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The Dog Didn't Eat It - Excuses for Overeating

Is it me, or just the posts that I happen to read? I have read some pretty creative excuses for falling off the wagon, overeating and not succeeding at learning to eat healthy and exercise 3 times a week.

Here are some of my favorites – and oh yeah, I’ve used ‘em too!

I Have Slow Metabolism: Right, and if your body was a car, it would be in reverse. Personally, mine hit a speed bump at age 40 and broke the steering column.

My Parents didn’t Teach me How to Eat: Are you kidding, have you looked in the mirror? You are probably good at eating, in fact very good! For God’s sake, birds manage to get south.

It’s the Holidays! The Bermuda Triangle: Thanksgiving Christmas and New Years. (Or Memorial Day, the 4th and Labor Day.) Flag Day, the dog’s birthday. There are lots of holidays!

It’s Vacation: One of my personal favorites, lots of eating out, and lying around (actually that sounds more like work too). Staying in the hospital is not a vacation.

I Don’t Like Healthy Food: Let me know when the pity party is over. Trust me; you are not going to like heart failure either.

It’s Emotional: WTH? It’s food, nothing else.

I Can Eat Anything I Want! Apparently.

I’ll Start Over Tomorrow: It’s here, now what?

Water Makes Me Gag! Well, it’s a good thing you are not a dolphin, I guess.

I Have Bad Knees (bad ankles, bad hips, bad a$$): From here it looks like they can get you back and forth from the store, the bathroom and the refrigerator.

How about you, can you share some your most creative excuses for staying the way you were?

Disclaimer: Look, there are people who have legitimate medical reasons for being where they are. However; if you can get out of bed, you can probably begin to exercise. Seeing as diet is probably 80% of weight loss, you can make better choices.

116 votes + -

61 comments:

peddlepusher wrote 134 months ago:
my step-sister says she has a thyroid problem, but when I asked her where her thyroid is she pointed to her belly haha (its in your neck for people who don't know)
skinnyme47 wrote 134 months ago:
Great stuff. :)
dumb_blondes_rock wrote 134 months ago:
I do understand the emotional eating.....its a bad habit that you just have to replace with a healthy one....if you get pissed, or sad, go to a punching bag.
As far as bad knees go....the dr told me swimming and elliptical are the best for bad knees....I actually have a bone disease, and i still do my 3.0-3.5 pace on the treadmill for 30 mins...so i don't want to hear anymore about that. Also, your knees/ankles wouldnt' hurt so much if you lost some weight. The only excuse you have for not exercising with bad knees/ankles is if you JUST got out of surgery and it has to heal.
psuedodragon wrote 134 months ago:
An excuse I use sometimes (though I've been trying not too!) is "I wrecked my diet yesterday, so today doesn't matter"

Another 'fun' excuse I hear stems from a myth I think a lot of people heard when they were younger. "The body can only absorb so many calories in one sitting, so after I hit that point I can eat as much as I want"
dsjohndrow wrote 134 months ago:
@DBR - that's right, you get out there and you do it. I am off to see the knee surgeon(in like 5 minutes), and even when I can't run, I use the rope climb and light weights to kick up the cardio!
janet_pratt wrote 134 months ago:
Thanks for the laugh. Well put.
_SusieQ_ wrote 134 months ago:
"Water Makes Me Gag! Well, it’s a good thing you are not a dolphin, I guess." - my favorite!!!!

TonyCToday wrote 134 months ago:
"I've done so good today..." Then comes the pizza.
Lisa_222 wrote 134 months ago:
I forgot I was on a diet. I'm not joking. I start something and then forget to care. I love the little reminders you get on your mobile when you don't log a meal.
luvlite2 wrote 134 months ago:
This was the funniest "truth" I've ever heard. Thanks for the laugh and reality check for some folks. I concur!
GentlyLosing wrote 134 months ago:
The "H" word has been my biggest excuse....Hormones.....

SCARY!!!!!
SmartFunGorgeous wrote 134 months ago:
Good stuff here! My BIGGEST deterent has always been: "I don't want to." Yeah, not exactly an excuse, just the pathetic truth. I've also said "I've tried everything, and it's too hard to keep doing it for the rest of my life, and if I can't do it forever, then why bother trying at all?" TERRIBLE "logic." Horrific. I think I need to go blog now about how wretchedly wretched that is. :-p Definitely not my mentality any more! But truly, when I first began, changing my mentality was a gazillion times more difficult than changing my body.
thedreamhazer wrote 134 months ago:
*sigh* Someone in my life (who shall remain nameless) dropped her doctor prescribed diet after 1 week when her dog passed away. Given, it was very sad. But 3 weeks later when asked how her diet's going, she says, "The diet went out the window when my dog died."

