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Don't Be a Fat Head! - Change Your Thinking

Can you believe the things that quickly become habits? It's like buying a dozen donuts, one bite and the box is gone. Overweight and obese people (like me) just think about food in strange ways - we fall in love with it, we talk to it, we romance it, and well for some, it's worse that.

I have to say I am pretty sane, and at the same time I can be seduced by the pink curves of a Hostess Sno-Ball; all while I was minding my own business being faithful to my food log! It is violent out there. I have been mugged by pancakes, lied to by "healthy" food labels, and was once attacked by a vicious key lime pie with 3000 MG of sodium per slice! Picture me pulling out a Baretta handgun in the frozen food aisle and narrowly escaping through the pet aisle of my local grocery store as I jump over a stock clerk. I am in a cold sweat until I get in to the car! Then my first through is maybe a box of Ho-Ho's wouldn't have been too bad if I ate just one a day.

I loved telling my older brother a few years back, "I may be fat but you are stupid and bald, and I can lose weight get a mullet!"

Well, now that I have been at this for awhile, believe it or not, my thinking has changed. It is still not straight, but it is much more weight conscious! Here's how:

- The Damn Label: It's like your parent's walking in on you while you are making out with the captain of the Cheerleading squad. 300 freakin' calories for one cookie, that's 2 miles walking at a brisk pace!

- Processed Foods: WTF, does everything that tastes good have to be filled with fat, sugar, salt, and carcinogens?! For God's sake I bought some grass fed beef for $20 a pound. UCK! I am just going to eat the grass myself. (Actually, with McCormack's Cajun spice I got it up to the level of Outback Steak House!)

- Low Cal:  What the heck does that mean? Really, they tried to fool us back in the 70's with diet bread; it was just half the thickness of un-diet bread so I ate 2 pieces. It seems that a daily habit of diet soda increases the risks of heart attack.

- Dairy Queen: I swear I just stopped there to a get a bubble with a kitty in it for my daughter, that's all!  And they don't have any dang kittens!

- Christmas Presents: I asked for a Bow-Flex, what the hell is happening to me? I could have 60" TV to watch the Stanley Cup playoffs!?

How about you, how has your thinking changed?

32 votes + -

16 comments:

Ayndelady wrote 131 months ago:
I blogged about my affair with potato chips. I love their crisp salty goodness.
I am my own worst enemy when it comes to the chips. Damn you chips! Damn you!
dsjohndrow wrote 131 months ago:
Yeah, if it was only the chips....
chrissym78 wrote 131 months ago:
I thought I was the only one who had this issue at the store?! I had to mace a package of Oreo's last week... they were stalking me I swear!
dianne3642 wrote 131 months ago:
oh my gosh! you are definitely my soulmate - or soul(food)mate! I relate 100% to your blog, and to all the comments about it!
dsjohndrow wrote 131 months ago:
LOL
caramkoala wrote 131 months ago:
Thanks for the lulz :)
chedges9090 wrote 131 months ago:
when I was at the grocery store last week--- I swear the freezer cases-- full of pizza rolls-- were just laughing at me. "double-dog daring" me to buy/eat them!
Kirabelly wrote 131 months ago:
I no longer fantasize about the scrumptious options for meals (that are 3000 calories a pop usually). Instead I focus on what will have the most bang for my nutritional buck. Lots of protein and yumminess for fewest calories and fat and carbs etc.! Bang for my buck used to be the biggest portion at a chain restaurant for the cheapest price and I'd eat it ALL!
Tisha247 wrote 131 months ago:
Yeah yeah food bad, it's addictive, I get it.

This is something off the subject. Here I am, an Australian girl who grew up in cattle country in the friggin outback who visited the USA and discovered a whole chain of bloody of American restaurants using our Australiana logo "Outback" to sell food to Americans. Very sure this chain isn't Australian owned! or genuine. I feel raped, sorry this just shits me. That is all.
staroftheeast wrote 131 months ago:
Potato chips stalk me always and anything chocolate wants me to take it home so it won't be an orphan. LOL. Keep up the great job. I wish you a long healthy life.
Hoppymom wrote 131 months ago:
This is so true! I recently mentioned to someone that I when I first started eating healthily I missed Diet Coke like an abusive lover. I craved it and missed it and wanted to hold that beautiful, sweaty, cold, silver can and drink up. But when we were together Diet Coke treated me badly by making my muscles hurt, clouding my mind, not letting me sleep well and by increasing my appetite. It took a while but I am so over that addiction.
I must also admit that I am not eating candy corn. A challenge at this time of year. But the other day my husband and I were in line at the store near a candy corn display. I picked up the bag and literally smelled it with a big inhalation. My husband was a bit embarrassed but I didn't buy it. :)
Great blog.
Keep them coming!
suzi67 wrote 131 months ago:
Lol, kitten in a bubble. Took me a bit to remember the commercial, but then it clicked. Too funny!
sihon wrote 131 months ago:
Once my aerobic instructor said soemthing that i always keep in mind. She said "Never ever ever go food shopping with an empty stomach". If you do you will crave all kinds of foods (mostly the addictive cookies, icecreams, pizza etc) because they are a quick fix to your hunger. You will walk out the door with all the junk food in the world, because when you are hungry...u forget about diet.

So now i make sure i eat before i buy food...cookies are less tempting when i am full.

hope this helps with your stalker issue
dsjohndrow wrote 131 months ago:
@Suzi - yes, the phrase is a link to the YouTube.com of the commercial. It really cracks me up - but then again I am easily amused!
jenbit wrote 131 months ago:
I read a Taco bell menu and it made me cry lol I spend much of my time in the frozen food isle playing least in sight with the ice cream
ElaKuz wrote 131 months ago:
Street vendor hotdogs were flirting with me for weeks... so last night after fighting off their advances with valiant effort I ate one.
Seriously.
When eating a hotdog gives you satisfaction you have issues.

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