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Cancer Sucks and Cuddly Kittens

Some of you know that I have been around here for a few years. It's not that important. I stuck with the plan and lost a lot of weight, not to mention I can run a marathon and fit in some much smaller clothes.

I also made some people on the message boards mad.

I have had 5 surgeries since I showed up as a Photoshopped profile picture on MFP. The heart surgery was only cosmetic. :) I had my knee repaired and I liked that so much I also had my rotator cuff repaired too.

Last fall, just a few weeks before my first marathon, I had a surgical biopsy. The diagnosis? A malignant tumor. WTF, what I really wanted was liposuction and a tummy tuck to complete the weight loss process. According to the doctor, the tumor is small - compared to what, I don't know - maybe my head.

Cancer sucks. We all know why.

As a follow up, and to get a second opinion, I had another biopsy last Thursday. My previous experience was not a lot of fun. I am pretty much immune to the effects of lidocaine, a local anaesthetic for the people that it works for. Instead of switching me to something new, they gave me more of the one that didn't work. Did I say I was pretty much immune to the effects?

You may want to cover the children's eyes.

Here is a half naked guy with an ultrasound probe strategically placed in the location where my ex-wife swears my head was. Truthfully it felt more like they took all the office furniture and shoved it up there. And oh damn, then they accidently were a little rough on whatever it is up there that doesn't get a touch of local anaesthesia. Then they proceed with the biopsy which feels like you were snapped with a large rubber band on the buttocks. 12 times. Did I mention they took 2 needles to inject antibiotics, one of which was pure molten steel?

Before the procedure I was just wishing it was over because I had the same one late last year. #4 if you are counting. After the procedure, I just wished I was dead. I was in pain and nauseous from the drugs.

Now the recovery process starts. That includes blood. Supposedly it's not much, but I consider mine almost as precious as that of Jesus, and when given the option, I like to keep it in my body. 45 minutes later I lay on the bathroom floor waiting for the pain to subside. I went into shock and my pulse dropped to 39.

As I stated earlier, I have had a number of surgeries and none of them hurt like this.

The ladies are thinking, "oh, now you know what it's like to give birth." Well, I did ask for an epidural and never got one. But whatever it is I gave birth to, I won't have to send it to college or pay for a wedding.

When you have been diagnosed with cancer, you think about a lot of things. Will I die? This sucks and will it suck more? What is the treatment? Can I run? Will I miss work? Will the treatment make me feel sick? And will I die? That questions shows up more often then, "Is there sex in Heaven?"

Venting a little helps. The problem is that someone would rather tell you about an uncle who died from cancer then spend much time just letting you ramble.

So here I am, on the verge of one of the most amazing experiences of my lifetime (however long that is), and I don't get to think about it that much. For the most part the bleeding has subsided, and I am looking forward to a run after work. It's just 5 weeks until the Boston Marathon. It's the last year the the Hoyt's will be running. It's the first year since the bombings. I heard they have free kittens at one of the water stops. I can't wait.

66 votes + -


Leahbcc wrote 101 months ago:
Stay stron and you got this and well running with a kitty not to sure on that one
tonybalony01 wrote 101 months ago:
Ramble on, my friend. And stop and pet the kittens.
cbmcphillips wrote 101 months ago:
Stay Boston Strong - and if you run into a kitty, give it a stroke for good luck (as long as it's not black)... and you have our permission to vent.... hopefully you will be back to your normal funny self again soon....
Time2LoseWeightNOW wrote 101 months ago:
This is what we are here for...Ramble on Tony says...
Denjo060 wrote 101 months ago:
I agree cancer does suck! Ramble as much as you want
johnwhitent wrote 101 months ago:
Ramble on? Are we talking Led Zeppelin here? Now it's in my head. Could do worse, much worse. Ramble on, friend!
DaddioCoolCat wrote 101 months ago:
Way to go, David! Ramble on, Back in Black (ACDC), Hell's Bells (ACDC), all fav's on my playlist. Rock on (written by another David, David Essex), dude.
Dootzy1 wrote 101 months ago:
I flippin' love your spirit!!!!
TrailRunner61 wrote 101 months ago:
Yes, cancer sucks.. a lot. But, you have proven that you are a strong person and that you can get through anything! Ramble all you want, I love listening!
angie007az wrote 101 months ago:
You are the strongest person I know. God Bless you for your spirit and will to be healthy. I am with you in spirit, rooting for you all the way. You are amazing. Glad that procedure is over and hope all goes well and you live to be 95 at least. My dad lived to be 92 with one kidney. You got this.
Chickabittie wrote 101 months ago:
Yes, cancer sucks. I know you can kick it's sorry a%&! You are strong and healthy, and there is no reason for you not to CRUSH it!
goodasgoldilox165 wrote 101 months ago:
Good to see you writing and fighting.

In the stories of miraculous recoveries and inexplicable disappearing tumours... the complete change of lifestyle of the patient sometimes passes unremarked. You seem to be on the right track for a lucky miracle.

Best wishes to you and your family.
Anonymous wrote 101 months ago:
Holy crap, David...your description of this procedure had me holding my breath and fighting back tears. How awful. Some of the best sarcasm I've read--->>> had to be pure hell on you. Hugs, my friend....seriously, huge hugs. I am praying for a small dose of amnesia regarding this procedure as you look forward to BOSTON. Go, David, go!
Anonymous wrote 101 months ago:
Oh....that was my comment..... I'm anonymous, I guess.
-Kris Meadows
kjdhappy wrote 101 months ago:
You've been strong for so long - it's ok to be human and just let it all out (no pun intended). Makes the rest of us feel like we have a chance of being half as strong as you have been the last couple of years. Boston will be amazing! Enjoy every moment.
allaboutthecake wrote 101 months ago:
Cancer sux.
kelsully wrote 101 months ago:
F#$kCancer. Kick it's ass and keep being a touch SOB
HelenTalocchino wrote 101 months ago:
As a Cancer Survivor, all i can say is stay positive. I'm a Stage 4 cancer - was given 6 - 24 months. Now 1 year later it isn't active. Carrot juice and positive thoughts did the trick.
jackflak wrote 101 months ago:
I'm right there with you. Lose a bunch of weight and then kicked in the face(or junk as it were) with a high psa score. Biopsy done and 2 of 12 samples 80% positive. Blah. Helen's right though. Positive thoughts. I'm looking at Proton Beam Therapy. Very little side effects.
larryc0923 wrote 101 months ago:
Ramble on!!
dsjohndrow wrote 101 months ago:
I should have details soon. And yes I pray, and eat a lot of carrots. Occasionally it feels overwhelming.
VeeBethTris wrote 101 months ago:
I say run with a backpack and stick the kitten in there with you. It should feel overwhelming, it's an overwhelming thing. Just continue to share, vent, talk, run, write, pray, repeat. I will pray along with your huge group of supporters. When you fall, we will pick you up :)

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