorn while a little gremlin puffs up the number. :)
MommyTKD wrote 118 months ago:
The Black Belt scale.... measures your weight and kicks your butt if you gain... ;)
JustLindaLou wrote 118 months ago:
My talking scale said "one at a time please".... so it became the Dirty Harry scale.... blammo!!!!!
kauaibaby wrote 118 months ago:
OMG That is incredibly true!!! I love it!!! I own a shower scale apparently...
norma67 wrote 118 months ago:
Oh my goodness I love it!!!!!! I have the moveable scale lol
Morgori wrote 118 months ago:
"The New England Patriots Scale - Records an occasional loss to the Giants, but encourages you to do better next time." ROTFLMAO!!!

stacyjbaker1010 wrote 118 months ago:
This is my favorite:
The Fickle Scale - Continues to flash different weights as you watch it. The trick is stepping off at the lowest one.

grumpy2day wrote 118 months ago:
How about the "I can't make up my mind scale" that gives you a different weight every time you step on it (get off then get on, get off then on at least 5 times)lol.
ramsesmeza wrote 118 months ago:
LOL! its funny, cause its true.
my gym scale tells me im like 5 pounds fatter.
I have two home scales, one is digital and the other one isnt.
One time, after one night out in wich i drank too much, i said i had lost 5 pounds, the next day after working my ass off for about 3 hours, it said I gained 5 pounds. EFF IT.

Best way to know if you're on the right track? your clothes. nothings is more satisfying than your clothes being looser and looser every week.
jfrog123 wrote 118 months ago:
I don't kick my talking scale - as long as her numbers keep moving in the right direction, lol!
saphfireangel wrote 118 months ago:
There are tons of days where I have the movable scale and EVERYday I think I have the TMI scale stupid thing. Although I do like Suze's scale and want to know where I can get one of those. Lie to me lmao!!!
superdoof wrote 118 months ago:
moveable scale, mine complains when it is moved by adding 3-4lbs (once it added 10) I simply stand off, have a cry, stand back on it and hey presto :-)

It worries me though, what if the first weight after it's moved is right, and the scale feels bad because it made me cry so tries it's hardest to remember what it said last time it was there......?
emmfullness wrote 118 months ago:
I want the DUH! scale. You've no idea how many times I've gone through a day feeling like a fat failure when I realized out of no where what time of the month it was. hahaha
SixCatFaerie wrote 118 months ago:
I want a combo "Duh" & "CSI" scale! If my scale is going to remind me of anything it can definitely do it in Gil Grissom's voice! Ha!

Love it!
SixCatFaerie wrote 118 months ago:
Could throw a little bit of the Dirty Harry scale in there too!
Amayrial wrote 118 months ago:
Being from Boston I almost expected something witty about the sox... :)

cute post.
felicity866 wrote 118 months ago:
i know i owned the movable scale...never found the sweet spot!!
holly7698 wrote 118 months ago:
I just started "My Fitness Pal" yesterday and read this post today. It was very uplifting. I just want to get to the point when I stand on the WII board it doesn't go "OOOO". Now that a way to measure your progress. LOL As far as the scale we are not very good friends. But once a week will do.
louisau wrote 118 months ago:
Mine is a combo fickle-movable scale.
And I hate gym/doctors scale - always at least 2Kg (4.5lbs) more than mine.

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