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Rules for Accepting MFP Friends Are Essential!

I can't believe that friend requests are so much trouble for some people here on MFP. I read profiles with all sorts of rules. For example: I don't accept friend requests after 6 pm, when I am picking my nose, or on Tuesday. What is Tuesday, you're cheat day? And how many calories are you logging those boogers as? 

So I decided to write my own.

I don't accept friend requests from...

-1 ...naked woman. If I do, it's because I don't like you. My wife creeps my account, and when she sees you, watch out - and be sure to wear safety goggles. My friend _David_ was the only exception to the rule; the dude is just funny in a Texas sort of way.

-2 ...idiots. Look it up if you need too.

-3 ...users whose profiles say, "I am not logging because I am not ready to and I also like pink unicorns." As my friend AnnaBell likes to say: "see you at the funeral."

-4 ...people that have Charlie Sheen as a profile pic. Cocaine, it's not good for you even if you do laugh a lot and lose weight. MFP has the same effect!

-5 ...who's user name is WTG. Think about it, WTG said "WTG" who replied to WTG, who said "WTG." In software we call this an endless loop. WTF is already taken; try WhosTheFriend.

-6 ...people that have a lot of cats. I am allergic to them.

-7 ...skinny people that are only trying to lose 1 pound a year. Really, there is a site for people like you: EasilyAmused.com 

-8 ...people trying to sell me diets. I have a 6-figure income (if you include cents), and it's not enough.

-9 ...trolls that are here to gain weight.

-10 ...people that have not logged-in, in the last 30 days. (Think about it, you'll get it.)

I do accept friend requests... from everyone else.

I have yet to delete a friend, but I reserve the right to.

Thanks for the votes and comments.

Friend me if you like.

216 votes + -

63 comments:

rschmmidt wrote 121 months ago:
Too too funny!!
coloradocami wrote 121 months ago:
cute
emilydmac wrote 121 months ago:
I'm glad I made the cut!! You are a great friend!
coloradocami wrote 121 months ago:
11...no naked men
vger11 wrote 121 months ago:
I don't understand friend requests from members with completely blocked profiles and no message...WTH ?! How can I tell if they're out to lunch....(too many times a week!! ha ha).
ShannaDBowser wrote 121 months ago:
If I hadn't already friended you, I would send you another request. :D This is too frakkin funny. And True!
annabellj wrote 121 months ago:
ah, I made the cut too and got mentioned in your blog! love it! you make me laugh so much! I dont know what I would do without you! and what the **** is it with guys that are trying to hit on me? Ive been married for 20 yrs, not going anywhere and Im trying to lose weight dammit! dont friend me if you just want to screw around!lol I think I will have to change my profile and add that!
cessnaholly wrote 121 months ago:
You are a riot.
olymp1a wrote 121 months ago:
That was funny! :)
LaSweetMini wrote 121 months ago:
LMAO!
creasonr wrote 121 months ago:
I would also like to know the technical name for boogers as well as the calorie count. LOL!
cygnetpro wrote 121 months ago:
So funny! I'm pretty new to MFP, and have yet to see any naked people. I will admit to being mighty impressed with some of the six packs on some guys on here, though. No complaints here!
dsjohndrow wrote 121 months ago:
@Cyg - Half naked guys are cool. BTW - everyone has 6 pack abs, just that some are shrink-wrapped for shipping.
NomNomCupcakes wrote 121 months ago:
I have five cats and love unicorns :\ I guess we could never be friends lol
Pkiddy wrote 121 months ago:
Love it! another hit i'm sure. :)
Mommawarrior wrote 121 months ago:
I hate cats!
This is the best post I have ever seen!
ARMom8251 wrote 121 months ago:
Love it...rules to live by I say!!
tchrnmommy wrote 121 months ago:
I think I love you! LOL....oops hope your wife doesn't see that!
SaishaLea wrote 121 months ago:
Too funny!Great blog post!!!
court182 wrote 121 months ago:
Haha! Hilarious!!
James_1954 wrote 121 months ago:
"-6 ...people that have a lot of cats. I am allergic to them."

How many's "a lot?"
sarabhorton wrote 121 months ago:
this is hilarious! thanks for the grins today!
macyshopper wrote 121 months ago:
too funny!
jak111 wrote 121 months ago:
Thank you for the great Friday laugh. That was just hilarious, but I do have to agree with you! P.S. how many are too many cats? If I promise not to talk about them can we be friends? :)
cfreema wrote 121 months ago:
Your blog posts are always an enjoyment for me! I am going to add you as a friend!
Chika_2015 wrote 121 months ago:
This so gave me a chuckle. I accept all friends, but like you said, " i deserve the right to delete your a$$). Love it.
JoAnn73 wrote 121 months ago:
I Feel ya! LOL
odditblue wrote 121 months ago:
=O
Nooooooo!!! I have cats....
But for you I am kicking out my six orange cats TONIGHT!!!
(Sick of changing the litter anyway!)
Don't drop me bro!
=)

WTG! WTG! WTG!
(tempting fate...)