I mean...really? You're obese. You want to die early because your dog did?
TourThePast wrote 134 months ago:
"I can't afford healthy food"

Really? You can certaily afford a LOT of whatever it is that you're eating right now!

"I can't cook"

Yeah, obviously if you can't cook, you can't eat healthily. It took me ages to boil last night's salad...
Qarol wrote 134 months ago:
I hate when people say, "I hate water." I want to say, "drink it anyway!"
Fairysoul wrote 134 months ago:
I hate when people say stress, I personally can't eat when I am stressed. By the way I think everyone is a little stressed all the time anyways..
KEN1013 wrote 134 months ago:
new to the site and after reading this,,,,think im at home now:)
NeuroticVirgo wrote 134 months ago:
good post!
lisapickering wrote 134 months ago:
Love it!! People have a million excuses and if they just spent some of that effort in a positive way they would be so much better off.

I love when people say "I don't have time to exercise"... really? North Americans watch tv on average, what 3 - 4 hours a day... and most of them are overweight.... hmmmm! Now, I love watching tv, but only after I workout.

I also enjoy the "I have bad knees" (or insert whatever body part) Of course you do, it's because you sit and do nothing all day and they're all seized up... if you used them they would feel so much better! (I know some people have serious injuries but those are only a few).

Oh, and one more "I've tried everything and nothing works"... again, really? Have you tried not eating so much and getting off your arse... cause that actually works.

Ok, I'm done... sorry for the rant but I HATE excuses! Yes, you need to make an effort but it can be done.
kmtetour wrote 134 months ago:
My knees have definitely been a deterrent for me, but I've found a lot of exercises I can do that don't strain them. I don't remember specific excuses from before I started, but I do know that, looking back, my ex-husband brought me a lot of crap food for dinner on his way home from work. I guess my excuse would have been "If he can eat it, so can I," but that's not necessarily true... obviously.
MKB83 wrote 134 months ago:
I agree with you have to make an effort, and the longer you eat healthy, the less you desire crap (your body even rejects it). And the "I don't like water" excuse is also a cop out, however I don't like soda. But, I must admit, I can understand the emotional eating one!
elysecea wrote 134 months ago:
Ha ha ha this is great!!!! I totally agree with all of these!!! No excuses people...get off your a$$ and fix it!
lindalou4850 wrote 134 months ago:
As my husband always says"Excuses are like A#s holes, everybody's got one."I think I have used every excuse in the book.Diet and exercise ,thats the only way to do it...
Hoppymom wrote 134 months ago:
I had a million. Bad back, knee surgery, arthritis, plantar faciitis, mild depression, too tired to drive to the gym after driving an hour home from work, I was going to..., got side tracked by my tv addiction. Turns out my gazelle fits in my living room right in view of the tv. My treadmill (currently broken) and elliptical fit in the laundry room where there is a tv! Turns out walking is free and right outside my door. The eating right thing hasn't been a much of problem since I made the change. I will do this. I won't make excuses.
beckyinma wrote 134 months ago:
My worst excuse back before I found MFP, "This is my body, my body type is hereditary, I can't do anything about it, so just accept that this is how I'm going to look forever, because I just don't care anymore." Seriously, pathetic. Then I gained another 7lb over the winter and saw my disgusting self in a picture with all my girl scouts and how bad I looked next to my co-leaders, one of which is not exactly a healthy weight either, but better than I was, and I was being such a bad example for these girls who will sooner than later have image issues. That was my last day at 215...Since finding MFP, I can't say it's been difficult, or painful, challenging at times for sure, but not hard. I can't believe I let myself get that way. Half way there and I feel better than I have in a while...
acas5 wrote 134 months ago:
My favorite....I have the binge portion down, just not the purge :)
Chastityx wrote 134 months ago:
I'm too busy reading posts on MFP to exercise
dez_yaoichan wrote 134 months ago:
my excuse for eating taco bell for lunch, and an all-you-can-eat taco bar dinner yesterday, and arbys for lunch today?

i wanted to lol. no other reason then that. sometimes i just want to pig out. but really, if you want to give into something, just give in, realize why you want to give, and move on. dont make excuses for pigging out bc all it'll do is allow you to do it again.
dsjohndrow wrote 134 months ago:
@LindaLou - I think your husband is a wise man. ;)

@Acas5 - LOL!
talzybob wrote 134 months ago:
i know you done your disclaimer and everyting but there IS such as a thing as a slow metabolism those of us who are seriously ill suffer with it. I am one of those who are seriously ill and are having serveral hospital treatments and am doped up to eye balls with pills etc wich affect my metabolism. so please rethink that one because there such a thing. just thought you should no that one. also my sister is perfectly healty but has a slow metabolism because we are IDENTICAL twins. work that one out


