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Cancer Sucks

Some of you know that I have been around here for a few years. It's not that important. I stuck with the plan and lost a lot of weight, not to mention I can run a marathon and fit in some much smaller clothes.

I also made some people on the message boards mad.

I have had 17 surgeries since I showed up as a Photoshopped profile picture on MFP. The heart surgery was only cosmetic. :) I had my knee repaired and I liked that so much I also had my rotator cuff repaired too.

Then there was the colon tumor, a number of melanoma surgeries and some other crap.

In 2013, just a few weeks before my first marathon, I had a surgical biopsy. The diagnosis? A malignant tumor. WTF, what I really wanted was liposuction and a tummy tuck to complete the weight loss process. According to the doctor, the tumor is small - compared to what, I don't know - maybe my head.

Cancer sucks. We all know why.

Here is the picture for tomorrow, July 2016: There is a half naked guy with an ultrasound probe strategically placed in the location where my ex-wife swears my head was. Truthfully it felt more like they took all the office furniture and shoved it up there. And oh damn, then they accidentally were a little rough on whatever it is up there that doesn't get a touch of local anesthesia. Then they proceed with the biopsy which feels like you were snapped with a large rubber band on the buttocks. 16 times. Did I mention they took 2 needles to inject antibiotics, one of which was pure molten steel?

After the last 5 procedures like this, I just wished I was dead.

This is followed by the recovery process, which includes blood. Supposedly it's not much, but I consider mine almost as precious as that of Jesus, and when given the option, I like to keep it in my body. It seems to come from everywhere.

I have had a number of different surgeries and none of them hurt like this.

The ladies are thinking, "oh, now you know what it's like to give birth." Well, I did ask for an epidural and never got one. But whatever it is I gave birth to, I won't have to send it to college or pay for a wedding.

When you have been diagnosed with cancer, you think about a lot of things. Will I die? This sucks and will it suck more? What is the treatment plan? Can I run? Will I miss work? Will the treatment make me feel sick? And, "will I die?" That question shows up more often then, "Is there sex in Heaven?"

Venting a little helps. The problem is that someone would rather tell you about an uncle who died from cancer then spend much time just letting you ramble.

So that's it for today. My buddy Charlie is driving down from New Hampshire to drive me back and forth. Then I will get back to looking for work.

108 votes + -

55 comments:

johnwhitent wrote 73 months ago:
Ramble on, my friend!
Leahbcc wrote 73 months ago:
LICK CANCERS ASS ~ YOU GOT THIS
kendallvon wrote 73 months ago:
Vent on... that's what we're here for.
Dootzy1 wrote 73 months ago:
Your writing is good for you and others. Breathe. Pray. Laugh. Repeat. You are blessed with a resilient soul. Hostile forces to be battled in our lifespans, and mercy.....wondering why you have to be in the front lines of so many.
luluinca wrote 73 months ago:
I'm sorry you're going through all this. I know sometimes it feels like it's just too much. Hang in there and keep sharing if that helps. You're going to be one of the survivors and we'll all learn from you!
Anonymous wrote 73 months ago:
I absolutely LOVE your posts and sense of humor... I love the way you can take serious subject matter and make it light and relatable... trust me, I don't want cancer or wish it on anyone but you sure make it funny - love ya man and wish nothing but the best for you!
joanthemom8 wrote 73 months ago:
You sure are a strong person! I hope things improve for you! It seems so unfair that just when you are working on improving your health habits you get blindsided by cancer.
nancyleephillips wrote 73 months ago:
Vent and ramble as much as you want. Keeping you in my thoughts.
jmnicholas wrote 73 months ago:
So glad you have friends locally to help. Praying from this side of the 'pond'. God bless.
solieco1 wrote 73 months ago:
We are here, we are listening, we are supporting you...ramble, vent, scream, do whatever helps. <3
MrsMizzart wrote 73 months ago:
Rant and ramble all you need to m'duck.
kacdragon wrote 73 months ago:
You keep venting along here! I, as one of many, find your attitude, humor in the face of adversity, and persistence something to not only to admire, but to use as a laser beam for my own life! Thanks for sharing the downs as well as the ups!
Time2LoseWeightNOW wrote 73 months ago:
Ramble as much as you need!

JeromeBarry1 wrote 73 months ago:
My step-mother has defeated cancer 3 times. She has not fought a long time. She's licked 3 different cancers.
Breadbar wrote 73 months ago:
Here to listen any time you need to rant
Hoppymom wrote 73 months ago:
Awww that sucks. AND you have to find a new job!?! Your ability to continue on,: running, logging, and being funny is amazing. I'm sorry your are hurting and you sound really lonely. Long distance hugs aren't very comforting but know that I am praying for you.
nats2508 wrote 73 months ago:
Ramble on! If it makes you feel better, that's just fine with me. Cancer sucks!!
beckydragonpoet wrote 73 months ago:
My dad has had 2 forms of Cancer and MS and is still rocking on. Although he may be a robot so I don't know how much spirit lifting you'll get from that. ^_^

It's going to be ok. I hope your butt gets better.

