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Some Days I am So Pathetic

Once upon a time there lived a pathetic runner (that would be me). No matter how hard I try to be normal, I always do something to that is just ridiculous. For example, I tie my shoes to go for a run, and some how, as I stand up it turns out that I managed to include the lead for my headphones. I nearly tore my ears off. Then there were the hang tags I left on my new running clothes, falling off the treadmill at the YMCA and running down the street in my compression underwear and no shorts. More on those stories HERE.

God is merciful and each day is another chance to redeem myself. I usually fail.

I just started back to work after two lay offs in two years. Between work, a dead car and a couple of major snow storms, I missed a few runs. I got in 5 miles last Monday because work didn't have a computer for me and they let us go an hour early. I managed 3 more miles last Tuesday. There was darkness, and God called it night.

There is a lot of snow on the ground here in New England - maybe 2 feet or so (.7 m). If I remember correctly, my road actually has a sidewalk. I'm sure that it will reappear in the spring along with the disappearing dog poop in the dooryard.

I wear reflective gear and run facing traffic. The problem is there is too much traffic to choose from.

Starting out I thought it would be best to take the route into the center of my little town. That is where we keep our most treasured heirlooms: two traffic lights (one on each side of the intersection). I ran with my little flashlight, waving it at the 2-ton steel zombies while I screamed "please don't kill me!"

Out on the state road, I stood at the crosswalk like a New York hooker waiting for someone to stop and let me cross. I finally gave up and dodged a couple of trucks. Jumping the snow bank, I landed on the sidewalk using no other body parts than my feet. The truth be told, I expected much worse.
A pathetic runner victory.

Heading on down the sidewalk I found some wet patches... that turned to black ice. The water fooled me into thinking it was spring or even summer. I shortened up my cadence and slowed down to see if I could avoid launching over he guardrails into onto the frozen Blackstone River or scaling the snowbank on my belly like a penguin and gliding under an oncoming commuter.

I switched from crunchy snow to dry concrete and patches of ice as I trekked towards town. For the most part it was uneventful as I surveyed the pavement using ancient Mini-Mag. I passed the liquor store, the gas station and the bank before turning back.

I enjoyed a nice little groove on the way home. And then my flashlight started to fail. I did a facepalm as I remembered that I did not change the batteries when the clocks changed. Actually, I haven't changed them since the hurricane of '89.

I made it home and immediately started looking online for running lights.
The End

Thanks for the votes and comments.

68 votes + -


skinnyme47 wrote 100 months ago:
Another Great Blog! :-D
Sharon5913 wrote 100 months ago:
Love it. :)
Anonymous wrote 100 months ago:
lol, you need to find an indoor track before you get yourself killed !
caroldavison332 wrote 100 months ago:
I would run in place inside rather than acquire a long term injury running between ice and cars. If YOU can slip on the ice, so can cars, which might hit you. I think that you need to be more careful than you are documenting.

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