If your in the uk and living on a very low income you really cant afford to buy the healthy food if you go round half the shops the healthy food is twice the price as the rest or as one supermarket likes to do its always out of stock so you can get it any way.


jenilla1 wrote 134 months ago:
Bwahahahaha!
mamakathy wrote 134 months ago:
From a girl at work, "I can't afford a gym membership." However, she can afford the bags of candies at her desk, the artificial nails she has "done" every two weeks, the endless meals eating out. My response, "It doesn't cost a thing to walk outside everyday!"
kennie2 wrote 134 months ago:
Water does actually make me gag. Js
Squash ftw
TheresaRichardson wrote 134 months ago:
LOL Thank you for this post! These are great. Serves as a great reminder that I CHOSE to pig out today....and will choose healthy again!
dalgal26 wrote 134 months ago:
I suffer from overactive fork syndrome. ;)
dsjohndrow wrote 134 months ago:
@DG - LOL Yeah, I know that feeling!
dsjohndrow wrote 134 months ago:
@DG - LOL Yeah, I know that feeling!
Andiarena wrote 134 months ago:
I love this one..."I don't have time to constantly worry about food, and obsess over every little thing I eat" Ya, only problem, not eating 'little' things!
chedges9090 wrote 134 months ago:
OMG, I wish I was witty enough to add more !
These are all hilarious. Really! Great Great post.
Oh.. and I pretty much suffer from all of those excuses except Parents and Metabolism. Thanks for giving me those though, I will try one of them tomorrow.!!
christine_bennett wrote 134 months ago:
I once walked in on my sister eating a whole six pack of tunnocks tea cakes - her excuse? "I've been really good with my dieting and exercise today so I deserve it!" The funniest thing was that she said it completely seriously and got annoyed when I pissed myself laughing at her
NinjaMonkey201 wrote 134 months ago:
These are all Great! I heard one just recently... "You had a baby, not an excuse". I have used that excuse, myself. After I heard that, it really made me stop and think.
cycleholic wrote 134 months ago:
LOL - literally! Thank you so much for the post! I really needed that. Sometimes we forget to laugh :-)

@dalgal26 - I suffer from OFS - too funny
litelight wrote 134 months ago:
Mine...I hate to see all this good food go to waste!
cnsmith2 wrote 134 months ago:
As I listened to my knees creaking loudly... well mostly my right knee as I walked up the stairs last night, I started to think to myself that this was why I was having trouble finding motivation to exercise... and I was reminded of this post of yours....I need to remember that I should take can't and won't out of my language...and remember that where there is a will, there's a way...

Now... if someone could point in me in the direction of someone named Will, I'd be all set!
kwest_4_fitness wrote 134 months ago:
I always made excuses not to exercise. I’m too tired, I don’t feel good, my back (or some other body part) hurts, I have bad knees, I don’t like it when my fat bounces up and down, my boobs are sore, I have PMS.

Since April of this year, I haven’t used a single one of these excuses to prevent me from doing what I need to do. In fact, I’ve used a lot of them as inspiration to get off my ass. Knees and back don’t get better if I don’t lose weight. The “pain” of working out takes my mind off the pain of PMS. My endorphins will take me from feeling tire to feeling alive. And finally, getting healthy will help boost my immune system and help prevent colds and flu.

And when I get bored? I don’t sigh and bemoan the boringness of it all. I just find something else. Duh. Ha!!
InstantSunshine wrote 134 months ago:
To the person above who says if you're in the UK the supers sell unhealthy stuff more cheaply than healthy: I would suggest you check out www.mysupermarket.com.

This has just shown that a pound of carrots at Asda will cost you 36p. And that is quite a lot of healthy food for basically sod-all cash. And they will last ages, and do you good, and they are only one of many examples.

What you need to do is buy real food - commodities, not products. As soon as the basic item has been messed about with - in the case of carrots, that would be pre-sliced, or grated, or a dwarf breed sold as "baby", for example - they call that "value-added" and use it as an excuse to charge you more.

I fail to see how a packet of biscuits or crisps is better than that, or more affordable. Even the skankiest Asda Value multipack of ready salted crisps is 75p. That's more than double the carrots, and will last nowhere near as long, and will harm you in the process.

