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New is the New Old Thing

Today I am back in the hospital for round 2 of my cisternogram - then 2 more days to go. I haven't given up and I am allowed to run 72 hours from Monday morning at 9 am. So let's see - Tuesday, Wednesday - right Thursday at 9 am!

The lumbar puncture has made my headache go from brutal to near horrific. :(

I have medication for that, so we move forward and live life as best we can. I am still dreaming of a future with less pain. I am still dreaming about all the things left to do in life. I am going to visit all my kids between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I missed them last year. Covid ruined most of those plans this year - but I am going. I don't feel like traveling. I also don't feel like a lot of things. The benefit is I get to be with the people I love.

Living life!

I am learning that what I think matters a lot. The conversations I have with myself have always needed to change. This isn't completly new, it is just that I gave myself permission to speak to myself like some sort of jerk who just cut me off in traffic.

Add to that a disability and it can spiral down quickly.

Today I am back to turning things around. In weight loss, in running, and in life. I am taking care of my body as best as I can. I am taking care of my soul. I am taking care of my spirit. 

It all begins with what I think and the little actions I take.

I have a new running goal. I have a new life goal. They are not like anything I had before. The pit of indecision, that was the same.

- Think fitness, not weight loss.
- Think inches, not pounds.
- Think about what you are doing right.
- Think about adding new things, not subtracting them.
- What can I replace instead of what can I hold on to?
- What I can I schedule to make this work?
- What is a step I can take today?
- How can I reward my success instead of sabotaging my progress?
- Can I confess my failure without judgement?
- Who is a cheerleader that believes in you?
- Stay away from bad influences! (or shoot them!)
- Do it for yourself.
- Set goals. This is tough one. What is a good and achievable goal? What if you don't make it?
- Change your goals if you need to.
- Get enough friends so you enjoy your journey.
- Read success stories!
- Don't give up! Ever.

14 votes + -

19 comments:

solieco1 wrote 12 months ago:
I so wish for you healing and peace a joy. This journey you’ve been on is such a hard one. The continued strength, yes strength, with which you face it is incredible. Of all the funny and serious lists you’ve blogged about, this is the best. It’s one we all should adopt. There’s kindness and love of self and others in there. There’s strength and looking forward, There’s reality of current circumstances and dreaming (with real plans) of future glory. Thank you for sharing your thoughts as always.
kendallvon wrote 12 months ago:
From one disabled person to another, please treat yourself with kindness. You need to heal. Lumbar punctures are never fun-- I've had far too many-- and the headaches are excruciating. Run if you can, when you can. I understand the drive to keep moving ( after all I go for 2 walks/day with my walker), but you need to temper that with self-love. Like the above poster, my wish for you is healing, patience, and much joy. ((Hugs))
clarity8796 wrote 12 months ago:
Love this post! Words are so incredibly important and many of us need to consider whether we would speak to a friend the way that we talk to ourselves.
debk0718 wrote 12 months ago:
Praying you find relief from the headaches. Many of us need to treat ourselves better. I can attest, I am my own worst critic and enemy. Much of the stress I feel daily is self inflicted. Never feeling good enough, or enough in general. Take care of yourself and may you find a way to heal your inner self. As always, thank you for sharing your journey.
Anonymous wrote 10 months ago:
I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor jumba brought back my husband that separated with me for good 6 months. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor  jumba  for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for the 6 months and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor  jumba  who i contacted online. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 24 to 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor  jumba   said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him.  via
call : +19085174108 or wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com for more information 
Anonymous wrote 10 months ago:
Omg I Finally Got Helped  !! I'm so excited right now, I just have to share my testimony on this Forum.. The feeling of being loved takes away so much burden from our shoulders. I had all this but I made a big mistake when I cheated on my wife with another woman  and my wife left me for over 4 months after she found out..  I was lonely, sad and devastated. Luckily I was directed to a very powerful spell caster Dr Emu who helped me cast a spell of reconciliation on our Relationship and he brought back my wife and now she loves me far more than ever.. I'm so happy with life now. Thank you so much Dr Emu, kindly Contact  Dr Emu Today and get any kind of help you want.. Via Email emutemple@gmail.com or Call/WhatsApp +2347012841542
Anonymous wrote 10 months ago:
I am here to spread this good news to the entire world on how Dr Emu helped me solve my infertility problem and i am so happy now that i am now a mother because for over 4 years i have been trying to get pregnant and needed help, i and my husband always go for medical check up and the doctor always say that the both of us are fine and i have nowhere else to get help from and all hope was almost lost until one day i visited a friend of mine and i told her what i was passing through and she introduce me to this great spell caster called Dr Emu who helped her when she was in need of help, so i took a try to contact Dr Emu through his email and i explain all my problem to him and after we have talked he perform an infertility spell for me and after that he told me what i should do, and i followed the instruction he gave and after that he instructed to sleep with my husband and also i followed the instruction and he said that the next week i should go for medical check up and the doctor confirmed that i was 4 months pregnant and i was so happy that all my sorrows were gone for ever, i am so very happy now and also you need any kind of help or the same line with mine, contact Dr Emu on his email: emutemple@gmail.com or Call/Text his whatsapp phone number +2347012841542
Anonymous wrote 9 months ago:
I am from the USA, after six years of marriage with my husband with 3 kids, he suddenly started going out with other women and coming home late, each time I confronted him it turned out to be a fight and he always threatened to divorce me at all times, my marriage was gradually coming to an end. i tried all i could to stop him from his unruly attitude but all proved abortive, until i saw a post in the forum about a spell caster who helps people cast spell on marriage and relationship problems, at first i doubted it but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this Spell caster Dr.Jumba via email, he helped me cast a spell and within four days my husband came back apologizing for all he has done and promised never to do such again and today we are happily together again. Contact this Great spell caster for your marriage or relationship issues on his contact info.Call/WhatsApp: +19085174108
Email: wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com
Website: http://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com
Anonymous wrote 9 months ago:
Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this email address princemagicspell@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him because i have no other choice and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks to Dr Prince. His email: princemagicspell@yahoo.com or WhatsApp +19492293867
Anonymous wrote 5 months ago:

