Can You Hear Me Now? Unfortunately Yes!
Posted on 10/23/2011 by dsjohndrow
Gym goers are often annoying, and on occasion I would like to say, "Have a nice cup of shut the FRONT door!"
If you are serious about losing weight, you've probably gone to a gym, or possibly thought about joining one. Although most people have an iPod and mind their own business, there are still those that insist on old fashioned communication: mindless gum flapping. Evidently, they need more strenuous workouts.
Here are some things I have overheard; many, which I wish I didn't.
"I was wondering if I could bum a pair of headphones?" (Fat man to cute girl.)
"I just completed a marathon. CSI, yeah, I love Gil Grissom." (I think this was a pickup line!)
"Can I adjust your heart rate monitor, it looks a little low?" (I didn't dear look over my shoulder!)
"No kidding, you did that without human growth hormones?"
"Those are huge!"
"Tell me, does my backside make your car look small."
"I am not drooling; I forgot the cap to my water bottle."
"I think my arms are swollen."
"Now ladies lay on your backs." (Trainers, right?)
"I know that all the other treadmills are empty, but this one has the best view."
"My trainer hates me, I don't groan, I scream."
"Now class, pick up your balls." (The same trainers!)
"For the next excruciating minute..."
"This is a kettle bell; no it doesn't ring, but if you drop it on your foot…"
"I swear invisible jump rope is harder than the real thing."
"Gentleman, these are treadmills, let's get it up."
"I am using the new video treadmill program but I don't like these people on the path, they slow me down."
"I didn't spit in the drinking fountain, I threw up." (First week of a new lifestyle.)
"I swear if that guy cracks a pose in front of the mirror one more time, I am going to throw a dumbbell at him!"
"Get off the floor, we are just getting started!"
"Pssst - Just because you have headphones on doesn't mean that people can't hear you fart."
Thanks in advance for the comments and votes, you guys are awesome! (And it is directly tied to my self esteem barometer.)
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Love the blog!!
I didn't hear this one, but I was at the gym at 5am, picked the farthest most isolated treadmill to do my HIIT on and some guy decided the one next to me would be the best choice when the rest were empty. Don't try your pick up lines on me when I'm running 9 mph! Are you trying to kill me?!
Awesome, haha!
this is soooooo good!!!