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Life Changes and Body Parts

I don't know about you, but facing health-related facts is not all that easy for me. Facing my limitations is a bitter pill some days.

Getting older is easy; don't die.

Yesterday I was at the orthopedic surgeon. He is my shoulder specialist. I also have a spine - well specifically a cervical specialist. If it was a comedy routine, it would be Abbot & Costello.

"Who's on first?"

"That right."

Where is the pain coming from? The shoulder guy says my neck. The neck guy says my shoulder. In the meantime, this has been going on for months.

Can't they just do surgery or something?

The good news is that I am being referred to a physiatrist who will do guided injections in my spine. It looks like I will be out of work for the rest of the year.

All of this got me to thinking about body parts; ones which I could live without.

I am thinking no matter what, I need a spine. The shoulder - eh, not so much. Since I came to MFP in 2011, I have had a few body parts disappear altogether.

You might have heard a few of these before, but it's worth mentioning them again. When our body parts become infused with fat cells, they change shape and sometimes usage.

- Spare Tire: The obvious protruding belly. The problem is that for some of us, it's a spare tire for a Boeing 747 jetliner.

- Love Handles: This is the fat around the kidney area which keeps us from escaping a hormone-fueled mate or attack dog.
 
- Prayer Shelf: A belly large enough to fold your hands and rest them comfortably on when you sit.

- Double Bubbles: Men or woman with two boob bumps from wearing a bra that is 2 sizes too small.

- Groin Blobs: Genital covering to protect us from 3-foot-two-inch children. Just above the chub rub.

- Arm Danglers: Sometimes known as the reverse biceps.

- Expansion Tank: The are fat blobs that seem to show up in unusual places - if you have them, you know what I am talking about.

- Ring Roll: The little rolls that keep your rings so secure they can't be removed. The upside is you can't lose them in the garbage disposal.

- Intake Port: Your mouth. When you change your relationship with food, it becomes a way to savor good food and enjoy it.

- Trailer Brakes: The fat on your backside that hangs over the chair edge so you don't slide out.

- Man Boobs: Boobs on a man.

- Chin Coaster: 2 or more chins.

- Cankles: Calves and ankles combined.

- Pants Pockets: They look like pockets when you are not wearing pants. If they have stretch marks, they are zippered pockets.

- Cup Holder: A navel vortex. Mine could have easily held a double shot glass.

- Talons: Unclipped toenails because you haven't seen them for a few years.

- Fat Fingers: Used to type 2 or 3 keys at a time.

- Muffin Tops: A blend of belly and hip fat created by tight waist-ed pants or belts.

- Junk in the Trunk: Just means it's a bad idea to wear a thong.

It's OK to laugh at yourself. If you are new on MFP, these are the body parts that can be amputated by proper diet and exercise. In my case, it took a serious illness. I could not do this without medical help and support from all of you.

For those of you that have lost some weight, you know what I'm talking about.

Thanks for the votes and comments.

44 votes + -

23 comments:

kendallvon wrote 45 months ago:
even though I'm not a man (last time I checked, at least), many of these hit home... Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? Thanks for this!
ksharrell48 wrote 45 months ago:
I, too, can relate to many of these "spare body parts" that I can easily live without!
Also I was thinking your neck/shoulder pain has similarities to another friend's situation. He was having increasingly severe shoulder pain and thought it was residual pain from rotator cuff surgery, until neck x-rays revealed bone spurs in his neck vertebrae. Anyway, I hope the spinal injections help you. All the best as you train for Tokyo!
lorrainequiche59 wrote 45 months ago:
I'm wondering if you've ever considered Chiropractic treatment? As an alternative therapy? Often conventional medical doctors are at odds with Chiropractic treatment & vice versa. It would be nice to see more cooperation between the two practices. At least it gives a person more options.

I am not advocating just wondering. I've been helped tremendously through chiropractic, but I'm not saying you will be...I'm not a pro nor do I know your exact health issues. Just curious if you've been that route.

