The average person stops doing whatever it is they resolve to do by the 13th of January. Last week I joined the gym. This morning I didn't go. In fact, I haven't been once since I signed up.

Stone me with donuts.

I don't even know what to say. Mr. Know-it-all failed. Today is the tomorrow I said I would start. It is now 8:41 and I am still in bed. I should end right here.

But I have a good excuse. Honest.

In real life, I am coming to terms with the distinct possibility that I will need two or three surgeries. I have had chronic pain for five long months. There is a long list of medications and therapies I have tried.

Yesterday I had more of the scorching headaches.

My wife and I briefly talked about what surgery means for me and more importantly, us. I see the specialist on Friday. I am also going to see a neurologist before all this is over. Then I will get a second opinion and see if there is any wonder drug I have missed.

Meanwhile, I need to stop making up excuses and lying to myself.

Food is the real problem. If you are new, or even if you have been around here for a while, here is a list of excuses I won't be using in 2019. Feel free. :)

I Have Slow Metabolism: Right, and if your body was a car, it would be in reverse. Personally, mine hit a speed bump at age 40 and broke the steering column.

My Parents Didn’t Teach me How to Eat: Are you kidding, have you looked in the mirror? You are probably good at eating, in fact very good! For God’s sake, birds manage to get south.

It’s the Holidays! The Bermuda Triangle: Thanksgiving Christmas and New Years. (Or Memorial Day, the 4th and Labor Day.) Flag Day, the dog’s birthday. There are lots of holidays!

It’s Vacation: One of my personal favorites, lots of eating out and lying around (actually that sounds more like work). Staying in the hospital is not a vacation. You can trust me on this one.

I Don’t Like Healthy Food: Let me know when the pity party is over. Trust me; you are not going to like heart failure either.

It’s Emotional: WTH? It’s food, nothing else.

I Can Eat Anything I Want! Apparently.

I’ll Start Over Tomorrow: Tomorrow is here, now what?

Water Makes Me Gag! Well, it’s a good thing you are not a dolphin, I guess.

I Have Bad Knees (bad ankles, bad hips, bad a$$): From here it looks like they can get you back and forth from the store, the bathroom and the refrigerator.

How about you, can you share some your most creative excuses for staying the way you were?

Disclaimer: Look, there are people who have legitimate medical reasons for being where they are. However; if you can get out of bed, you can probably begin to exercise. Seeing as diet is probably 90% of weight loss, you can make better choices.