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Aphrodisiac Food Tips for Valentine’s Day

Cupid is about to unleash his love drunk fury in a few days. The good news for folks who love food is that you can help bring things to a climax by eating some of the food mentioned below.

No one has the need for a bedroom boost like the folks on MFP. ;)

So here's to getting the blood flowing, the neurotransmitters rocking and the clothes flying in the air.

1. Basil: Now I really like basil in my food. It is common spice in my house. But when it comes increasing the desire, I never thought of keeping a shaker of it in the bedroom. I guess the only drawback is if my mate says, "What's the in your teeth?" Until then, I think we'll stick to Channel No. 5.

2. Cinnamon:
This is the stuff that is used in cinnamon rolls. Cinnamon rolls are sex.

3. Pine Nuts: Sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't. If your Valentines celebration includes a hike in the woods, be sure to pick some up.

4. Cardamom: This is Cialis of the food world! It is also an antimicrobial so you can use it to clean the bathtub when you are done.

5. Celery:
From the beginners guide to S&M. A crunch should always precede a spanking.

6. Aniseed: Supposedly the ancient Greeks believed anise aroused the female. If it's true, I am making my honey a cake with it.

7. Avocado: The Aztecs called the avocado ahuacuatl, or "testicle tree." After you stop laughing, think about all the uses it the pit might have. I think we are done talking about avocados.

8. Almonds: Now we're talking. I love almonds. If they were liquid, I would take a bath in them. Instead of tequila I think you can use them for body shots. I guess they were fertility symbols at one time. I am thinking without nuts, there isn't much chance, you know? The article says that it works best on woman; probably why I don't know.

9. Chili Peppers: This is supposed to improve the "heat of the moment." I guess if you like kissing when your ears are numb from pain, there is a lot more I don't want to know. Oh wait, are we talking about a band?

10. Honey: Well, it is supposed to increase hormones which make us want to rip our mate’s clothes off! The problem at my house is that I can't get the stupid cover off it once it has been opened, and we lose the desire if I have to go shopping. So much for boron and whatever the hell else is trapped in there.

11. Carrots: It seems to work for rabbits. It may be the shape that does it for some people. And remember, size matters.

12. Ginger: Just like chili peppers, ginger spices things up. Drink up a little terrace, smear on the wasabi and go for it.

13. Coconut Water: Be sure to have some before and after to replenish your electrolytes after a marathon session.

14. Arugula: Because every good meal starts with a salad!

15. Watermelon: I can't see a seed spitting contest as a romantic contribution. Confused? Me too!

16. Chocolate:  I am with you on this one. I like chocolate so much I would have sex by myself. Dopamine and PEA can be your imaginary friends.

17. Asparagus: I don't know what's in there, but I like 'em. As far as sex goes, I'm not thinking that my mate will appreciate the fiber, you know what I mean? Apparently they boost the production of histamine which helps with orgasms. I dunno, maybe if you have a cold it can help too. I think the best thing they have going for them is their shape. Possibly if you had a long enough one you could use it for a whip.

18. Truffle: Thanks be to God it comes wrapped chocolate. It's an expensive, earthy fungus that is found by pigs. We can stop at chocolate.

19. Vanilla: A mild nerve stimulant when a bottle of champagne is too much!

20. Nutmeg: Its warming properties have been well known for centuries. Best combined with rum which also has warming properties.

21. Sea Vegetables: I think they mean sea cucumbers. But if you forgot your diving gear, you can grab one in the Sexual Health aisle at your local pharmacy. Be sure to get the batteries up front, they are cheaper there.

22. Red Wine: This was rumored to be in the Fountain of Youth. Ponce De Leon apparently drank it all and that is why he can't remember where it was. It's a good thing they didn't have cars back then; he would have lost the keys too.

23. Coriander: It serves as an anti-inflammatory and expectorant. I am not sure what that has to do with sex.

24. Pomegranates: Rumored to increase genital sensitivity. Really? I'll stick with silk or Egyptian cotton. It's easier to wash.

25. Garlic:  It's good for your heart and your blood flow; it's the Viagra of the natural world! Now guys, if you can get someone to get close after eating it, you might be in luck. My ex-wife said it would probably be better if I mowed the lawn and took out the garbage. The result may be improved stamina and sexual energy.

I don't know about you, but I am going to take my chances with flowers, chocolate and a thoughtful card, right after I take out the garbage.

Thanks for the votes and comments. Friend me at your own risk.

The original list was found here, but I wrote an adaption in my book: ICU to Marathon:

http://kimberlysnyder.com/blog/2011/10/03/25-foods-that-are-natural-aphrodisiacs/

45 votes + -

8 comments:

justrollme wrote 36 months ago:
This seals it, hubby is getting arugula, garlic and chili peppers for V-day!
dsjohndrow wrote 36 months ago:
Great!
celticlass69 wrote 36 months ago:
I love your combination of fact and humour! You do know the way to a woman's heart .. and other areas! LoL You kill me! Love, simply love your blogs! :)
Leahbcc wrote 36 months ago:
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!
farmboyphotography wrote 36 months ago:

Good stuff. Just the right amount of sarcasm mixed with your fantastic sense of humor. I am kind of surprised you didn't mention one word here... WAFFLES.
dsjohndrow wrote 36 months ago:
Waffles is a secret for runner only. ;)
jdeshon55 wrote 36 months ago:
Funny list! 😀
KrysGettinFit wrote 36 months ago:
Awesome list ha!

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