You are viewing dsjohndrow's blog MyFitnessPal is a 100% Free Calorie Counter and Diet Plan

WTF Ever

Today I was up at 4:00 am with a scorching headache. I am waiting to call the doctor to see what my options are. I am not scheduled to see the neurologist for 2 more weeks.

In my pain fog, I realized it is World Cancer Day.

If I were to make a list of the crap that has gone down since 2011, I would probably shoot myself before I finished writing it. Today, I am focusing on my progress not my history. I have lost almost 90 pounds and went from a wheezing-fat-old-guy to a slimmer, fitter runner who can still knock out a 6 mile run. Sadly, I still am not cancer free.

How does one live with cancer? You live life on purpose.

You plan to do things you were putting off, and put off things you were planning. You say "I love you," more, and get a second goodbye kiss. You call the kids a lot. You look up friends you haven't seen in a while. You shut out the people that minimize your feelings by saying, "It's early, at least you won't die.", "My dad had that and he was fine." or "My uncle had that an he died." When surgery has the potential to reduce your quality of life instead of make it better, it's not an easy option to choose.

As surgery number - WTFE - is coming in a few weeks, I am not thrilled.

As a runner I have overcome a lot. Most of it was mental. I just didn't think I could do anything. I even had medication and doctors opinions to bolster my excuses. I found a hundred reasons to quit, and only one to help me succeed: a better life. How I feel at the end of a run is the only reward I have. It's not the bling, the cheering, or the personal accomplishments.

It's how I feel.

I remember back when a 5K was about as daunting a run as I ever thought I could face. I ran the first one a year out of ICU. I also ran the World Major Marathons. I wish I could say I could say I was still running 6-minute miles.
I haven't felt well, but I am running 5Ks when I can.

For today, I am watching the calories, flossing my teeth, engaging my family, working, praying and living in the moment. Tomorrow may never come, and I don't know if I've "got this". I don't know if I will win against the Big-C or not. I just know that I am looking forward to being with my wife, hugging my kids, catching a little sunshine, taking my boat down the Intracoastal, and letting the things of God swirl around in my spirit.

In the meantime, I run 3 times a week. That makes me feel better than when I don't run.
Thanks for the votes and comments.  And thanks for your support.

28 votes + -


kdbulger wrote 3 weeks ago:
You are a force of nature. You are an inspiration to me every day. What you have been dealt is difficult and miserable. I regularly think of you and my hope for you is that this headache from hell goes away so you can go back to enjoying the joys of every day life again.
kendallvon wrote 3 weeks ago:
Do what you can, when you can. Don't listen to those who will hold you back. Live each day as if it's your last. Good advice for us all. Namaste.
solieco1 wrote 3 weeks ago:
Your spirit is indomitable. Sending hugs and puppy kisses and so much good energy to help bolster you.
ploomka wrote 3 weeks ago:
Thank you for sharing. I love how real you are in your posts. You are an inspiration.
lorrainequiche59 wrote 3 weeks ago:
This was certainly worth reading! Thank you for overcoming excuses to cave under the pressure you must feel daily. You do inspire so many people to keep on keepin' on!!
BonnieHosk85 wrote 3 weeks ago:
Definitely worth reading, silly! Hang in there! We're pulling for you.
mowree wrote 3 weeks ago:
Enjoyed reading, as always. I feel inadequate in expressing my support and hope for you. Glad to hear you are running. I know you love it.
goodasgoldilox165 wrote 3 weeks ago:
As always - your running may have suffered a little in the recent health 'outage' but your writing continues and inspires many you cannot see.

It strikes me (from what you write here about the changes you have made in life) that you have taken charge of your cancer(s) and 'owned' it.

(This is probably another reason why it is so irritating and unhelpful to find it compared to that of others!)

You seem to be starting to do the same thing with this appalling chronic pain too.

I promise to TRY not to annoy others by telling them of your admirable attitude to Cancer and Pain.
nitasweeny wrote 3 weeks ago:
I continue to cheer you on. You're so inspiring. Thanks always for your transparency. Fingers crossed for you.
Anonymous wrote 2 weeks ago:
EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL FOR MORE INFORMATION Website;  WHATS APP MESSAGE/CALL: +447482854279  My ex-boyfriend dumped me one week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the Internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Lord San . You are truly talented and gifted. Email: /
 WHATS APP MESSAGE/CALL: +447482854279   is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man 
Anonymous wrote 1 week ago:
Am Lizzy Dixon from Canada, I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real online spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Chief He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my husband who left me, When i contacted Chief he cast a love spell for me, and my husband who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me to come back. he is back now with so much love and care. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers to restore broken relationship back. because i am now happy with my husband. To anyone who is reading this article and needs any help, Chief can also offer any type of help like, Curing of all types of Diseases, Court Cases, Pregnancy Spell, Spiritual protection and lot's more. You can contact him Via his email call or add him on whats-app with his phone number +2348132777335  
Anonymous wrote 1 week ago:

Lottery spells that works immediately to win large sums of money at any lotto jackpot. Get the lottery winning numbers with the help of Dr.nana.
Is a great thing to announce to the general public for I have been saved and redeemed by winning a power ball lottery with a spell and a winning number from I heard he has helped lot of people until he helped me this month to win my first $500,000 from power ball. You too can try for your self today is just a spell and a winning number. His Whats App number +233 57 679 3653,. This just a beginning I will win  more,
Good luck. visit website  
Anonymous wrote 3 days ago:
husband left you for another woman? Do not cry anymore dr.unity is a true and real Psychics he brought back my husband to me" I am Helen Fisher from USA. I have been married for over 13 years, my husband left me for another woman and i wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called dr unity, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 11 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to dr unity for the real spell and if you have any problem contact him he is honest.Here’s his contact Call/Whats-app him: +2348055361568 ,or Email him at: ,website:

Add Comment

Commenting as anonymous user

About Me
8a45167a179317c45961e201d753ea3c18df thumb
About MyFitnessPal
Join MyFitnessPal today and lose weight the healthy way. Get your own 100% free diet blog and calorie counter. Put away your credit card - you'll never pay a cent."

join now for free