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Why Is Enough Food Not Enough Food?

I denied that I was an emotional eater. I remember one day there was the 6-pack of mini-cupcakes sitting on the kitchen table. The good news is that my daughter ate 4 of them. It wasn't a really big calorie hit. What bothered me is that I know I would have eaten the entire box if there were any left.

It would have felt good.

If you are like me, you just want to be thin and eat whatever you want. If you are saying to yourself, "This isn't that big a deal.", "It's your birthday.", or "You deserve a treat once in a while." you might be in denial too. :)

I think about looking and feeling better.

I still see myself as a 29-year-old. I do. I honestly didn't care about being fit, I just didn't want to be fat. Oh, and I didn't want to have rogue body hair growing faster than mold on white bread in July.

Yes, I am proud of running 6 miles without walking. But ripped abs are much more appealing.

This morning I was thinking about why food is so important - why I need more than enough. Beside the simple fact that I freaking love food, I have learned to cook some tasty @$$ meals. 

I have a long list of Major Life Transitions.

It just doesn't make sense to me how a donut is going to make anything better. Maybe a fish taco, or seared blacken tuna steak, a juicy prime rib with garlic salt and lemon butter rub, or even my famous roast turkey with apple, walnut, and cranberry dressing.

See what I mean?!

On a good day, that stuff is amazing. Of course there is the seafood pasta, lobster tails, raw oysters and stuffed pork chops with baked apples... I could even go for sushi, BBQ or fried chicken.

When food tastes good, emotional eating is easy.

If you add in chocolate volcano cake with fresh raspberries and I'm a goner. I can tell myself running is going to help. Portion control is going to help and - well - dang it, it taste so good I'll have a little more.

Things have been pretty rough, lately.

I have made it through a lot in life. Right now I am still surviving. Here are a few tips for not being overwhelmed and going on a food bender. Daily, here is my reorganization dos. It is part of my self-care plan.

- Cardio: Get in a long walk or a run.
- Laugh: Watch a funny movie, AFV, or record a favorite late night.
- Knock out the daily tasks: Open the mail or toss it. Hey, they always send more bills. Dishes. These help me feel in control of life.
- Socialize: Call the kids or a friend and even if they don't answer, leave a message.
- Make a menu plan: Food is a killer in high-stress times. Menu planning. I try not to have anything that is not good for me in the house. We buy food an divide it up into portions.
- Plan a fun activity everyday: This one is essential. Since I became disabled, the choices are harder. I run, play a little guitar, have sushi with a friend, take a walk with my wife, go to the shooting range, or spend time on the boat. I schedule 1 hour a day for fun; some days I only make 15 minutes.
- Forget the future: I had to stop worrying about doctors appointments, test results, calls from the attorney and whether I am going to die from cancer.
- Pray: I don't pray like I used to. Back then I always needed something. Now I just enjoy the communion and that gives me peace. I don't feel forgotten, nor do I feel desperate.
- Relax: I am at a point in life where relaxing gives me less pain and more energy for life.

Thanks for the votes and comments.

26 votes + -


kdbulger wrote 2 weeks ago:
This entry speaks to me more than many.
The importance of having a plan, and some fail-safes, cannot be overstated. If I have a plan, deviating from it is more work than it's worth. If I don't, anything goes.
As ever, I'm thinking of you and sending you pain relief prayers.
Rosie5151 wrote 2 weeks ago:
I always read your blog and find something that is me in there. I , too am recently last 3 + yrs disabled. I don't look it, but damn I feel it. And my pity party has been going on at least that long. I don't want to diet, eat better because I feel like I got death a shitty hand in life. I often ask why not someone else? And the reality is there are a million someone elses! But it still pisses me off. So I eat. Not in front of anyone of course. Nope, I'm a night time eater. Boo-hoo for me, right?

Truth be known I'm disgusted in myself at my thoughts. I need to work on my mind getting healthy as well....

The only good news is that this April I will be a non smoker for two years.... yea me. If I can do that, I can do anything....... so she thinks! lol

Thanks for the lists. It helps me feel like I can achieve something other than a pity party.

Keep writing!

Sand_TIger wrote 2 weeks ago:
I love what you say here. You're so right - having a plan is so important. There's a wonderful little nugget that I almost overlooked, shining among the bigger nuggets of truth. Scheduling time for play, and also time for inner peace, makes sure that those important priorities aren't forgotten. If they aren't forgotten, they will be less likely to be replaced by other things like food.

Keep on keeping on - and thanks for shining your beacon for all of us to see.
lorrainequiche59 wrote 2 weeks ago:
That's quite a daily to-do list. Good for you!!
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