It's easier, and cheaper, to buy healthy food. I wish you the best.
CurvyFresherFC wrote 134 months ago:
Good blog! The water one about being a dolphin was funny - and yes, if people can make it to the biscuit tin in the pantry, or the fridge from the TV, then exercise won't hurt them! My favourite excuse for eating comfort food is that it's 'that time of the month' and I've been so good the apst few weeks - and then it all goes downhill ;) Thank you for sharing this us, I think a lot of people need home truths, including me! :)
MariaWalker70 wrote 134 months ago:
I agree we all make excuses it doesnt mean that none of them are valid to us! As human beings we all have our stories and baggage we carry with us in life. We need encouragment some more than others. I like the saying " Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes you can not judge me" Have I made excuses through out my roller coaster weight hystory? Absolutly! I have learned its a life long change and not just a temporary change to lose weight and go back to eating the way everyone else does LOL... I do beleive some of it is learned and inherited. Both my parents died young from being Obese. My father died at age 58 from the gasteric bipass 1 week after the surgery at 400 pounds. My mother died at 62 from congestive heart failure at 350 pounds. I still catch myself making excuses at times and I have been on a roller coaster this year. I have to chose if I want to live longer than them and how I want to teach my son better than I was taught. Its a daily battle that we all need to keep in check and be able to encourage one another. I have 30 pounds to lose to be where I want to be and than learn to stay there is the challenge. I hope instead of judging others when they make excuses we can help one another in this life long battle......
shamr0ck wrote 134 months ago:
Some people really don't give a shit. But yes, some of us have completely screwed up bodies that don't cooperate.

Everyone has to make their own choice about how they eat and how they exercise. No point in worrying yourself, or belittling them, about those choices.
hennasaunt wrote 134 months ago:
The older I get, I'm fond of saying -- I'm not 19 or 20 or _____anymore. You can't expect me to look the same as then. The old gray mare ain't what she used to be.

But then I think, the gray mare still needs to get around. I'm fond of a new way of thinking about aging, "functional fitness". (FF) You want to be able to walk in the mall, carry in food bags, climb up the stairs, even get off of the chair or even the toilet.

And loosing the weight helps achieve that goal. FF is the goal for me.
hanna1210 wrote 134 months ago:
I will admit I may have used one or two of these in the past. Thank you! Your commentary is fabulous!
skinimin wrote 134 months ago:
The one I used alllll the time is "it's not like I'm obese, so I can eat this block of chocolate, whole cake etc." yeah, not obese YET.
Dawn_is_getting_healthy wrote 134 months ago:
Not proud of this, but when starting a diet, I have been known to eat ridiculous amounts of chips, cookies, ice cream, etc., "to get them out of the house" so I won't be tempted by them. Crazy, I know. But I figured if I ate an entire pie, then it wouldn't be there the next day and therefore, I wouldn't eat anymore. Lame, lame, lame.
Newpilgrim wrote 134 months ago:
I love this one...I've heard people refer to it as "last supper eating" and I've definitely been guilty of that one!
penmosha wrote 134 months ago:
You are an absolute star!!! I love your blog, you really need to write more.

My fave.. someone I know says "I eat like a bird" - her waistline tells me that bird is a pelican
scsticchic wrote 134 months ago:
Oh wow. But I have a tendency of using the excuse " Well, I'm don't have a workout routine yet, so I don't have to eat healthy yet." Very vicious circle...lol!!
emilybeatrice1 wrote 134 months ago:
OMG!!!!!!!! I'm rolling laughing. Thank you for your blog. Ive literally heard all these excuses. yes, ive used a few myself.
fragilegift wrote 134 months ago:
excellent! I have long since learned that if the average one hour tv show has say, 5 x 3min ads, that is 15mins per hour to (in my case) walk up and down the steps at home.

Like dejohnsen I'm also guilty of the 'eat to get rid of it' excuse. Plus, I also think (vaguely) to myself, 'I'm going to eat it anyway, why not all at once'?
gaylelynnbell wrote 134 months ago:
"Healthy food is too expensive." I've heard it dozens of times. Anybody priced a pound of Oreos lately? I can buy a week's worth of salad fixings or bananas for what they cost. For the price of a 12-pack of soda, I can buy a gallon of milk or orange juice.

Of course, it IS expensive if you continue to buy junk and processed foods along with the healthy stuff. My grocery expenses have gone way down since I changed my eating and cooking habits. The biggest savings is because meat has become a side dish on my plate instead of the main course.
harleigh67 wrote 133 months ago:
you are awesome! Tell it like it is we would be great friends if we ever met, I make a lot of posts to friends on facebook and you never know what I will post making fun of life, but they all tell me to write a book and I would love too, may contact you in future for the chapter on dieting...lol
Anonymous wrote 73 months ago:
I love your blogs....I have decided to eat more vegetables: Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. So I will be eating more vegetables!

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