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Set Backs are Never the End

Have you ever felt defeated on this journey? The scale talking back, your favorite pants popped a button and took out a migrating sparrow, or worse, you have an injury and can't exercise!? Most of that has happened to me.

I started my fitness journey at just under 300 pounds. When I finally joined MFP I was 267.

My lowest was 197.2 and since then I gained some back. My lowest in the last yeas was 209. I have a few pairs of pants that don't fit like they should. I was down to 32" in the waist and now it's 34". I keep telling myself I should accept this, but I can't.

I need to require more of myself.

Sure I have dealt with a lot since I got to MFP. Hell, I started by having congestive heart failure; then I was diagnosed with cancer, not once, but four times! Some of it was removed and came back. I lost a couple of jobs due to layoffs and MFP folks helped me find new ones. And then there was the divorce. None if this is an excuse.

I still want to be healthy, fit, and under 200 pounds.

Every one knows I like running - I am the quintessential pathetic runner. If you search for "pathetic runner" on Google or Facebook, I will be there. Since I joined MFP I have run 87 races. Eight of those were full marathons, sixteen were half marathons, and the rest were shorter. I also ran across three states including: Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and half of New Hampshire.

Running makes me feel good and is a way for me to raise money for health related charities.

This past weekend I ran the Ashaland (MA) Half Marathon. Holy hills! If you are from the Midwest it's pretty unlikely that you've experienced hills like this. They just kept coming. There were six major peaks and a bajillion little ones.

Oh yeah, I am feeling all bad@$$ after that run.

I was also nursing a very sore left knee and the outside of my right foot gets my attention with the slightest amount of pressure. I really pushed myself. There were a couple of guys I have run with before. I caught up to them about mile 10.

Why not beat them, I thought?

Well, I pushed really hard. My average 10:30 mile pace dropped to 9:00 over the next few miles. I easily passed them on one of the last downhill sections. One of them passed me on the final uphill. We crossed the finish line with me in the middle.

That's when the pain started. 

I feared that I had a torn meniscus, but I am happy to report, my knee is feeling pretty good this morning. It's a little stiff, but doing its job perfectly. My foot is another story. I did a little research and who knows, maybe it's a stress fracture. I have had them before. I am mad because I have been injury free for over three years. 

I learned a few things during this race. It was my first half marathon in over a year.

-1 I can do this running thing despite life circumstances.
-2 I am not in as good a shape as I could be. Ending a race injured is a sign of poor training.
-3 I need to lose some of this weight for my joints sake and my speed.

I do have some good things going on. Like a wedding to attend, a job, health insurance, and people who love me.

Now if I can just make friends with the damn scale, life would be perfect!

It's time to focus on my health. I am registered as a charity runner for the London Marathon. I am committed to raising money, and I am already at 35% of my goal. Now I need to train well to do well. I realize that for a fat old guy finishing is a win, but I want more.

No sparrows were harmed in the writing of this blog.

50 votes + -


Knoxvilla5 wrote 57 months ago:
Love it! "I am feeling all bad@$$ after that run." You should--the hits keep coming, and you keep coming back for more. So inspiring!

And about those swallows: were they African or European, and were they UNLADEN?! LOL!

Keep flying high, Doc!
dsjohndrow wrote 57 months ago:
Here's the link if you need it.
jjalajandra wrote 57 months ago:
Enjoy reading your posts. Never give up!
aliciaaw wrote 57 months ago:
You give a lot of people hope. That we can do this! As all with enjoy your blog
suttercm wrote 57 months ago:
This came at a perfect time for me. I have had a major back slide. Need to get back on track, find out what the heck is triggering all this extra eating. Onward and downward!
marlown wrote 57 months ago:
Yes! You are "bad-ass" and as always, inspiring us not to quit or relax in the quest for our goals. Close is not good enough. You give me so much hope, about many things. Thanks for sharing your journey.
pizzafruit wrote 57 months ago:
You are the continuous rays of sunshine for so many of us. Those of us who struggle look to members like you who have success yet are subject to the same set backs we face. Thanks for not giving up.
JeromeBarry1 wrote 57 months ago:
I don't love running, but you do and I admire your pursuit of your love. Thank you for the way you have of showing us how to pursue our love.
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