I have traveled a lot, and even in my little town I meet folks for who English is a second language. For me, the language of nutrition and fitness is a second language. I mean, when I started, I thought a burpee was a couple of bodily functions gone wrong - like a hickcough.

My neighbor is Brazilian and I love his accent and fractured idioms! My favorite is "the whole 9 shebangs."

It got me to thinking about some of the sayings Americans use (don't like it, piss off no offense to the rest of the world) in day-to-day life. What if nutrition and fitness was my first language, what would they mean then? How would they change? Here is a intor into my little world.

- As easy as [tofu] pie!

- The bee's knees [needed arthoscopic surgery].

- As happy as an [unfried] clam.

- Big fish in a small pond: now a meal for four.

- Blast from the past: before pics!

- Catch 22: Could be good or bad depending on whether it is a filling 22 calorie snack food or a 22 pound weight gain.

- Brownie points: Colon cleansing.

- Chick flick: Half a chicken tender.

- Close but no cigar: 200.1 lbs on the scale damn it!

- Cold turkey: unhealthy processed meats filled with sodium.

- Doom and gloom: A 1000 calorie a day diet.

- Fancy pants: 2 sizes smaller then the ones from last month!

- Ethnic cleansing: No more pizza and beer!

- Fanny farm: Where we used to live before C25K.

- Going postal: Mail order diet food.

- Heavy metal: Fitbits, GPS units and HRMs.

- Identity Theft: After pics!

- In the bag: Purchase healthy food.

- Jump the gun: Run your first 5K!

- Kangaroo court: Message boards.

- Jump the shark: Mad fitness workout!

- Kit and caboodle: Properly fitting sports bra or other undergarment.

- Lame duck: Posting that you are not going to log for a few days.

- Off the record: Not logging all your food.

- Pi$s off: Getting ready to weigh in.

- Play by ear: New running tunes!

- Red letter day: Over your calories.

- Sold down the river: Health food store is too far from the house.

- Spill the beans: In the south = peanut farts, up north = eating a high protein/high fiber diet.

- Tuckered out: Week 3 of C25K. :)

- Zero tolerance: Rules for not adding friends.

Thanks for reading along! I appreciate the votes and comments. Feel free to add your own.