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I Used to Be Obese, Now I'm Sexy!

Most of us fantasized about being in a relationship with a famous movie or TV personality, a musician or sports figure - and it wasn't Roseanne Barr! That is what is wonderful thing about fantasy, it's free, but often not fulfilling, and after a long time, draining.

Losing inches and getting down to a healthy weight does not have to be a fantasy. You can do it! Lots of folks on MFP have done it. I read amazing success stories everyday about people like you and me that have lost literally tons of fat (without cutting off their heads). It can be done.

I don't know about you, but I get tired of skinny people telling me how to do it, are you with me? Just eat less, blah blah blah... Of course they can eat a 1/2 a freakin' pizza and down a liter of Coke; 1600 calories for lunch, and get away with it. But you and me, we are not like that. We eat one extra slice of pizza and grow another chin. Hell, we eat a big meal and have to loosen our belt or start responding to elephant mating calls.

Being fat sucks! It has few advantages save the invention of stretch waist pants which saved our lives.

Emotionally being large bodied can be brutal too. My 7-year-old was trying to be nice, "daddy I like you fat." Are you kidding?, I thought to myself. "I don't!", I snapped back. So much for teaching her to be positive.

So how does a Willy the whale become a flipin' errr Flipper the dolphin? It starts with what you think, and ends with what you do.

- If you don't really want to be thin, you won't be. Worse, you may just have decided that you'll always be fat, and you'd be right. Unless you can desire to be thin, it will never happen unless you're stranded on a tofu ranch.(I deleted the reference to being tied up...)

- If your life has no real schedule or structure, it's going to be tough, really tough. Losing weight requires doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over to get the desired result.

- You don't have to be perfect, but you have to be determined. In fact I was so bad at this, I bet I could have gotten Richard Simmons depressed and Jane Fonda to cry. If you want a date with your favorite entertainer, you need to be attractive enough to get in the game. Me, I just want to please me (and love dates with my wife!). Because I was once thin, that is the picture I have in my own mind. I'd like it to match the me in the mirror. If you've never been thin, get a role model here on MFP!

- Pick nonfood rewards for yourself when you reach short-term goals. If you lose 5 pounds you give yourself some new music. Lose 10, a new bike. And when you lose 25 or 50, ask your significant other for a new car and a week in Hawaii - well unless you already live there, then go to Alaska.

- Ask yourself this: If I was thin, what would my life look like? Would it be Charlie Sheen', Paris Hilton', Oprah Winfrey' or Bart Simpson'? Success aint' all it's cracked up to be. You can change your surroundings and make better food choices NOW. You only have to do it.

- Everyone has a time when we're most likely to overeat, whether it is the morning coffee break or when we first arrive back at the Bat Cave. You need to plan to handle them and stick to it.

- Surround yourself with people who want you to be healthy. Your fat, diabetic, grandmother - the one who pinches your cheek every time she sees you and gets the walking farts in the kitchen, she is probably not the person you want cooking  your meals and suggesting dishes for the holidays. Even our good friends can sabotage weight-loss attempts. Not everyone looks at a cookie as a death threat. For you and me, we need to weigh our options carefully, and choose people that are on the same page (to eat with)!

- Stock your pantry and refrigerator with healthy foods. If you are serious about losing weight, then you need to skip the high-calorie stuff or I will be in your face after looking at your food diary!

- Get a mirror, take pictures. Drop your dating profile from the Chubby Dates web site and make a YouTube video asking your fantasy date out - you never know!

Don't you already feel better?

Thanks in advance for your votes, your comments, and your support! If you need a wiseass friend, add me!

189 votes + -

45 comments:

aliciagetshealthy wrote 88 months ago:
I feel better already! Thanks for the heads-up on the cookie death threat! I just knew there was something shady going on with all that crunchy goodness - I hate when I can feel them staring at me!
GentlyLosing wrote 88 months ago:
"Your fat, diabetic, grandmother - the one who pinches your cheek every time she sees you and gets the walking farts in the kitchen"...I think I was on my way to being her before MFP helped me start in a new direction! (she is a good cook though!)