In the mean time lace up your shoes and get back on the trail as soon as possible. You are an inspiration and your rambling helps too.
tj0861 wrote 73 months ago:
Yes, cancer sucks. And yes, you NEED to vent. It's important for your mental health.
SilverSheWolf55 wrote 73 months ago:
Yes, Cancer sucks in more ways than one. I agree, with all....please keep your sense of humor. And by all means, vent, vent, vent! It's good for your soul.
Harleygirl2014 wrote 73 months ago:
You ramble on as much as you can! Your words are inspiring, they speak to me of your resilience and determination to fight like hell to live your life. Soldier on sir!
erwingeminie20 wrote 73 months ago:
I'm not promoting anything. But did you recently watched the movie "Forks Over Knives". Because there is a part there where an old woman, maybe around her 60s or 70s, who is also an athlete but was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. She just do a strict plant-based diet and that help her fight it out. If you think you'd tried all that will help you fight your Cancer, why not try this one. Hope that helps you.

Thank you for reading.
ruperthumphrey wrote 73 months ago:
I really appreciate you sharing your experience, good and bad. I have been fortunate that mine was caught in time and had not spread. I will never forget how sick I was and scared.
I get tested regularly. I check in on your posts once in a while, I am certainly hoping and praying that all goes well for you.
Take care
Tami8258 wrote 73 months ago:
I am a cancer survivor of 4 different types of cancer, now I and dealing with heart issues, Cancer does suck! And I wish you good luck with your issues. Sending thought and prayers
KMBx2Skiers wrote 73 months ago:
Ramble and rant as much as you need! I fought my own battle with Cancer (ovarian, stage IIC)3 years ago and got lucky. Wishing you the same - good luck and keep fighting!
KassiesJourney wrote 73 months ago:
:(
cancer does suck and I am so sorry you have had to deal with that
ssaraj43 wrote 73 months ago:
Thanks for this. I love your humor. I'm starting my super duper weight loss program Monday with my first of eight rounds of AC-TH. Thinking I'll reach my goal weight when they take the other boob. You're not alone. Beast of luck to you <3
lelerich wrote 73 months ago:
Hey! First of all, GOD bless you. You need it! You are funny in spite of everything. My Mom was just diagnosed (withing a couple of weeks) with breast cancer, then uterine cancer. Not related, just a coincidence. Whatever. Anyway, I do have to wonder if the treatment is worse than the disease. However, if you're still here, there's a reason. Vent, get it out, feel better, and try to really live (???) I hope you beat it! Hugs to you!
MaryQueenofWalking wrote 73 months ago:
I commend you for a sense of humor through all of this - but really, if we don't laugh we may cry! It made me laugh even as I was feeling your pain, figuratively. Hang in there!
saadagio wrote 73 months ago:
I know what you are going through, my husband was diagnose with Lung Cancer. So go right ahead and VENT all you want. I pray that your doctors find the right treatment for you and that you will be on the right road for recovery.. Keep fighting the fight. It is worth it at the end. Hang in there my friend. Praying for you.
kyoder6665 wrote 73 months ago:
Thanks for making me laugh, even though cancer is nothing to laugh about! I am a stage IV colon cancer survivor! Cancer tried to shut down my liver but after staying on target with mega chemo treatments, my cancer is in remission. Best to you and your family.
1Nana2many wrote 73 months ago:
David, Since this was posted on the 11th, I am assuming that you have had your biopsy and are now moving through recovery mode. I have only gone through one biopsy and it was not as complicated as yours and ended with good results, however I do vividly remember those hours and days and the thoughts that go through your mind about all the what ifs and they're never optimistic what ifs. I hope knowing that many, many people have included you in their prayers is of some comfort to you as you have so often inspired others in their journey to better health with your humor and your hard-core kicks in the pants too. In the words of J.M. Barrie: "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." May the sun shine brightly upon you as move forward in this marathon called life. Matthew 6:27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Thinking of you.
mrstanley740 wrote 73 months ago:
You made me smile having left the house on a 30mile cycle ride to come off after 30metres, blow my tyre and f**k up my arms and legs. Well done you!!
Sharonks wrote 73 months ago:
Keep your sense of humor through this. This year I had a chunk of bone removed and oh, well, we didn't get it all so we need to remove another chunk. Still recovering from that surgery. Now doing radiation since this cancer doesn't respond to chemo (that is both good and bad). Need physical therapy to help the missing muscle recover. I feel like my cancer is a full time job. Keep laughing and hopefully I can laugh with you.
Anonymous wrote 73 months ago:

