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20 Questions to See Where you Stand

Have you ever wondered what the hell you were thinking when you decided to change your pathetic lifestyle? When I read the message boards and look back over my own journey, I sort of cringe.

I settled for less for years. I could have been taking better care of myself, but I didn't really see the future.

If you identify with me you are thinking, "If I had only listened to my _____ (friends, parents, co-workers, God, Dr. Phil, the lady in the line at the bank). Every one knows Dr. Oz is a loser and cocaon snorting Julian Michaels is the trainer from hell. (Google it, it's true! Everything on the Internet is true!)

What if I hadn't lied to myself thinking _______ is normal? (Back pain, a 50" waist, medication, shortness of breath, eating a bag of chips and dip in front of the TV) Aren't Barbie & Ken normal - well except for the anatomy?

Of course, once we realize that we are full of crap, then we become experts in the fitness field posting our own topics for which no one can disagree with us. Fortunately, most of can contain the subtle arrogance which lives inside us. For those that can't, we get our threads locked.

Here is a self-test to see if you are a noob, an annoying heath nut, or an elder statesman on MFP.

For each question, score yourself accordingly.

0 I never even thought it.
1 I thought, but never said it.
2 I said it.
3 I posted it on a message board.
4 I said it worked for me.
5 I have a certificate to say this stuff.

1 - It doesn't matter what you eat, as long as you are within your calories.

2 - Even though there are studies to prove it, it doesn't matter what time you eat as long as it's not in your sleep.

3 - If you have ripped abs, it improves you sex life.

4 - Caffeine is a food group which contains coffee and chocolate.

5 - Eating raw through a straw requires some real effort.

6 - Every good diet requires that you eat yogurt, drink water and clean up after your dog.

7 - Eating clean is good if you drop your carrots on the kitchen floor and you own cats.
 
8 - The caveman diet is sexist.

9 - The Atkins diet is for people who love bacon.

10 - Being a vegan because you don't like fish is not being honest.

11 - Admit it, you are here to find out how to be thin and keep on eating the same stuff.

12 - Running is for people who can't walk.
 
13 - Biking is for people who need to coast once in a while.

14 - Cheat days are cheating.

15 - Water is a negative calorie food.
 
16 - Cardio is anything that requires breathing the entire time. (That's why sex is not in the list.)
 
17 - Being able to see your privates without a mirro is an NSV.

18 - Farts you make with your headphones on at the gym still stink.
 
19 - Logging food is the program. 

20 - Groups are for people who don't like opposing opinions.

0 - 20 You are probably in a sugar coma.
21 - 40 You have an active mind, and more restraint than a hog tied hog.
41 - 60 You are a safe friend and only contribute the message boards while everyone else is asleep.
61 - 80 You have been around a while and probably have a strike or two.
81 - 90 You are probably about to get locked out.
91 - 100 You are Dr. Oz

Please post your score. (I got 100!) And you can vote too!

29 votes + -

16 comments:

PoisonDartFrog wrote 66 months ago:
Great Blog and a great start to 2017! From a restrained Hog (score = 40). It only took me 4 years to get here.
pizzafruit wrote 66 months ago:
I've been around for more than a while. Being honest means admitting I've got alot more than a strike or two. My score? 63; same as my age for the time being. Do you think there's a connection? I'm gonna get this right so it's not the last thing I do. I look forward to your guidance in 2017! As always, thanks.
ILoveGingerNut wrote 66 months ago:
Ah! Didn't score myself... Been around for a while, here for my own benefit. Love your irony! :)
karen612015 wrote 66 months ago:
Seems I'm in a sugar coma. Just what I thought. I got some work to do!
Jules_farmgirl wrote 66 months ago:
LMAO! Awesome read and well wrote. I am a restrained hog... which is entertaining since in person and around anyone who knows me I edge much closer to getting locked out :P
Jules_farmgirl wrote 66 months ago:
LMAO! Awesome read and well wrote. I am a restrained hog... which is entertaining since in person and around anyone who knows me I edge much closer to getting locked out :P
Shoshona1950 wrote 65 months ago:
LOL - I don't think any of those - well, except for nine. I do think about bacon on occasion and the Atkins diet would work for that. But I don't like sugary foods and never have. Maybe because I owned a Natural Food store in the late seventies and read a lot. Not that I didn't just gain 8 pounds in the past two months ignoring everything I 'know' and here I am back again to get moving and paying attention to what I eat (and do not eat).
cosmonew wrote 65 months ago:
awww, I didn't score myself, but I don't really believe most of those things, even though they are true...they just don't work for me. I am still a noob, under 6 months this time around...but try this quiz again next year...hopefully, I'm still here.
kzzr wrote 65 months ago:
16 - Search for 'Bedroom Activity' in the exercise search list lol
jsandr23 wrote 65 months ago:
I got 19--apparently I am on the border--maybe with a ! Loved that quiz--it was funQ
amykuh wrote 65 months ago:
Scored a measly 7 points. I enjoyed this blog, nice work!
canadjineh wrote 65 months ago:
Heheh, loved your post... I'm a person with a strike or two, simply because someone took offense to the comment I made once about a 'White Trash' diet... you know... a ton of County Fair type food. Apparently I am a hate mongering elitist ;)

BTW, number 11 IS TRUE, we all need to come clean.
joyfuljoy65 wrote 65 months ago:
with 13 points its either Sugar Coma or just not that bothered about everyone else's hangups......... probably both!
sooch30 wrote 65 months ago:
Scored 41...thanks for the fun. I sure have a ways to go!! Looking forward to reading more of your blog. :)

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