Great Blog!
ChangingJojo wrote 88 months ago:
Thank you for writing this. You always make me think. :o)
Snowridesbikes wrote 88 months ago:
Great blog! Thanks.
STARSHINE1975 wrote 88 months ago:
Poor grandma. But you are right you need someone that is on your team rooting for you.
mmcperez wrote 88 months ago:
Great blog man!
jlc1243 wrote 88 months ago:
I very much enjoy reading your blogs! Great stuff, keep it coming!
JoAnn73 wrote 88 months ago:
I LOVE IT!!
ChangingTami wrote 88 months ago:
Awesome post!!
ms_leanne wrote 88 months ago:
Loving this post. The only thing I will say is, I don't want to be thin (bony, rake like), I want to be slim/slender.
StarGeezer wrote 88 months ago:
Excellent, humorous and very motivational! Well done, sir! Well done! :)
tiaydew wrote 88 months ago:
Your blog is always fun to read. No exception here! :)
LaSweetMini wrote 88 months ago:
LMAOOOOOOOOOO @ "unless you are stranded on a tofu ranch!"
litelight wrote 88 months ago:
I just love your motivating comments.
SarahRuth♥ wrote 88 months ago:
Great blog! Just one comment, though... those skinny people who tell you how to lose weight?? Not all of them were always skinny, and not all of them can eat a half a pizza and not regret it! Some of them fought for it just like we are doing now! I still want to lose about another 25 lbs, but a lot of people consider me to be skinny now and can't believe it when I tell them that at my heaviest I weighed 220 lbs! (...and I have been known to tell people to eat less and move more...)
Sharon009 wrote 88 months ago:
Love it! The whole thing.
Hoppymom wrote 88 months ago:
Always on point. Thanks so much for the reality check.
dsjohndrow wrote 88 months ago:
@Sarah - I was referring to folks that never were obese. It is like the single person who has always been single telling married people how to live.

Don't get me wrong - I get in peoples faces; especially the ones I love.

Thanks for commenting!
dsjohndrow wrote 88 months ago:
@Leanne - yeah, I would like to look healhty, not like a crack addict. ;)
ncole3 wrote 88 months ago:
Love reading this blog..I was cracking up reading this..."Your fat, diabetic, grandmother - the one who pinches your cheek every time she sees you and gets the walking farts in the kitchen, she is probably not the person you want cooking your meals and suggesting dishes for the holidays. Even our good friends can sabotage weight-loss attempts." Too funny!!
SarahRuth♥ wrote 88 months ago:
Oooohh, I hate it when single people tell me how to handle my marriage!!!! I even hate it when divorced people try and do that! I've been married 16 years, tyvm!!! lol
weddingbracelet wrote 88 months ago:
You are so right about surrounding yourself with the right people. I returned to my old office location this week after months of dieting and losing 37 lbs and the positivity was truly tangible. Honestly it was like someone had declared National Pay Janet a Compliment Day!!!

And the first thing I did when I got home was remove my profile from BBW Cupid.com. I refuse to let my excess body fat define who I am any more.
skinnybearlyndsay wrote 88 months ago:
Thanks so much for posting this! It made me smile and is good advice. :)
77tes wrote 88 months ago:
I loved reading this blog. I love my slim husband, but his diet advice drives me crazy!! My newest strategy is when he advises me about how to lose weight, I tell him how to control his temper (which is easy for me and hard for him) ;) Oh, and how about people who don't have kids and are never around kids telling you how to raise your kids. Maddening!
223730 wrote 88 months ago:
Witty and true! Good read!
ktfitzgerald wrote 88 months ago:
"Not everyone looks at a cookie as a death threat." Best quote of the week!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cfreema wrote 88 months ago:
"we eat a big meal and have to loosen our belt or start responding to elephant mating calls."

