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I Want Credit for All My Calories!

I don’t know about you, but I want credit for every darn calorie I burn each day. To my dismay, there are some things that are NOT in the MFP Cardio Vascular Exercise search.

What a rip off!

After all I have given up sleeping late to go running at 5:45, Wendy’s Triple Baconater Combo Meals (1,850 cals!), having second helpings at meals and pretty much all my favorite desserts!!

Anyway, here are some things I do that I want calorie credit for on MFP!

Laughing: That’s right, if you think that a redneck fire alarm (Jiffy Pop nailed to the ceiling) on YouTube is funny; you deserve credit for laughing at it.

New research published in the International Journal of Obesity has discovered that laughter really is the best medicine for a weight problem. That’s right, 15 minutes a day is 10-14 calories.

Relaxing: Look, if you are breathing, you are burning calories! I think this is unfair to us lazy people, and I’d like it changed!

Posing for Animal Crackers: Standing burns more calories than sitting! So, posing for the Lion Sleeps Tonight mural is just a few hundred less.

Sleeping: This is another thing that I am pretty damn good at, and in fact do a lot of. It has got to count for something!

HERE are 50 more ways to burn calories without sweating!

Kissing: I like kissing my kids and my wife (no, not the same way you pervert!), and apparently 9,000 kisses add up to a hundred calories!

In fact there is a lot of stuff you can do burn another 100!

Sex: Come on, you already knew this. One orgasm, two, three or more, the details are HERE. (See, there are some places woman can lose weight more quickly than men!) I am going to add it to MFP as “you know” so that when you read my posts they will say “David just did you know for 13 minutes and burned 124 calories and half the house (because he knocked over the candle on the night stand!)”

Drinking Cold Water: That’s right. If you drink cold water, you burn calories trying to warm back up! I am wondering how MFP will post it if you drink cold water during sex? “David did you know, cold water for a total of 17 minutes and burned 154 calories.”

Need some MORE ideas?

Other than chewing, what do you want credit for?

I am working on my book these next few weeks. I hope you won't mind an occasional repeat. Thanks for your comments, votes and support of my book!

32 votes + -


Hoppymom wrote 111 months ago:
If someone is only burning 100 calories with 900 calories they are not doing it right. The guy who did the calculations is a poser.
Leahbcc wrote 111 months ago:
Thanks for the infomration
deeannhill wrote 111 months ago:
Typing. Lord do I ever want credit for typing and staring at a computer screen. "deeannhill burned 245 calories at the keyboard for 420 minutes"
eliz_in_pink wrote 111 months ago:
I absolutley LOVE this.

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