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10 Reasons You’re Not at Your Ideal Weight

Last week I was struggling. You know, life has been a bit of a ride this last year. I posted a link to an article on chronic pain and depression. I was expressing my current condition. I felt challenged by a couple of commenters. Normally I don't engage with nameless-faceless-russian-troll-twatwaffles. 

Nevertheless, a couple of comments struck a chord with this old fat guy.

However, before I begin, I have a question. What is an expert? Is it someone with education? Is it some with experience? Is it someone with results? Maybe an expert is nothing more than a good leader, or a good example? Maybe a blend of all of this? A college professor once said, "an expert is an 'ex,' something that used to be, and 'spurt,' a drip."

So this week I am going to write about why this expert is not at my ideal weight.

-1 The most important reason is I apparently don't have a calorie deficit.
-2 I don't use a food scale.
-3 I don't read nutrition labels.
-4 I don't get enough exercise.
-5 I don't have a dog to walk.
-6 I still have junk food in the house.
-7 I lost my mojo.
-8 I don't watch calories eating out.
-9 I have seconds when the food is good.
-10 I eat when I am stressed or depressed.

I do have a valid doctor's note saying that I need to take it easy until the nerves in my head heal and reconnect after the cutting and hacking. In fact, I have no more treatment possibilities until I am 6 months post-surgery. If I am still in chronic pain, they will fit me with a neurostimulator. I also have a prescription for tons of steroids, anticonvulsants and antidepressants - you know the weight-gain type. But those would be excuses, and I am not okay with excuses.

In other news, thanks to a huge BM, I lost 4.1 pounds in 6 days! It was actually only took about 30 seconds.

Thanks for the votes and comments. Oh, and a special thanks to my fierce protectors!

29 votes + -


kdbulger wrote 36 months ago:
It bothers me when people assume that a public presence is permission enough to go at someone in an unkind way through comments, etc.

When I read your posts, I can glimpse your struggles and I got an idea of how much you are already beating yourself up over gaining some weight, even in spite of all you've been up against. Sure your posts are blunt in calling out excuses (in yourself as well!) but also humourous at times. I do not read in your posts a "know-it-all" or an expert who is pointing fingers at others without taking accountability.

To me this all calls for an empathetic approach. Yes excuses can lead to the goal not being achieved. But there are times our humanity calls for more nuance than the scale gives us. The goal posts move sometimes. That's okay.

I'm not saying give up - I'm just saying be kind to yourself and keep going when you have the spoons (and we should ALL be kind to one another).
kendallvon wrote 36 months ago:
YES!!!! I agree 120% with what kdbulger said! You are there for all of us, let us be "here" for you! Honestly, I don't think I can add any more to what has already been said. Be kind to yourself. Namaste.
dsjohndrow wrote 36 months ago:
I hadn't thought of ice cream as a cure. ???
Rosie5151 wrote 36 months ago:
Raising my hand here as I have used EVERY stinkin' F'ing excuse imaginable! Yup, me. I still log but I have no desire to count, make, exercise or an other thing there is to make me thin again. Oh, don't get me wrong, I want to, but I don't want to, plane and simple. Sad , huh?
And Ive only had 3 surgeries! But yet I boo hoo'd over them all.... gave myself permission to gain back all the lovely lbs I had lost. Stupid fall. LOL

I can't say give yourself a break because well, that doesn't work. But don't go running if you are going to knock the nerves out! Sheesh.

You do this every day: get up, walk, run , walk again and so on.... I'd say for what you've been through its damn good , sir! Don't let the asses get to you... you know what you've done, you know where you've been and you got where you're going...... :) F em all.
PapaJay357 wrote 36 months ago:
Even with lots of whipped butter and some real Vermont or Canadian maple syrup twatwaffles arent worth the carbs or angst. Keep keeping real Brother. You are one of my heroes and you and yours are always in my prayers.
jmnicholas wrote 36 months ago:
There are those of us you have met irl, who know the struggle. Love and prayers.
ShellyMacchi wrote 36 months ago:
I know I don't comment very often... (but hey, in my head I am SO cheering you on all the time and am inspired by your strength, determination.. and even your weak moments because you are, after all, human :)...)

But.. i just have to say...
Following you through your challenges, the way you approach life and everything it throws at you...(even when your approach is not what YOU yourself would recommend to others... you are brave enough to share it just the same)... it helps... it helps me personally feel able to just take the next thing that rears it's head to throw my life into a bit of a tailspin all in stride... in effect, it's helps me forgive myself for being human, for aging, for not having as much energy as I did when I was younger.
You also help me remember to never forget I am SO much healthier than I was 8 years ago (my regret is I wasted my youth, but, better late than never!); to make the most out of the time periods when I DO have some extra energy and determination; and to never give up in trying to make the recognition positive actions an ingrained habit instead of an occasional inspiration.

Expert? To me an expert knows alot about a narrowly defined scope of knowledge about 'something'

Me? I am still trying to figure out how to be an expert at recognizing the needs of 'me'! [am better at this than I was, and my DR seems to think I have things well in hand, but.. what does he know that I haven't already told him? LOL.. don't get me wrong, I trust my DR, and why? because he listens to me and does not ignore my observations about me, but also does not hesitate to tell me he thinks there may be other things to consider]

You however are so much further along the path of being an expert at being YOU than I am about being ME

so.. simply... thank you!
rachelleahsmom wrote 36 months ago:
AS always, your humor in tough situations is inspiring. You do realize how amazing you are, right?
Arismum wrote 36 months ago:

Sorry to hear you're getting flack from the haters. I always look forward to your posts, and I wanted to add something that my dad used to say about experts:

An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, and eventually knows everything about nothing.

Hang in there David.
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AngWBald wrote 11 months ago:
I have a friend who is a nurse. She keeps herself fit. That's great. I'm not jealous. This one thing is what's going for her. I wouldn't want to walk a mile in her shoes. I will not lie, I would love to be able to lose this weight and keep it off. If I found a way I would have done it by now. This friend is constantly commenting on my weight and others when we get together. When she goes off on someone we know, who may have gained some weight, I tell her I have no room to talk because I struggle with my weight too. So I won't comment on anyone's body. We all have our demons. One time she commented, "You look like you've gained some weight." I told her, "Thank you for noticing. I didn't know that." She knew she hit a nerve because she had a nervous laugh after my reply. The last time she said something I said, "I don't want to talk about anyone's weight or about my weight." I walked away when she wouldn't stop. We were at the gym, "I said, "I'm here to work out. I'm done talking about weight." She came to me 30 minutes later and apologized. She said she knew it was a sensitive subject. Then back again talking about another person who looks like she's gained weight. She doesn't learn. I struggle with depression too. I lost a son 4 years ago. What people don't realize is grief and depression is a horrible way to live. You die a little bit every day wishing that depression would take you away. I get it. This nurse is only trying to help me. But I've lived with comments about my weight since I was a teenager. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and tell my 125 pound self, "Don't listen to those around you. You are fine." My first diet started at 132. Lost weight down to 110. I've ballooned to my largest weight at 196. I pride myself saying I've never broke 200. But I've come so close. I try to keep myself encouraged. I give myself little pep talks. I'm not where I should be with my BMI, but I'm not at my heaviest. I'm almost at the weight when I got married and right before I got pregnant with my first child at 160. The best talk is, I weigh less than the day I met my future husband at 176. But always in the back of my mind I think I could do better. I'm 4 foot 11 inches tall and weigh 168.6 as of today. My BMI is 34. Yes I'm obese. This extra weight looks horrible on a short person. All I see is a spare tire and a muffin top.
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