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David's 13 Fad Diets for 2012!

It's the New Year, and for those that have not fallen off the wagon, and who are hanging in there this third week of January, you might be thinking there is an easier way! Every diet guru has a personal secret to losing weight with the least amount of effort, change in life style or exercise! Here is a list of diets that will probably never catch on:

The North Beach Diet or Maine Diet: Consisting of primarily of snow and seaweed, but high in sodium. In phase 2 you can eat lobster.

Craig's Diet: The Jenny Craig diet on Craigslist for half price; sort of like Ikea furniture.

The Red Pepper Diet: Simply add one heaping tablespoon of cayenne red pepper to an 8oz glass of 2% milk. High in protein. Add your favorite berries for a your daily requirement of antioxidants.

Slakins: This is pretty much sitting on the couch wishing you were thin.

Vegetarian Diet: This diet is filled with fruits, veggies and wannabe hamburgers! A balanced diet in which you avoid eating animal crackers.

Raw Food Diet: This is the one for people that hate to cook! Warning, consuming raw chicken and pork is not recommended, but do let us know how it goes.

Slim Quick: Lots of reports on this one being out there, but no one claiming any results. ;)

The System: Lose weight while eating lots of sodium from cardboard boxes as you wear a cut-off flannel shirt . If you call now. we'll double the sodium and throw in an extra flannel shirt for free + shipping and handling.

The Junk Food Diet: For real, some guy lost 27 pounds only eating Twinkies, Ho Ho's and Doritos.

The Ornery Diet: No meat fish or alcohol and lots of fiber! No wonder the guy is ornery, he probably spends a lot of time reading in the "library" stone cold sober.

The Bone Diet: My dog lost about 2 pounds in one day on this one. He sure did seem happy to eat the dry food after that experiment.

The Eagle Diet: You can eat anything that you can catch and hold with your feet. Consists primarily of fresh uncooked fish.

The Zig-Zag Diet: Requires 4 or more alcoholic beverages before walking home from the Sports Bar.

I didn't mention the Pale Diet because it is simply avoiding the sun, hanging out on the Internet in your mother's basement.

Need more? Here is another list supplied by my friend CessnaHolly: Seared Ostrich

All kidding aside, isn't it time we just stuck to the basics of counting calories, eating a balanced diet of healthy foods, and getting proper exercise?

Thanks for your votes and comments, you guys are amazing!

Friend me at your own risk!

123 votes + -


aliciagetshealthy wrote 119 months ago:
I do believe the "Slakins" diet has been in practice for many years now...the marketing people just haven't figured out a way to actually make people pay for it yet thou ;)
76wendyful wrote 119 months ago:
Slakins! I love it!
kardowling wrote 119 months ago:
Love it! The "eating only your weaker hand diet" helps too. My left hand is getting tired though. Good burn there maybe too!
DEEDLYNN wrote 119 months ago:
I think I have tried each and every one of those. Along with the Cabbage Poop Diet....(oops...I meant soup!). DRATS
Hoppymom wrote 119 months ago:
Seriously, the inside of your head is....intriguing and very funny.
cessnaholly wrote 119 months ago:
Dude - these are hilarious.
czechsmate wrote 119 months ago:
I like the Maine Diet...well, the second phase anyway since it's quite unlike the see-food diet.
aliciamille wrote 119 months ago:
you know what, this might be a sin (haha), but I don't even like Weight Watchers. I also consider that a fad diet.

I've never used it, but people who do use it tell me that things with a decent amount of calories (but are healthy) are zero a banana. WTH? Bananas are like 100 calories. They're not zero anything! That's just one example.

sure, Jennifer Hudson looks hot now...but I'm sure I would too if I had my own trainer and millions of dollars. Rant over. Funny blog entry! it was great :)
MommyTKD wrote 119 months ago:
Don't forget my personal favorite.... the California Cookie Diet. Which sounds awesome like you can eat cookies and still look like a celebrity. Until you try the cookies. Celebrity's not worth it.
rugbyplayer85 wrote 119 months ago:
I love this post! I've definitely done the zig zag diet recently lol.
bllowry wrote 119 months ago:

I have been asked so many times what diet I'm on by co-workers only to have them flummoxed when I tell them I'm not on a diet!
cfreema wrote 119 months ago:
avoid eating animal crackers! HA! I snorted when i read that one! I will have to pass. I seriously love chocolate animal crackers! ;)
hauntgoddess wrote 119 months ago:
My brother is doing the Paleo diet, and actually lost 9 lbs in a week. It seems pretty crazy; you eat stuff that they would eat in the Paleo era.
jlc1243 wrote 119 months ago:
This is great!
JustLindaLou wrote 119 months ago:
Well the Junk Food diet would get Hostess out of financial trouble if enough people get with the program!
cantjustcant wrote 119 months ago:
I tried the raw diet including the pork! It was followed closely by the tape worm diet which has been a huge success!
whiskey9890 wrote 119 months ago:
i'd have thought having raw pork and chicken on the raw food diet would make it pretty damned effective
ShannanLaNae wrote 119 months ago:
NikkieLite wrote 119 months ago:
I'm a Mainer so that first one is my favorite. :P
odditblue wrote 119 months ago:
I figure I can do the feline diet... I got six cats... that will last for a little while. >^..^<
Florawanda wrote 119 months ago:
There is an ad for some cutlery with built in weights in the handles, with the heaviest being on the spoon! So you get to workout while you eat!!
libland wrote 119 months ago:
I lived on twinkies and doritos in high school :)... oh I miss those days of eating whatever I wanted and immediately burning it off.
harleigh67 wrote 119 months ago:
i think thw slakins or zigzag is the diet for me...LOL

although I zigzzg with out the alcohol,
ORjezebel wrote 119 months ago:
you are pretty much my MFP hero by this point. Thanks for the giggles and info

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