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Twisted Inspirational Quotes for Weight Losers Remix

When I read the wisdom of the ages, I can't help but have my own thoughts - how scary is that? 
 
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." Jimmy Dean
 
I can't change the direction of the wind, but when you fart, you wish you could. DSJohndrow

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. Francis of Assisi
 
Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; like going to the chocolate shop at the mall and don't buy anything. Now that's impossible. DSJohndrow
 
Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. Swami Sivananda
 
Put your hand in the Doritos bag and choose the smallest ones. This is the secret of success. DSJohndrow
 
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle
 
If the pizza guy knocks at the door, tell him you made a mistake and slide the cash through the mail slot. DSJohndrow
 
Believe you can and you're halfway there. Theodore Roosevelt

Believe you can resist temptation and you're halfway to being screwed. DSJohndrow
 
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop
 
No whole wheat bagel crumb, no matter how small, is ever wasted. (and licking your yogurt cup isn't either!) DSJohndrow
 
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My behind lies behind me, because of what I put within me." - DSJohndrow

"My life is my message." - Mahatma Gandhi

"My Food Diary is my message." - DSJohndrow

"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." - James M. Barrie

"Those who bring donuts into the break room of others cannot live another minute." - DSJohndrow 

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer

"Diet is not the key to happiness. Calorie counting is the key to success. If you love what you are NOT eating, you will be successful." - DSJohndrow

"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." - Rabindranath Tagore

"The MFP-er counts not months but calories, and has more than enough to worry about." - DSJohndrow

"The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense." - Thomas A. Edison

"The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, logging calories; second, cardiovascular exercise; third, common sense." - DSJohndrow

"The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss." - Thomas Carlyle

"The tragedy of dieting is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they eat." - DSJohndrow

"Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time." - Viktor E. Frankl

"Live as if you were healthy, it might work."  - DSJohndrow

"The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed." - Eminem

"The truth is this: if you don't know what you are going to eat tomorrow, you might already be in trouble." - DSJohndrow

"Service is what life is all about." - Marian Edelman

"Logging calories is what life is all about." - DSJohndrow

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid." - John Wayne

"Losing weight is hard; it's harder if you don't log or you're stupid." - DSJohndrow

"To be able to look back upon ones life in satisfaction, is to live twice" - Khalil Gibran

"To be able to look back and not see a caboose is satisfaction." - DSJohndrow

"Life is a little gleam of time between two eternities. " - Thomas Carlyle

"Life is a little snack of between two meals. " - DSJohndrow

"In three words I can sum up what I've learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost

"In three words I can sum up what I've learned on MFP: Log your meals!" - DSJohndrow

"The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing." - Marcus Aurelius

"The art of losing weight is more like wrestling King Kong." - DSJohndrow

"Growth is the only evidence of life." - John Henry

"Growth is not the only evidence of overeating." - DSJohndrow

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss

How can you improve on perfection?

Thanks for the votes and comments. Friend me at your own risk.

42 votes + -

6 comments:

angelalibbysmith wrote 32 months ago:
I LOVE THIS! Its so factual and awesome to know that I am not the only one that thinks this way! Thanks for everything! I always look forward to your material!
sherry0614 wrote 32 months ago:
You crack me up :-) How long did it take you to think these up?? Lol
dsjohndrow wrote 32 months ago:
Not very long. 30 minutes.
tonybalony01 wrote 32 months ago:
I am in mutual weirdness with this blog post. Thanks so much.
Vyerachka wrote 32 months ago:
Excellent! One quibble however: that last quote is misattributed to Dr. Seuss all the time, but it's actually from the book "True Love" by Robert Fulghum (the "Everything I Need to Know, I Learned In Kindergarten" guy). =)

It is a most excellent quote tho. One of my favorites is: "You can have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." ~Mary Pickford (early film actress popularly known as "America's Sweetheart")
GoBucks96 wrote 32 months ago:
Haha! This is great! Especially the one about Doritos! I'm going to try it!

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