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Anesthesia Is Your Friend (Part II and III)

These are excerpts from my new book The Pathetic Runner, due out in December.

Part II
In college I was an amateure pharmacist. It was a pretty good living and I was a popular kid, having such an esteemed vocation.

It paid for books and supplies and kept a small New England town financially stable. Nitrous Oxide was one of my favored inhalants back in the day. If you are practicing to be a comedian, this stuff was it. However, It was a bad choice as a telephone operator. “You want to call who? Let me connect you to the president.” Speaking of presidents. The sitting president came to my college. We entertained him with a talent show and a redneck state dinner. My band Insanity played a few tunes for Commander-In-Chief. White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane and Light My Fire by the Doors. Sadly, it was a 2nd place performance. Jimmy Carter got my vote that year. If he had liked my music a little better, he would have gotten it the next time, too.
 
Part III
Nurse Jennifer: You can change into this *handing me the surgical gown and cap* with the opening in the back. You can leave on your clean underwear. Put the rest of your clothes in the plastic bag. I will be back in a couple of minutes.
Me: Don’t be too long, because I came dressed for action. (I really only was wearing flip-flops, underwear, shorts with no pockets or belt, and a t-shirt.) This is a 30 second job. I was done before she pulled the curtain.

A little later...

Nurse Jennifer: We are going to give you something to relax. But first can you tell me what you are here for?
Me: The relaxation drugs. 
Nurse Jennifer: Anything else?
Me: Nope
Nurse Jennifer: What procedure are you having.

More to come.

11 votes + -

15 comments:

LVP2014 wrote 3 weeks ago:
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My husband left me for another woman, This was just 2 years of our marriage. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant with our second baby. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called dr unity, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 11 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to dr unity . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity for help now..Here his contact, WhatsApp him: +2348055361568 {or} Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,his website:https://unityspells.blogspot.com .
Anonymous wrote 1 week ago:
A GREAT SPELL CASTER (DR. JUMBA ) THAT HELP ME BRING BACK MY EX.I want to quickly write about a Powerful Love spell Caster that helped me when I had a misunderstanding with my husband which led to Divorce. I contacted this Powerful spell caster called Dr jumba  help and I followed the step that he asked and within 48 hours my husband called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I am filled with so much joy and happiness that I found Dr jumba  , I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband back in just 24 hours. He did a perfect job for me. I am So Happy and Excited because as i am writing this Testimony, My husband is madly in love with me again. If there is anybody Out there who is in Difficulties and need help should kindly Contact Dr jumba on His Email ID : wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com or text him on whatsapp : +19085174108  and he is Ready to Help you no matter the Situation, website : drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com blog : https://wiccaspelltools.blogspot.com/
Anonymous wrote 1 week ago:
A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK
CONTACT DR JUMBA VIA WHATSAPP  : +19085174108
OR EMAIL HIM VIA : wiccalovespelltools@yahoo.com
WEBSITE : drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com  .
 I am overjoyed because my prayers have finally been answered,i have always wished to have my ex husband back,because i wanted my family to be happy again, until i met DR JUMBA who solved my problems for me, and i am sharing this testimony because i believe they are people out there who need solutions to problems like this. When my ex husband left me I was very much devastated and I always wanted back and it got to a period I no longer wanted him back again. After 7 years, my first son was 12 years old, he came home from school and said he was missing his father and all the love he showed when he was around him. The feeling rushed through me like an emotional straining and I had a huge urge to have him back. What happened to us that we separated was what I couldn't think of what started the fight. I contacted DR JUMBA online after reading about him of how he has been helping other people with their problems. I contacted his email at wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com and I was able to speak with him. I am happy and very overjoyed that after 7 years, all I wanted was to be reunited with my family and make my life whole again. Thank God for this great and real spell caster DR JUMBA. and i want everyone who have same problem as i had to contact this great man at (wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com)or you can add him up on his whatsapp via +19085174108 , website : drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com
and share your testimony with the world. blog : https://wiccaspelltools.blogspot.com/
Anonymous wrote 4 days ago:
Hi, am Kate Clancy from Norway. i just got my ex husband back through the help of Dr Unity love spells Experts. My husband left me for another woman, This was just 2 years of our marriage. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant with our second baby. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called dr unity, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 11 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to dr unity . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity for help now..Here his contact, WhatsApp him: +2348055361568 {or} Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,his website:https://unityspells.blogspot.com .

Dr unity can also help with spell like-
how to get husband back spell
how to win husband back spell
how to win my husband back from the other woman spell
get your husband back spell
save marriage after sepation spell
win husband back spell
win ex back spell
get ex back spell
prevent divorce spell
win him back spell
lottery spell

WhatsApp him: +2348055361568
Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com
Anonymous wrote 3 days ago:
A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK
CONTACT DR JUMBA VIA WHATSAPP  : +19085174108
OR EMAIL HIM VIA : wiccalovespelltools@yahoo.com
WEBSITE : drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com  .
 I am overjoyed because my prayers have finally been answered,i have always wished to have my ex husband back,because i wanted my family to be happy again, until i met DR JUMBA who solved my problems for me, and i am sharing this testimony because i believe they are people out there who need solutions to problems like this. When my ex husband left me I was very much devastated and I always wanted back and it got to a period I no longer wanted him back again. After 7 years, my first son was 12 years old, he came home from school and said he was missing his father and all the love he showed when he was around him. The feeling rushed through me like an emotional straining and I had a huge urge to have him back. What happened to us that we separated was what I couldn't think of what started the fight. I contacted DR JUMBA online after reading about him of how he has been helping other people with their problems. I contacted his email at wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com and I was able to speak with him. I am happy and very overjoyed that after 7 years, all I wanted was to be reunited with my family and make my life whole again. Thank God for this great and real spell caster DR JUMBA. and i want everyone who have same problem as i had to contact this great man at (wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com)or you can add him up on his whatsapp via +19085174108 , website : drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com
and share your testimony with the world. blog : https://wiccaspelltools.blogspot.com/

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