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Frosted Pumpkins

I'll be enjoying the Thanksgiving Holiday and I am posting an excerpt from my book if you haven't read it. Despite the current challenges with health and the job search, I am thankful for each day.

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends. The rest of you get back to work.

Placing pumpkins on the front steps leading up to the front door has been a tradition since I can remember. For the most part, people just look at them from afar, while a few little kids come in for a closer look. Then there are those rotten unsupervised teenagers with nothing better to do. They seem to think smashing the neighbor’s is a wise idea.
I suppose the odds of sneaking up to the front door under the cover of darkness to mug an unsuspecting and defenseless fruit and get away with it, are pretty high.

We have four dogs at the time of this writing, although by the time you read this, our application for a kennel license may have been approved removing the limit. One of them is a witch according to the most current breed information. She spends her time growling for hours to protect a piece of lint or food discarded by the other three. When she barks, it is because something is wrong. The other ones bark because they can. One night she barked at three in the morning, we had someone trying to break in the porch door. This particular night she barked, so I went to take a look. As I peered through the window, there were three boys just about to walk away with my kid’s sentimental Magic Marker artwork. I guess it’s fortunate that I have a pile of running shoes in my office. I slipped out the side door as they were hurriedly heading down the street.

Once they figured out I was after them, they dropped my pumpkins and took off running at full speed.
The chase was on. I run for a lot of causes from The American Heart Association to the local Boys and Girls Club – this – this was personal. I not only wanted to save my pumpkins, but I wanted them caught! They took an unfortunate route, one with a river on one side and a train track on the other. It was like herding pigs to the slaughter. If I could beat them to the bridge, there would only be one way out; through me. I gave out a little Dracula sort of laugh and kicked it in to high gear. I was quickly gaining on them shouting like the mad man that I am. And there on the one lane bridge I caught one by the jacket collar and then grabbed a second one by the sleeve. The third one gave up easily.

The rest is in the police report.

On the way back I was feeling pretty proud of myself and pictured the headline: Fat old guy chases down youthful pumpkin thieves. This is big news in a town like mine.

Running, everyone needs a reason.

Thanks for the votes and comments. This is an exceprt from my book: 
ICU to Marathon

32 votes + -


sadiratark wrote 68 months ago:
Way to go, David! Get those awful pumpkin thieves!
Hoppymom wrote 68 months ago:
I have this wonderful picture!! haha. Is this a new book? I don't remember it from your first one.
Mr_Bad_Example wrote 68 months ago:
Does your book come in pumpkin spice flavor?
MiloBloom83 wrote 68 months ago:
Their mistake was running in a straight line.
Holly_Roman_Empire wrote 68 months ago:
I'm not buying this story. Why would the third give up if you had your hands full with two? And why go full vigilante and make a citizen's arrest when the repercussions from one of the boys getting hurt could end up with you in a lawsuit?

rml_16 wrote 68 months ago:
Just call them Rickon.
_MotherSuperior_ wrote 68 months ago:
Well to refute your points Holly -

1. Bros are way more important than pumpkins, no matter how delicious they are when frosted. I regret not being able to adequately rhyme that second part with "hos".

2. Because decorative squash are significantly more important than the physical well-being of another person. Further, the theft of the noble Cucurbita pepo is absolutely deserving of a criminal record for childhood mischief! Have you no decency or sense of propriety! I only hope these animals get what's truly coming to them!

Dsjohndrow is not the hero winter squash deserves, but he's the one they need right now...or something.
NotShena wrote 68 months ago:
Can I get a tl;dr?
rml_16 wrote 68 months ago:
Shena -- pumpkins, teenagers stole them, the Hero ran them down, caught two, third gave up, police, you should run.
_MotherSuperior_ wrote 68 months ago:
Sena - It's essentially a treatise of the life and works of 18th century botanist Carl Linnaeus whose life was best summed up by his seminal quote, "There are three things that I've learned never discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin."
Orphanogenesis wrote 68 months ago:
David's secret identity is dsjohndrow, an American runner, chronic blogger, and self-published author. After witnessing the murder of his first love, a pumpkin he frosted as a young teen (I don't know what frosted pumpkins are buts it sounds kinky), he swore vengeance against criminals, an oath tempered by a sense of justice (no matter how disproportionate). David trains himself physically and intellectually and crafts a new blog each day to fight crime...

...and pimp his book.
EddieHaskell97 wrote 68 months ago:
Kudos to you, this vivid recollection is like vicariously living through the "bullet time" sequence of the Matrix, crossed with Daenerys Targaryen eating a horse's heart on Game of Thrones, all while riding a light cycle from Tron! I'm glad I wasn't reading this in bed, else I might have gotten too excited and frosted my wife's pumpkins after the fourth paragraph. I hope the judge/magistrate throws the book at those pumpkin pilfering pillagers and that they reflect deeply upon their actions as they pay the maximum penalty of $35.
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