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Food, Abuse and Running

I don't know about you, but I love it when someone gets on the fitness train and makes positive strides in their life. In July I met someone like that online. She had worked hard to get her life going in a positive direction. Getting the food, emotions and fitness in one direction can be very challenging. Let's face it, a half marathon for an overweight person is no small accomplishment!

Running and learning to eat well is a winning combination for so many folks.

And so it was for my virtual buddy, Tiffany. She belonged to my crazy Facebook group. On one post she commented on how she looked like Stevie Wonder while running with her signature Ray Ban Aviator glasses. She fit right into the tenor of the group. One evening she let it slip that her husband had broken her glasses in a fit of anger.  Not unlike most online groups, some of the ladies took her domestic abuse seriously and went offline with it.

The rest of us laughed and smiled at her comments and posts over the next few months.

Like the rest of the world, we have our issues. Some of them cause us to be overeaters or have other eating disorders. The things that bind us together are the common goals of weight loss and fitness. I have also found the run community to be pretty awesome too.

Here is where they were amazing. Tiffany was murdered on Tuesday along with her father. It was all in front of the 4 kids.

They pulled together and formed a hash tag to honor her and group all the posts. It was even picked up by a local news channel and then I heard it on national news. #prgRunsForTiffany Check it out on Twitter, but especially Facebook. I am proud of the members and as you know, a lot of them are on MFP too.

Yes, I am still grieving, in shock and even angry about my friend who made me smile and wore sunglasses and t-shirts with peace signs on the front. This is just a little vent for me. Some days life is so darn serious. I am glad that I have running to manage them.

63 votes + -

18 comments:

cbmcphillips wrote 78 months ago:
David,

I'm very sad that this happened.
Stay strong and pull together with the rest of the group.

Carol
ldesomer wrote 78 months ago:
David,

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
My ex-husband was extremely abusive. I'm one of the lucky ones who finally got away. Not every one is that lucky. There are too many stories like Tiffany's and it breaks my heart every time I read one. I always think, that could've been me and I thank God once again that I survived.

Please stay strong!

Mustangsally1000 wrote 78 months ago:
I don't even know what to say. I'm truly sorry for those 4 kids, for you, her family, friends. I hope they have the man responsible for this in custody! Thank you for sharing...
MyChocolateDiet wrote 78 months ago:
Sad.
annabellj wrote 78 months ago:
im so sorry david.there are no words...
Smgrooms1210 wrote 78 months ago:
So sorry for your loss of a diet buddy and loss of an online friend. Again, no words to express the atrocities she endured in her life as well as how her life was cut short.
annethom1980 wrote 78 months ago:
Sorry for your loss
Anamika703 wrote 78 months ago:
Sometimes the smallest of signals lead to a mountain of grief! So sorry for Tiffany!
iRun_Butterfly wrote 78 months ago:
This is so tragic and horrible. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, for the loss of those poor children's mother and grandfather. I am from Northern Michigan, this has been all over the news.
dsjohndrow wrote 78 months ago:
I had a clip in the Run for Tiffany newscast.
RisingAboveIt wrote 78 months ago:
I am so sorry. What a horrible tragedy. While looking up the hashtag (I don't use Twitter and wasn't sure how to post my runs as being for her), I found this site selling t-shirts to benefit her four children and her mother:

https://www.booster.com/tiffanyecklerfergusonchildrensmemorialfund
sofaking6 wrote 78 months ago:
I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. I have seen similar posts here on MFP from people being abused, and have been shocked and disappointed by responses telling them they don't deserve better, that the sanctity of marriage trumps everything. Hopefully they will see this story and think more carefully about these situations.
futuresize8 wrote 78 months ago:
David, I'm sorry for your loss. Really sorry for the family, too.

To Sofaking6, I'm with you ...the people who say that the "sanctity of marriage" should trump all else have never feared for their lives (or the lives of their children) in their own homes. The "worse" part of the "For better or for worse" phrase has to do with socks on the floor, a lost job, or forgetting an anniversary...it isn't about putting up with getting punched or threatened or being frightened. There are some marriages that shouldn't have happened in the first place!
perseverance14 wrote 78 months ago:
So sorry for your loss, what a sad and tragic story, I wish she would have left while she could have.
karinaApplebombinos wrote 78 months ago:
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for writing this piece.
boatsie77 wrote 78 months ago:
On Monday I have a 10-mile run scheduled in prep for my 1st full marathon. I dedicate that run to Tiffany & her dad and will direct my energy to her children, mom & all the family & friends she held dear. She passed the baton to all us runners she left behind, and with the ease and grace of angels wings, she will carry us along on our many miles.
boatsie77 wrote 78 months ago:
Today I ran my 10 miles in memory of Tiffany and her dad. I prayed for her children and Mom that they will soon find their way through the pain and find comfort and joy on the other side. I prayed that the abused, that they would find the courage and strength to find their way out. I prayed for the abusers, that they would seek a cure to heal the awful hurt they experience inside that leads them to hurting the ones who love them the most. It's said that the cure for everything is saltwater...tears, sweat or the sea. I am blessed to live near a gorgeous park on the Gulf of Mexico with some running trails. Today, I ran along the gulf and shed tears and sweat, hoping for a cure to the pain and sadness bought about by domestic violence.

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