Getting your lover or your ex back has been made more easy by this powerful spell caster called Dr Odion. I am Rose by name and i am from canada, the only reason why i am on this site is to thank this powerful spell caster called DR. Odion and you can improve your relationship success by contacting him through these details (wisdomspiritualtemple@gmail.com Or call +2348136482342) This powerful spell caster did me a huge favor by helping me get my lover back to me within the speed of light and since then my relationship has been perfect.

any problem of yours.He is specialized in the following:

(1)Spell for protection from danger
(2)Spell for magic
(3)Spell for same sex love
(4)Spell for healing
(5)Spell for invisibility
(6)Spell for riches and fame
(7)Spell to get a good job
(8)Spell for strong love and relationship
(9)Spell to bring your ex back
(10)speII for Lottery
This man has great powers and is incredibly generous.You can contact him on
(wisdomspiritualtemple@gmail.com)
Anonymous wrote 5 months ago:
TESTED AND TRUSTED HONEST SPELL CASTER {DR JUMBA } https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com      .

 I want to give a big thanks to a great spell caster commonly known as DR Jumba for the great spiritual prayers he did in my life by bringing my ex-lover back to me after many months of breakup and loneliness. With this, I am convinced that you are sent to this word to rescue people from heartbreaks and also to help us get the solution to every relationship problem. for those of you out there who have one relationship problem or the other why not contact DR Jumba  . that is the best place you can solve all your problems, including a lack of jobs and promotions, binding and marriage spells, divorce and attraction spells, anxiety and depression problems, good luck and lotto spells, fertility, and pregnancy spells, and also the business success and customer increase, winning court cases and many more. contact him at Wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com or call his phone number or WhatsApp: +19085174108 .or check out his website : https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com     
Anonymous wrote 5 months ago:
Its a real miracle Till today i still imagine how dr 0love brought back my man after he had vowed never to set his eyes on me again. he had even set the date for his wedding with another woman before i contacted dr 0love.
He told me to leave everything to him because i told him if the wedding takes place i would commit suicide.
After he cast the spell for me my man came back to me and said he wants to still marry on that date and the woman he wants is me and am so happy to announce that our wedding is coming up in 2 weeks time and i am still in contact with dr 0love till date because he is a very powerful man and a man to be trusted. CONTACT DR 0LOVE ON email: doctor0lovespell@gmail.com OR whatsapp him on: +1 (201) 781-2375 You can also visit his FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Lovespellthatworkfastusa  or view his website: ttps://doctor0lovespell.wordpress.com/
Anonymous wrote 5 months ago:
HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL BY doctor0lovespell@gmail.com  My name is Wendy Ruth, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I’m not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. 0love , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 24hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 24hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I’m still surprise till now about this miracle, i couldn’t conceive but as soon as the spell was cast, i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child, if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via: email: doctor0lovespell@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now: +1 (201) 781-2375 You can also visit his FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Lovespellthatworkfastusa  or view his website: https://doctor0lovespell.wordpress.com/
Anonymous wrote 4 months ago:
How To Get Your Ex Lover/Partner/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Wife Or Husband Back