Lose weight now, ask me how...
LOL!
(Sorry, could NOT help myself)
=D
Laura_Ivy wrote 121 months ago:
I am pretty new to MFP but I found it kind of odd when I saw a couple people that had 'rules' about friending others. I'm here for support and will make a friend with anyone as long as they help me along the way! :-) This post cracked me up.
rockeraxXx wrote 121 months ago:
I agree!!!! hahahaha
dsjohndrow wrote 121 months ago:
I would really like to to *Like* some of these comments. LOL
ECA67 wrote 121 months ago:
Lol, you are a trip!!!!! I too am glad I made the cut. Thank GOD I didn't post a naked picture. But all you guys are welcome because I don't have anyone looking over my shoulder. But I do miss that ! You're cute man, don't change a thing especially my Mfp !
1prettysmile wrote 121 months ago:
Hilarious!
ncole3 wrote 121 months ago:
Love it!!!
Fabnover40Kat wrote 121 months ago:
I love this!!
Hoppymom wrote 121 months ago:
You ALWAYS make me laugh. Thank-you! I agree with every single rule. I did have one friend out for a month and she had been posting everyday. Turns out she said she had a car accident and been in a coma. She said she had lost (I think,) 13 pounds. I chose to believe her and am glad that I didn't defriend her. She hasn't been here so much lately though. Keep posting sir,cause your thoughts are worth my time.
linabickel wrote 121 months ago:
Hilarious!
ceannesjourney wrote 121 months ago:
Oh dear...I'm a cat lady! ;o)
MarchelleLynne wrote 121 months ago:
no cats, 3 chihuahuas? I like long walks on the beach and scarey movies!! haha great post!
momofacacia wrote 121 months ago:
Thanks for the mid afternoon laugh! Love it :)
momofacacia wrote 121 months ago:
Thanks for the mid afternoon laugh! Love it :)
BahamaBrownEyes wrote 121 months ago:
lol :) That is so funny
kardowling wrote 121 months ago:
Sent you a request. too funny!
SixCatFaerie wrote 121 months ago:
I'm with James_1954... How many is too many?

Love your posts!
betzeross wrote 121 months ago:
Based on your MFP friend request rules - I think we can be friends! Loved it. Sent a request. :)
drvvork wrote 121 months ago:
This is great!! Thank you for sharing your rules.... LOL
DKing33 wrote 121 months ago:
Very funny! Thanks
cmon288 wrote 121 months ago:
I so needed this laugh! Keep them coming!
Timo113 wrote 121 months ago:
This is the second blog entry that I read of yours and found hilarious ... now I am going to bookmark you.

Really... rules about friends on line, I bet they don't have any friends on the outside ....
bevsdietfor2011 wrote 121 months ago:
I loved this post!!! You are a true friend, a great inspiration and you are funny!!!! Keep posting these great blogs and I am glad that I also made the cut to be your friend. I always send messages to my friends who haven't been on for awhile and if they don't answer and haven't logged in for a couple of months then I usually delete them. I am a true friend and I stick around for the good and the bad times as a true friend should!!!!
H_Factor wrote 121 months ago:
I enjoyed this a lot. funny about the Tuesday picking your booger on a spike day rule. lol!
babygurl48 wrote 121 months ago:
Too funny!! Thanks for sharing the rules..lol...
babygurl48 wrote 121 months ago:
Too funny!! Thanks for sharing the rules..lol...
cuquee wrote 121 months ago:
excellent...my fav would have to be #7..."

-7 ...skinny people that are only trying to lose 1 pound a year. Really, there is a site for people like you: EasilyAmused.com"
mandakins79 wrote 121 months ago:
I have a 6-figure income (if you include cents) - hahaha. So funny! Great humor. - WTG
kimmiangel wrote 121 months ago:
That was so hilarious, thanks for the laugh. :)
divediva2 wrote 121 months ago:
There are rules???? I am so in the dark here.
bridgeo74 wrote 121 months ago:
Still laughing....which should be good for the six-pack!!!
bademasi wrote 121 months ago:
Love your rules.... I am laughing so much! I want to loose 67 lbs and new to MFP.
gusgrace06 wrote 121 months ago:
You seem cool too bad we can't be friends I have cats (sad face) Thanks for the Laugh and the ab work out :)
Fatbuster205 wrote 121 months ago:
LOL!!!
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