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I Think I Need a New Tattoo - Not Dying Reward

Today I am off to the hospital for a bone scan. Later this week I will get the results. There is a lot more health stuff to do before the year ends. I have to go back for an ultrasound of my heart. It’s my six year follow up to congestive heart failure.

I will also be back at the orthopedic surgeon to check the progress of my broken femur.

I came to MFP to be fit, and all it seems that I have done if chase one medical problem after the other. 2 years after having congestive heart failure, I was feeling very healthy.  I was eating the right things, running and in general, felt better than ever.

In 2013 I had my first cancer diagnosis.

Except for that, I was very healthy until 2015. I ran 4 marathons in one 1 year – 3 in 3 months - plus I ran all the way across Rhode Island. I had personal best time in every distance. In 2016 my running trailed off due to some other health stuff.

Except for my blood pressure meds which I have been on for a very long time, that was all I took.

I take most things in stride, but it bothers me that I work so hard at this and I still can’t avoid the doctor’s office other than a yearly physical.  The cancer follow-ups every 3 or 6 months can wear me out.

One cancer survivor called it PCSD. Post Cancer Stress Syndrome.

In 2016 when I was feeling low about running and my health, I got a tattoo to commemorate my running 3 of the 6 Word Major marathons. Despite braking my femur 7 weeks ago, I am running London and I will finish.

Then I need to find a way to get into Tokyo for 2019.

Without a goal, this whole thing becomes very depressing. Some days people telling me “be strong,” and “you got this,” isn’t enough. I need to rely on my faith and those close to me who let me vent.

I am holding my own with the food. 

I haven’t done more than 1000 steps in a day for over a month! I haven’t run a single mile. I did, however, get to level 124 in Bubble Witch Saga 3. I also have lots to be grateful for. It bothers me that I have to strip down for strangers. Again!

50 votes + -


Hoppymom wrote 54 months ago:
I'm sorry. I wish I could be more supportive, more effective. All I can do is continue to pray that your body is stronger than the cancer. I am continually amazed at the strength you have shown in the face of all of these health issues. Continuing to run speaks highly of your inner strength. Some of us, me included, might have just said, "Screw it. I'm going to do what I want and eat what I want. I'm done running when I am sick." You have percevered and taken care of your body in a way that is admirable.
zimfour wrote 54 months ago:
Prayers for you my friend!

We all have our demons and physical pain! I would love to be able to run again, but these bulging discs in my back causes so much sciatica discomfort at times that all I can do is fast walk!

Swimming and the Elliptical are my fitness salvation!
stephenson2012 wrote 54 months ago:
My sister got a tattoo of the Chinese character - Strength over her right breast after she beat breast cancer the first time. A year later she was battling colon cancer. Nine years after she beat breast cancer the first time, she had breast cancer again. Her doctor managed to save the first tattoo. She is a survivor and my hero. You are a survivor and a hero so if you want a tattoo, get it. You could have given up and not fought as hard as you have, don't be discourage. There are many people her impressed by your courage.
jjalajandra wrote 54 months ago:
I went through 3 years of sitting in an over stuffed chair with feet propped up. Very depressing. Then, the doctors found out what was really wrong with me--and a nurse realized that I am a diabetic--and I've been clawing my way our of my fat suit by eating healthy and exercising since. Health problems that you just have to endure are the pits! I admire your determination. Prayers for your recovery. I always enjoy your blog.
aliciaaw wrote 54 months ago:
All I can say is, I agree with everyone here you have so much to look forward to. You're one luckily person to still be here and continue to do the things you do. I admire your courage to keep going! A BIG HUG to you and your wife.
Rincewind_1965 wrote 54 months ago:
You are not "stripping down for strangers", you are writing the pain from your soul and by this are putting the individual fates of each and every reader into a different context.

You are helping us and there is no way we could pay back for this.

Thank you for sharing your story,
I wish I could actually be helpful.
Laura80111 wrote 54 months ago:
The end of your post game me my LOL moment....I have no idea what Bubble Witch Saga is but since you made it to another level that means it's a video game (I have learned that much from my grown sons). You more than "have this" God has you in his hands and that's more than enough strength for you. Love reading your blog thank you for sharing your up and downs.
The_Movie_Chair wrote 54 months ago:
Medical problems seem to be a part of aging. "Health stuff" becomes a part of our routine. I don't like it either. I hate to feel the limitations, I hate the medications that I have to take.

Once in a while, I have to remind myself that I am the lucky one. I am here. I can complain about my health, I can still complain about everything that comes to my mind (and there is plenty.)

Our journeys can be painful, even feel humiliating at times.

I wish you and your family a Happy Holiday Season.

"Today we fight - tomorrow we fight - the day after we fight."
marlown wrote 54 months ago:
Inspiring, as always! Thoughts and prayers for good results all around.
pizzafruit wrote 54 months ago:
I get it; I've been there. Does it bother you to strip down in front of strangers because you feel an obligation to be strong for others? It's so hard not to let the uncertainty get you down, make you worry. If I saw you, I wouldn't know you but that doesn't make you a stranger; it means I didn't recognize you. You let us into your life all the time - giving us hope and guidance. Stripping down is good for the soul and the mind. So Dave, I say take it off; take it all off.

deadenddiva wrote 54 months ago:
Good luck with your exams. It is scary sitting there in a none too warm gown on an exam table for always far too long, and then having an expert come in and poke and prod you, all the while looking through tons of paperwork you may not be privy to. And it's OK to gripe as much and as long as you want. We will listen, and sympathize and wish we could do more. Cancer sucks.
Anniepi66 wrote 54 months ago:
Good luck with the exams. I go every six months to the oncologist, too. So far so good. And then the heart doc and the Ob-gyn and the sleep specialist and the neurologist. And an orthopedic now because of my hip. And then there's the primary care doc. I really do enjoy your blogs because you are so positive, have faced the bear and have beaten him! Your attitude has given you strength. You keep it up!
ranchmimi wrote 54 months ago:
Getting old(er) is not for wimps! Whoever coined the phrase "The Golden Years" was sorely confused! However - no matter the aches and pains and sources of them - we can make our golden years pretty fantastic by sucking it up and do what you are trying to do - eat healthily, exercise the best you can, play hard, enjoy your loved ones, and keep a positive attitude! When it hurts too much, stop, sit and rest until you're ready to go at it again! It works - at least for me - an 80 year young lady! Hang in there!
mysteps2beauty wrote 54 months ago:
124 in Bubble Witch Saga 3 LOL. I'm on level 211 so you know I'm doing much running either.
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