I was married for 16 years to a loving mother and wife. We had 2 children together who are now 11 & 13. I reconnected with an old girlfriend from college on Facebook and we began an affair and I left my wife. The woman I had an affair with is a wonderful woman and I love her too and our kids had begun accepting the situation and my wife has kind of moved on, but not in love with the man she is seeing. I thought I fell out of love with my wife and I felt terrible about what I did to her - she is a good woman and I don't know what came over me. I decided to try and get her back and I was recommended to Lord Zakuza for help to get reunited with my wife and within 48 hours after I made contact with Lord Zakuza my wife decided to work things out with me and now we are back together with our children living as one happy family. I really don't know the words to use in appreciation of what Lord Zakuza did for me but I will say thank you sir for reuniting I and my family back. For those in trying times with their marriages or relationship can communicate with LORD ZAKUZA through the below information's.

Website via: lordzakuzaspells.com
WhatsApp/call/text: +1 740 573 9483
Email: Lordzakuza7 @gmail. com
Anonymous wrote 3 months ago:
Good day friends. The truth is that GREAT MOTHER IS REAL AND UNIQUELY POWERFUL. Contact the Great Mother today and she will help you. when my husband left me for another woman, i thought that was the end but i contacted many spell casters but there was no positive responses and everything seemed not to be working and i was losing my mind until my cousin told me about the GREAT MOTHER who also helped her to bring back her man and also helped her to cure her herpes disease. I gave it a try and i contacted the Great Mother on her Website and i saw various testimonies about her on her good works how she has helped a lot of people. I explained my problems to her. she laughed and told me that, everything will be okay again and that she will help me bring back my man in 3 days time. I actually thought that it was a joke but since i had no other options, i gave it a try and i did what she instructed me do and to my greatest surprise, my man came back to me begging in 3 days time just as she told me. Contact the Great Mother now on her website:   https://Ourgreatmother1.blogspot.com   and you can also reach her on her email: Greatmotherofsolutiontemple1@gmail.com  or you can equally contact her on her whatsapp number: +17025514367
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Anonymous wrote 3 months ago:
DR. JOROMI IS TRULY A POWERFUL MAN. Contacting Dr Joromi is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My husband left me for another woman for the reason which i know nothing about. I tried every means to get him back but to no avail, all my efforts proved abortive. I was even contemplating suicide. On a lucky day when i was browsing the internet, i came across some amazing testimonies about Dr. Joromi on how he has helped a lot of people with his powerful love spells. I contacted him and explained all my problems to him and he assured me that he will help me. He told me what to do and assured me that my man will be back in 12 hours. I obeyed him and followed the instructions and to my Greatest surprise, my man called me in 12 hours time just as Dr. Joromi said. Thank you Dr Joromi. May the good God continue to bless you. If you are in need of help please contact Dr Joromi now on his website: https://www.joromispells.com and you can also reach him with his email: Joromispells@gmail.com and here is his WhatsApp number which you can also use to reach him +2348138695387 Thank you Dr Joromi. Thank you once again
susanchristaint wrote 1 month ago:
Hello to everyone out here, I am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me … My name is Susan Christian , I live in London, UK. we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do, i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Emu for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 24 hours my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that Dr Emu casted on him that make him come back to me today, me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Emu for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact Dr Emu , if you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: emutemple@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website https://emutemple.wordpress.com/ fb page Https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple-104891335203341 and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.
Anonymous wrote 1 month ago:
Thanks to God and also to Dr. OBINA, the great herbal man that cured me from HERPES. I contacted the virus from my partner three years ago, i almost spent all i had because i was restless and i need to get rid of the virus and i did not rest until i saw people testimonies about Dr. OBINA recommendation online for how he has being curing HERPES with his herbs and i emailed him and tell him my problem and he prepare my cure and send it to me and gave me instructions on how to use the herbs and behold after i finish drinking it i went to the hospital for checkup and the result was negative and the virus was completely gone from my body. You can contact Dr. OBINA to get your herbs too and cure yourself from these virus. His Email: obinnaspelltemple@yahoo.com or add him on WhatsApp +19492293867 Dr. OBINA has cure so many different type of diseases with his herbs such as HERPES, HIV/AIDS. CANCER of all kinds, HSV 1&2, DIABETES and so many more. I want to thank God for using Dr. OBINA to cure me from herpes. Dr. OBINA is truly gifted by God. add him on WhatsApp +19492293867

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