Hope you get some needed relief from your pain.
dsjohndrow wrote 45 months ago:
I have. I go each week.
Anonymous wrote 45 months ago:
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HIV/AIDS

{2CANCER

{3}HERPES

{4}DIABETES

(5}HERPERTITIS B
SheilaCali wrote 45 months ago:
Your post had me rolling (pun intended), then I read the post above mine. Herpertitis B? Wow, a thigh slapper for sure. A double laugh today? Time well spent. Laughter is great medicine!
Anonymous wrote 38 months ago:
I have been suffering from (HERPES) disease for the last four years and had constant pain, especially in my knees. During the first year, I had faith in God that I would be healed someday.This disease started to circulate all over my body and I have been taking treatment from my doctor, a few weeks ago I came on search on the internet if I could get any information concerning the prevention of this disease, on my search I saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from (Hepatitis B and Cancer) by this Man Dr. Silver and she also gave the email address of this man and advise we should contact him for any sickness that he would be of help, so I wrote to Dr. Silver telling him about my (HERPES Virus) he told me not to worry that I was going to be cured!! hmm i never believed it,, well after all the procedures and remedy given to me by this man few weeks later I started experiencing changes all over me as the Dr. assured me that I have cured, after some time i went to my doctor to confirmed if I have been finally healed behold it was TRUE, So friends my advice is if you have such sickness or any other at all you can email Dr. Silver (drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com) sir I am indeed grateful for the help I will forever recommend you to my friends!!! with your lovely Email Address ( drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com
Anonymous wrote 34 months ago:
Hello everybody,

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Anonymous wrote 33 months ago:
i already gave up on ever getting cured of HSV2 because i have try many treatment none of them work out for me i have go to different hospital they always tell me same thing there is no cure for herpes when i came across a post about Dr ohunyom, in the net from a lady called Angela i contacted him and he reassured me with him herbal medicine which i took according to the way he instructed, that how i was cured. I doubted at first because i have been to a whole lot of reputable doctors, tried a lot of medicines but none was able to cure me. so i decided to listen to him and he commenced treatment, and under two weeks i was totally fee from #Herpes. i want to say a very big thank you to DR ohunyom for what he has done in my life. feel free to leave him a message on email drohunyom@gmail.com and also WhatsApp him +2349060579973..
He can still be able to help you with this herbs medicine:
1...ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILESY/HPV CURE/LUPUS/HEPATITIS/CANCER/GOUT  
Anonymous wrote 30 months ago:
CURED FROM GENITAL HERPES More than 5 years ago I was in pain with this deadly herpes virus, A few months ago, while I was surfing the internet, I came across some testimonies of how he have been curing a lot of people of different diseases around he world these people gave the Dr. Hassan E-mail drhassanherbscure@gmail.com ,and advised us to contact him about any problem He gave me an answer after a few hours, and he told me the procedure,he told me that he would send me some of his strong herbal liquid medicine through courier delivery service, which I would take for 21 days after 21 days, I will completely heal .I write him and make some inquiries about his herbs and i requested for the herbs, I received the herbal medicine from DR.Hassan after 3 days of communication .I started to use the herbal medicine which I got from Dr. Hassan and after 14 days I started noticing changes, I. When I saw these changes, I contacted this great Doctor. and I told him about it, he told me to go to the hospital and I see if the virus is still there, I went to the hospital and i was tested negative. I was completely free from HERPES, I have been saved from pains and this shameful virus . Please, you can contact DR Hassan for every problem such as HPV, CANCER ,ALS , HIV/AIDS, PILES , INFERTILITY , with the email below: " and write him on whats-app ..: drhassanherbscure@gmail.com . .  WhatsApp / Call :   +2349032582239  
Anonymous wrote 27 months ago:
I want to write a little testimony about the good work of doctor ehiaguna who cured me from Hsv 1 and 2 for just 2 week with his herbal medicine, I never believe I can be normal again and have a good life like others I always regretted the day I got diagnose with the virus, I was lost of hope when my doctor told me there is no cure for it but I keep thinking and thinking about my future, if I can have kids of my own well I am so grateful for my helper who get me cured with his herbal medicine, I go online in search of anything that can help me because I can’t deal with it forever so I found this doc ehiaguna email on a blog of someone who was cured by him I quickly contact him for help and explain all my pain to him, he told me not to worry about it there is cure for real, I never believe until he send me the herbal medicine when I order for it and I have it within 4 days that is how I took the medicine for 2 week and the following week I go for test just to confirm I was 100% cured from this sickness what a miracle in my life I am so happy right now, you can also get in contact with him if you have such sickness through drehiaguna@gmail.com and also WhatsApp him +2348073908953... And He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases; eczema,urethra wart,chronic problems.Herpes, Cancer, Als,Hepatitis, Diabetes, HPV,Infections,ulcer  ETC
Anonymous wrote 26 months ago:
HOW I GOT CURE TO MY HERPES WITH THE HELP OF PRIEST WISDOM  NATURAL HERBS CURE WHATSAPP HIM ON +2348124644470 