I just laughed so hard! Thank you so much for this great blog post! I think i need YOU to be my inspirational MFP role model!!
sarablueskies wrote 88 months ago:
hahaha, omg, i'm cracking up! not everyone looks at cookies as a death threat...so true. thanks for this, gives a little humor to something that we try to take so seriously.
dalgal26 wrote 88 months ago:
LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT. And just to add, don't you just hate it when someone that has never had children try to give you advice on how to discipline yours? :)
Redladystl wrote 88 months ago:
Hilarious!!! I really needed that laugh and good info. Reading it while sitting in Noahs Bagel shop eating a tuscan pesto bagel with low fat cream cheese......I know not good either way.
staroftheeast wrote 88 months ago:
I love this. I guess you're going to be in my face after tomorrow's dessert but that's ok. The grandmother image is great. A friend's grandmother was exactly like that. she fed me/us every time she saw us. Keep up the wonderful blog.
cookc04 wrote 88 months ago:
I'm single and I give great advice on marriage and relationships.

I don't have children but I give great advice on raising children

and I've barely lost any weight and I give great advice on how to lose weight.
jettygirl3 wrote 88 months ago:
Enjoyed your blog... I am always getting things in the mail about writing childrens' stories, but I see now that I can write about more "adult" subjects like staying healthy and losing weight with a little humor thrown in...
Great blog!!!
rc12345 wrote 88 months ago:
I just thought it was nice to hear that someone else understands the whole "growing a second chin" thing. Not many people understand me when I say I gain 5 pounds by just looking at a bag of chips. :)
one_bad_mother_runner wrote 88 months ago:
Thumbs up !! enjoyed your blog!!
dsjohndrow wrote 88 months ago:
@Cock - well write a blog!
docdevore wrote 88 months ago:
Congrats on your achievement. It is a great feeling to look sexy again.
Monica_has_a_goal wrote 88 months ago:
I have always been sexy.. lol.. even at my highest weight... (so my hubby tells me)

So now its MY TIME to feel and look sexy! and I made that decision to lose all the excess weight on June 1st, 2011 ... and I refuse to stop until i reach my goal!
jojonesnz wrote 88 months ago:
awesome love this post, it brought a smile to my face while making me think about my current habits! routine is definitly my enemy but i need it to become my best friend:)
thanks for an awesome read
DiamondInTheDirt wrote 88 months ago:
Love this blog and i can relate to it so much. Most my friends have amazingly fast metabolisms and they just DONT UNDERSTAND!!! and they always sabotage my weightloss! So its good to hear i wasnt just imagning things haha.
jak111 wrote 88 months ago:
I love this blog. I was already to blow it tonight - just one of those days - ya know?!?! Then I thought I will go out to MFP and read some blogs, yours caught my attention and made me NOT want to blow it tonight! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!! Please add me as a friend so I can read your peptalks!!!!
baloney17 wrote 88 months ago:
Amen! Great blog.....thanks for sharing this. Too many people complain but don't have the mindset of actually being active in their own weight loss. It's more than just food, it's mentality. Great work!
keke48 wrote 88 months ago:
Yes and thank you I'm with the part about over eating, the time. I over eat is at nite because I try to eat before 7 pm and my mind get me to thinking if you only eat that little food you are going to be hungry before it's time to eat again at frist that worked but not I'm the boss of my mind. KEKE48
odditblue wrote 88 months ago:
Rock on man. You have an awesome attitude. Learning these things for myself. It's gonna take me some time to get there, but I refuse to give up anymore. Enough of giving up. I am worth what it takes to get healthier and feel better. Great friends sure make the journey easier to travel together. Great advice you've given. Thank you. =)
Anonymous wrote 63 months ago:
I recently lost 23% of my weight, and I have to admit it was the hardest thing I've ever done. Face it, when you choose to become a healthy person you're choosing a completely different lifestyle than what you're used to. The best advice I can give is to find a reason to lose this weight and never let go. We all have our weak moments, but it's what we decide to do at these times that define us. I found that dangling my goals in front of me during my weak moments encouraged me to not reward my hard work with a bowl of ice cream but to keep going. Also, weight loss takes a REALLY long time. Mine took about 6 months of working out 5 times a week and eating healthy almost every day.

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