sorry you have to go thru this Dave

Steve B
thenananator wrote 73 months ago:
A little old church in Little ol' Tacoma WA full of folks will lift your name in coming weeks. Cancer does suck. No two ways about it and to you sir, I say: you do you and vent in any way that brings a peaceful moment to your mind, a settling in your soul, and a smile to your face. Carmen
Pamela_June wrote 73 months ago:
We are all here for you ..... anytime.. all the time! YOU my friend are one AWESOME person!
krmsotherhalf68 wrote 73 months ago:
I also found your post inspiring. If we can't rant, ramble, and vent with friends; then what are friends for? As a two-time breast cancer survivor, I share some of your sentiments. I belong to a cancer support group at our church and your sense of humor in the face of adversity reminded me of what one of our priests said about going through cancer and coming out the other side. (He's a five-time cancer survivor at 83 yrs. young, mind you. The first skin cancer he had was diagnosed over 50 years ago; the day JFK was assassinated and since then, he's had many skin cancers, kidney cancer, and last month a melanoma on the top of his head.) His attitude is positively inspirational and he said that one piece of advice he'd give the group, aside from having doctors you trust and can talk to about anything, was to have a sense of humor and surround yourself with positive people. Keep the faith! ; )
WendyLaubach wrote 73 months ago:
I hear you!
lisaleebryan wrote 73 months ago:
That totally SUCKS!
My dad died at age 52 from a sarcoma after a 6 year battle. And, he battled for sure. When he would go to his chemo treatments, he would wear a hat that said "Cancer Sucks" on it. He made my mom embroider those words on that hat, even though she HATES the word "sucks". But, it does.

Good for you to write about your experience. I am sorry you have had to go through all that you have. I am glad you are still fighting. It is a fight, and it isn't fair and it SUCKS!

Thank you for sharing!
marlown wrote 73 months ago:
Just being able to vent (i.e. ramble) is somewhat therapeutic. Please do that here, as it actually inspires and encourages others, even when the "news" is a little graphic and not always great. Your writings always inspire me (and many others..), so please keep sharing. Fingers and toes crossed and thoughts are with you.
mockchoc wrote 73 months ago:
So easy to see how much strength you have.You are a winner for sure. Look after yourself, eat, rest, meditate do some light exercise you love and you will kick it's butt.
noctilumina wrote 73 months ago:
Fuck cancer! You're amazing!
twistygirl wrote 73 months ago:
Loved your post and it was right on time my Sister just got diagnosed with a rare type of breast cancer she starts her treatment on Thursday it's been a little tough. Your post is a reminder not to take life for granted.. tomorrow isn't promised and to live each day with out all the complaining and whining someone would gladly switch places with you....Fight on BC you Rock!!!!
nattygonz wrote 73 months ago:
Cancer does suck. 6 years after second diagnosis (first in 2007) and I'm still fighting. You can complain all you want, as long as you stay strong and kick it's ass. I'm working on it, too. God bless!
Finding_Tina wrote 73 months ago:
You are pretty awesome, strong and amazing. Venting away, and get support. You rock.
Anniepi66 wrote 73 months ago:
Rant, rave, curse (cuss!), stomp your feet, slap something/someone, cry, do whatever you wish. Any one of us here will listen to you and nod and understand, especially those of us who have had and have survived that piece-of-crap cancer. We've got your back and you have our ears! Blessings and hugs. Awesome post from an awesome man.
Anniepi66 wrote 73 months ago:
Rant, rave, curse (cuss!), stomp your feet, slap something/someone, cry, do whatever you wish. Any one of us here will listen to you and nod and understand, especially those of us who have had and have survived that piece-of-crap cancer. We've got your back and you have our ears! Blessings and hugs. Awesome post from an awesome man.
kgrozek wrote 73 months ago:
I'm sorry this has happened to you. You are strong, and you can get through this. Write about it. Talk about it. We'll be your sounding board. I'm a breast cancer survivor myself. Know that you're not alone. Take care of yourself.
littlelaura wrote 73 months ago:
I have known you a few years and will say that you are a good guy. You keep trying to improve yourself and try very hard to eat healthy and enjoy your running. This cancer thing seems rampant lately everywhere, despite doing all the right things. Is it more prevalent or is it we are simply just older and everyone we know is older so we hear of it more often. Either way, you are right, it sucks! Will you die? Someday obviously but I hope not anytime soon. It is a frightening question especially when facing cancer. I wish we simply all had 100 years in healthy bodies and upon our 100th birthday at midnight after a final celebration we simply went to sleep and then awake in heaven with the rest of our family and friends. This is how it should be. I will pray your biopsies show something good, keep hanging on, keep your hope and faith alive knowing you are worth this fight. You have a team of family and friends surrounding you with love and positive vibes. Faith is the bird that feels the light Yet sings while the dawn is still dark! Believe in a bright future filled with happiness and renewed health despite weathering this dark storm, all of this will pass. You are strong, courageous, and a fighter. I believe in you. ev
Though this road your on is long, you are not alone, if you feel scared, reach out for my hand. Hugs!
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