I can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all HERPES patient in the world i never believed that their could be any complete cure for HERPES or any cure for HERPES,i saw people’s testimony on sites of how PRIEST WISDOM  prepare herbal cure and brought them back to life again. i had to try it too and you can,t believe that in just a few weeks i started using it all my pains stopped gradually and i had to leave without the HERPES DRUGS the doctor gave to me. Right now I can tell you that a few months now I have not had any pain,and the delay in treatment leads to death. Here is his email: Supernaturalspell1@gmail.com his WHATSAPP number is +2348124644470  
Anonymous wrote 25 months ago:
I was cured of HIV with the used of natural herbs. My name is cellina jolly
and am from US. I love herbs so much. Most times, injection and drugs are
just a waste of time. I was cured 8months ago, i suffered from HIV for
13yrs but with the help of Dr. voodoo herbal medicine, i was cured within
few weeks of drinking the herbs he sent to me through courier delivery
service. This same doctor also cured my Aunty from herpes, as soon as i
heard she had herpes, i quickly refer her to Dr. voodoo and she was cured
too after drinking his herbs.I have referred more than 15 persons to Dr.
voodoo and they were all cured from their various illness. Have you taken
herbs before?. You have spent so much money on drugs,injections,surgeries
etc and yet you have no good result to show for it. Contact Dr. voodoo now,
he is a herbalist doctor, i assured you of a cure if you drink his natural
herbs. Dr. voodoo have herbs that cures HIV, Herpes, diabetics, asthma,
hepatitis, HBP, STD, cancer, chronic, etc. Contact Dr voodoo through his
Email address on: voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com or WHATSAP/CALL
him on +2348140120719 Please share the good news to other people once you are cured
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Anonymous wrote 25 months ago:
MY HIV HEALING TESTIMONY

My mouth is short of words, i am so happy because Dr voodoo has healed me
from HIV which i have been suffering from the past 5years now, i have
spend a lot when getting drugs from the hospital to keep me healthy, i have
tried all means in life to always i can become HIV negative one day, but
there was no answer until i found Dr voodoo the parish of African who
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that i am now HIV Negative, i am very happy, thank you Dr voodoo for
helping my life comes back newly without any form of crisis, may the good
lord that i serve blessed you Dr voodoo and equip you to the higher grade
for healing my life. i am so amazed. so i will announced to everyone in
this whole world that is HIV positive to please follow my advice and get
healed on time, because we all knows that HIV disease is a deadly
type,contact Dr voodoo for your HIV healing herbs today at:
voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com He will be always happy to assist you
online and ensure you get healed on time, contact Dr voodoo today for
your healing hearbs immediately, you can also
add him on whatsApp +2348140120719 thank you sir.
Anonymous wrote 25 months ago:
Finally a Natural Product to cure Herpes and Cold Sores is Available at HealthyLife Herbal Centre. earning that you have HERPES  can be one of the most difficult experiences you go through in life. You may feel scared, sad or even angry – this is OK, and a completely natural part of coping with something that can be life changing.
It will probably take a while for the news to sink in.

My name is Bella faith gilmore and i am from the United States.

I remember spending so much money buying drugs from hospitals hoping that i will be cured from HERPES INFECTION, but all to no avail. I contacted so many  doctors and they prescribe medicine for me which they indeed tried their best but was unable to provide for me a possible cure, luckily i saw a comment about a great work of (Healthylife herbal centre) online.

I then contacted him (herbalist roman) through email healthylifeherbalcentre@gmail.com After much chat and enquiry with the doctor, i decide to take a leap of faith because i have nothing to loose.
To my greatest surprise, healthylife herbal centre prepare a medicine and  send me a Herbal Medicine through FEDEX courier Service, and he gave me guidelines on how am to take it. I followed all procedures as instructed, and after 2 weeks of taking it i was cure from HERPES  his medicine is legit and it is real.

