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Resolutions and Excuses

The average person stops doing whatever it is they resolve to do by the 13th of January. Last week I joined the gym. This morning I didn't go. In fact, I haven't been once since I signed up.

Stone me with donuts.

I don't even know what to say. Mr. Know-it-all failed. Today is the tomorrow I said I would start. It is now 8:41 and I am still in bed. I should end right here.

But I have a good excuse. Honest.

In real life, I am coming to terms with the distinct possibility that I will need two or three surgeries. I have had chronic pain for five long months. There is a long list of medications and therapies I have tried.

Yesterday I had more of the scorching headaches.

My wife and I briefly talked about what surgery means for me and more importantly, us. I see the specialist on Friday. I am also going to see a neurologist before all this is over. Then I will get a second opinion and see if there is any wonder drug I have missed.

Meanwhile, I need to stop making up excuses and lying to myself.

Food is the real problem. If you are new, or even if you have been around here for a while, here is a list of excuses I won't be using in 2019. Feel free. :)

I Have Slow Metabolism:
Right, and if your body was a car, it would be in reverse. Personally, mine hit a speed bump at age 40 and broke the steering column.

My Parents Didn’t Teach me How to Eat:
Are you kidding, have you looked in the mirror? You are probably good at eating, in fact very good! For God’s sake, birds manage to get south.

It’s the Holidays!
The Bermuda Triangle: Thanksgiving Christmas and New Years. (Or Memorial Day, the 4th and Labor Day.) Flag Day, the dog’s birthday. There are lots of holidays!

It’s Vacation:
One of my personal favorites, lots of eating out and lying around (actually that sounds more like work). Staying in the hospital is not a vacation. You can trust me on this one.

I Don’t Like Healthy Food:
Let me know when the pity party is over. Trust me; you are not going to like heart failure either.

It’s Emotional:
WTH? It’s food, nothing else.

I Can Eat Anything I Want!

I’ll Start Over Tomorrow:
Tomorrow is here, now what?

Water Makes Me Gag!
Well, it’s a good thing you are not a dolphin, I guess.

I Have Bad Knees (bad ankles, bad hips, bad a$$):
From here it looks like they can get you back and forth from the store, the bathroom and the refrigerator.

How about you, can you share some your most creative excuses for staying the way you were?

Disclaimer: Look, there are people who have legitimate medical reasons for being where they are. However; if you can get out of bed, you can probably begin to exercise. Seeing as diet is probably 90% of weight loss, you can make better choices.

56 votes + -


Laura80111 wrote 42 months ago:
I think I've used just about every excuse listed, except the ones for the bad knees. What I've realized is that what they are are excuses and all they do is make you feel good for about one second. Now I own them and we begin each day as new with each meal in moderation and moving the body is a must. My Dad used to tell my Mom if she didn't get up and use it she would lose it and eventually she did, couldn't walk, couldn't drive couldn't do anything. I WON'T do that. I love reading your blog as you inspire me to be better. Thank you.
Wysewoman53 wrote 42 months ago:
Here's another excuse I've been using: I'm bored with my food choices. The answer to that, of course, change my food choices. It is up to me what I decide to eat so whose fault is it that I don't make different choices? Oh, and one of my favorite excuses I find myself using: It takes too long to prepare healthier less caloric foods so I stop by a fast food joint on my way home from work. Good one, huh? Well, believe me, it takes a lot longer to lose weight if I don't take the time(maybe a whole 10-15 minutes without cooking) to prepare the food.

I sincerely hope everything works out for you as you prepare for surgery.
shunggie wrote 42 months ago:
Weather excuses to not walk. Too cold (layers) too wet (put on a slicker) too much snow (don't have an answer for this yet but boots of some sort?). I used to only walk in the spring and fall. This year I've decided to walk until it's too hot (medical condition (MS) means I cannot get overheated if at all possible). I walked on Saturday in the middle of a snowstorm that gave us a foot of snow. It was beautiful. No More LAME excuses.
babydee543 wrote 42 months ago:
One I’ve used many times: “But I’ve just had my hair done!”
deadenddiva wrote 42 months ago:
Have you looked into the possibility that you may have an Arnold Chiari Malformation? My brother suffers from this and he has a hard time with any sort of jolting movement because it forces his midbrain down into the foramen magnum hole in the skull.
deadenddiva wrote 42 months ago:
"I'll diet when I'm older" But it doesn't work very well any longer, as I turned 65 last summer. Hope you find some answers!
SaesnesGymraeg wrote 42 months ago:
Fab post.

The one that always seems to lodge in my brain is "I'm too busy to exercise/prep food/cook properly!" But if I'm too busy, then surely I'm also too busy to go and check the fridge/pantry for something tasty to eat (when I'm not -actually- hungry). I'm surely too busy to stop at the shop on the way home for a chocolate-based pick-me-up - I could use those 10 minutes at home preparing something healthy to eat. And I'm certainly busy enough that I need to stay healthy, I can't afford to be ill/unfit or my job will be much harder. These answers have been keeping me going for the last six weeks or so. I've only missed one day of exercise in that time. Excuses be gone!
lorrainequiche59 wrote 41 months ago:
I really enjoy your blogs, BUT I need to take issue with your comment about emotional eating and that it is food & nothing else...perhaps that is true for you but please do not categorize every one as the same. For some of us "food" takes on an emotional role that is absolutely unhealthy & misguided. BUT there is a process for working through that & it isn't an easy one so please understand that.
megamom wrote 40 months ago:
I always feel like replying with one of your quips to people complaining about their emotional eating and slow metabolism and their hate of healthy food. Every single one of them is your excuse to fail is how I feel. At 64 I have used them all, but the reality is I eat, or used to eat, too much too often. Love your blog.
Wind814 wrote 39 months ago:
Excellent post! I laughed at " stone me with Donuts ". It is the ultimate punishment. I was on low-carbs for two days and third day I had a donut. It was not a reward, i just really wanted one! And i totally enjoyed it with no guilt or regrets. Yes, I agree to making better food choices as well as not forgetting that I can eat anything , indeed. Do not starve or deprive yourself , only better choices. The secret with carbs is to learn to acknowledge the cravings that follow. As long as you can handle that then go for that donut or carbonara and enjoy. Just don't lose it afterwards.
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