I Need a Break!
Posted on 9/12/2018 by dsjohndrow
I think I deserve a break in life, but I guess am not going to get one - yet. Today is rather emotional for a lot of reasons - I am hanging on as I work from home - in my underwear, which are clean.
It's the little things.
For over three weeks now, I have had persistent headaches; some so severe that I went to the Emergency Room twice. Round one's diagnosis was viral - well after they gave me a CAT scan and ruled out an aneurysm or stroke. There was a battery of tests for tick- and mosquito-borne diseases. So, I left with painkillers, a $100 co-pay, and not much else.
No answers. All tests negative.
Round two this last Sunday came up with a very different diagnosis. Cervicalgia. It sounds sort of like a nonsense word from a Mary Poppins song. I had all the symptoms right down to night sweats and pain so bad it made me nauseous. They took cervical x-rays. Son a gun, some of those poses hurt like hell!!
I'm though, but this one beat me.
I now have new medication (steroids) to fix me up and I'm continuing the Nsaids. I also have a referral for an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in spines and neck injuries. I have been this route before with both my knee and my shoulder. Steroids, PT, probably an MRI and who know what else they'll want to do after that.
I am tired of the chronic pain.
I have been running as much as I can despite the weather and the headaches. I am even tired of thinking about much of anything. My head hurts. Last night I sat down to relax. There hasn't been too much of that lately if you have been keeping up with my escapades.
I rarely watch the news anymore.
I got a weather alert about flooding in our neighborhood on my mobile. We flipped on the TV and then checked with the neighbors. They filled us in on the details of living on the waterfront. We made a plan for the cars in case the parking lot flooded at high tide. It made for shallow swimming and bathing for some local birds the day before.
Then I received another alert: the governor proclaimed a mandatory evacuation for us.
I didn't even get to sit for an hour. My wife and I packed and made arrangements with some friends to get to higher ground. We also booked a hotel just in case. That was a fiasco on the hotel site as they were "sorry you just missed it" one after the other. Trying to find one close, not too expensive, and on high ground. I was really on the edge.
I was angry. My head was pounding. My wife talked me off the ledge. I got it done.
Laying down, I decided to read a little. I needed to do something. I found this article about myocarditis. "My Flu Symptoms Almost Led to Heart Failure." I had it in 2011. I spent a week in the cardiac intensive care unit.
I confess, I broke down.
Then my Apple Watch displayed the Breath app. I wanted to throw it in the f&^%ing ocean. I had another call for work, then I went an lay down again. I did breath -
I still need a break.
Today is 9/11. I knew families of some of the those lost. I missed my run in the 9/11 Memorial Park today. I am sad about.
The sun was out, but now it has started to rain. Soon it time to get in the car and head out.
9/12 - I didn't even get this done. The good news is that the forecast has gotten better and, although we are still leaving, it looks like primarily a rain event with some local flooding.
I have a few doctors appointments, and I am considering a leave of absence from work. I just want my life back.
Hold tight, if possible. All of us are holding tight for you. And if there was a way for me to become like that alien in the very first Star Trek series in the 60s, I would. She (the alien) absorbed others' pain to give them relief. I'd do that for you in a heartbeat. We all would! Can't wait for the day you are pain-free again. Hugs.
^v^