I just want to encourage all individuals out there living with HERPES ,  ITCHY SHINGLES , Genital Herpes, HSV1&2, HIV/AIDS/ HPV, COPD, CANCER, Hepatitis b, Lupus, PCOS, Kindney failure, Lung cancer and alot more. That there is still a huge chance that you can get cure only with the help of  healthylife herbal centre. kindly contact him via email: healthylifeherbalcentre@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348074216045 you can as well visit his blogs pageshttps://nativeherpes.blogspot.com/  http://traditionalmedicinecure.blogspot.com/
https://herbalsupplementry.blogspot.com/  
https://curetokidneyfailure.blogspot.com/ https://faithgilmore1.blogspot.com/http://cancercopdtreatment.blogspot.com/  good luck.
Anonymous wrote 25 months ago:


My son was born 6-16-2010 via a repeat c-section. shortly after birth he couldn't keep his o2 up and was jerking so they sent us to a larger hosptial. Once there it was torture. They first thought it was a blood disorder because his blood was thicker than normal, then they noticed his seizures. After that we did the MRI and the next day the nuero met us in the nicu to discuss his findings. I remember I kept asking the nurses about his results and all I was told was the Dr. can explain better than me so we knew something wasn't right. I was sitting in the chair beside his bed and the neuro came in and said your son has had a LARGE right mca infarct which is a stroke. I lost it then and they then asked me did I want to see his MRI. I just couldn't and to this day still haven't. Until i meet a post online about Dr Lewis Hill product is a real cure who help my son and i can say my son his fine and i will love you parent's should help your child or Adult that has this should also try and contact Dr Lewis Hill (email him on: drlewishill247@gmail.com)
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Anonymous wrote 24 months ago:
I can’t believe this. A great testimony that i must share to all HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS patient in the world i never believed that their could be any complete cure for Herpes or any cure for herpes,i saw people’s testimony on blog sites of how dr Ero prepare herbal medicine that cure and brought them back to life again. i had to try it too and you can,t believe that in just few weeks i started using it all my pains stop gradually and i had to leave without the pills the doctor gave to me. Right now i can tell you that few months now i have not had any pain,delay in treatment leads to death. Here is his email:(wealthylovespell@gmail.com) whatsapp him with +2348105150446 visit blog http://wealthyspellhome.over-blog.com
Anonymous wrote 24 months ago:
I'm here to testify about the great work Dr Iyoha did for me. I have been suffering from (HERPES) disease for the past 3 years and had constant pain, especially in my knees. During the first year,I had faith in God that i would be healed someday.This disease started circulating all over my body and i have been taking treatment from my doctor, few weeks ago i came across a testimony of someone on the internet testifying about a Man called Dr Iyoha on how he cured her from Herpes Simplex Virus. And she also gave the email address of this man and advise anybody to contact him for help for any kind of sickness that he would be of help, so I emailed him telling him about my (HERPES Virus) he told me not to worry that i was going to be cured!! Well i never believed it, well after all the procedures and remedy given to me by this man which i take for 3 week,few months later i started experiencing changes all over me as Dr Iyoha assured me that i will be cured,after some time i went to my doctor to confirmed if i have be finally healed behold it was TRUE, So friends my advise is if you have such sickness or any other at all you can contact Dr Iyoha via email driyohasolutiontemple@yahoo.com. You can also call his telephone number on +1 407 337 9869. Thanks once again Dr Iyoha ...
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Anonymous wrote 2 months ago:
I suffered from what they called peripheral artery disease (PAD). I have been suffering for years, Me and my wife searched for a medical cure, and then we came across a testimony of a man who suffered the same and was cured by Dr Chief Lucky. So my wife and I contacted Dr Chief Lucky via an email and thank God he replied. I explained what was wrong and he sent me herbal medicines that helped heal me completely. I am happy to say that herbal medicine is the ultimate and Dr Chief Lucky I am grateful. You can contact him on his email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or whatsapp: +2348132777335, Facebook page http://facebook.com/chiefdrlucky or website https://chiefdrlucky.com/. He said that he also specializes in the following diseases: ALS, CANCER, HPV, HERPES, DIABETES, HEPATITIS B, HIV, And more.

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