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I've Lost that Healthy Feeling...

Oh hi blog, long time no see! I realized that it's been almost 10 months since I last wrote a blog on here, and over those 10 months I've been sliding down the slippery slope of unhealthiness bit by bit.

It's been nearly 4 years since I made my committment to get my unhealthy butt in gear, lose weight and develop some much better lifestyle habits so that I could stay that way. It was working great, but little by little something would erode away. First it was not running as much, then I started eating more than 1200 calories, then I was eating out more again, then it was drinking beer, then came my stint with strength training and then getting sick of strength training... and now I've started a grad program in Systems Engineering where I took 2 evening classes from Sept-Nov. 

The end result: I'm back at 178 lbs, when I used to be comfortably around 160! My 5X a week workouts have become 3. And my willpower... has anyone seen it? I know I left it around here somewhere...

Naturally in this situation, we get the point where enough is enough. We all have those moments. A pair of pants doesn't fit that used to fit fine (or worse, used to be the fat pants!), getting to the top of the steps and being just a little bit out of breath, or resigning oneself to fast food instead of going home to cook up something healthy. I, for one, am guilty of it all.  I bought a pair of size 14 petite jeans (they run small, but I still had to buy a pair of 12s from American Eagle). I decided to take the steps to the 4th floor and realized I was kinda winded (crap...), and I've been eating out more than I should. Add into that having to take classes (I'm done until January for now though!) and trying to be a normal, social person and you have a bit of a mess.

I've vented on here about how I'm pissed off at myself and my laziness, I'm tired of seeing myself in the mirror starting to look closer to my former self than my fit self, and that I need to do something about it. But what? Over the last week, I've realized that a lot of what worked the first time around just doesn't fit with my life right now. When I lost 60 lbs in the span of a year, I wasn't really dating anyone, I didn't have a busy work schedule, I wasn't taking grad classes, and I didn't get out much (let's face it, I was a diet hermit). So I need a new plan, that fits with my life right now and one that I can stick to. It doesn't do me any good to try and recreate what I did before when I know it will fall apart in a few days.

So here's the plan:

- Get thee to the gym! Or get home and workout. Whichever results in exercising more. I've been neglecting Saturday morning workouts and I need to start that up again. And there's no reason that I can't workout 4 nights during the week. I've already started doing strength training again, since that seemed to help my metabolism keep up. I've been doing 20-25 minutes strength/ 20-25 minutes cardio and it seems to be helping. Now I need to kick the intensity up a notch.

- Limit the eating out, and make better choices when I do. I admit, I use eating out as an excuse to eat whatever I want lately. I just don't want another salad... I want a cheesesteak! Well, that's fine and well ON OCCASION, but not every time. There are healthy choices out there, I just need to pick them!

- Keep the junk and calories down on a daily basis. I definitely started letting some off-limits food creep into my  grocery basket. Ice cream... cookies? Yeah, definitely not on the list of OK foods! I used to be happy with humus and carrots and greek yogurt.I think my apple a day habit needs to come back. In general, keeping any temptation out of the house will go a long way in making sure I eat better.

- Lay off the self-loathing! It's definitely counter productive to say to yourself "ugh, you're fat and ugly" every time you look in the mirror. And I'm definitely guilty of it lately. Suck it up! It happens, you let yourself get to this point, now dig yourself out of the hole! So you don't like the way you look... change it!

It's sort of like learning to ride a bike again, I know I can do it, I know the tools I need to do it. I'm just a little bit wobbly right now. I might fall on my ass in the process, but eventually I'll get there. The holidays are coming, so of course I've picked an awesome time to get my act together, but if I can make it through December, I should be well on my way. I'm shooting for seeing the scale below 170 again. It's been since the Spring and it's only 7 or 8 lbs. But it will go a long way into fitting back into my clothes that I own in abundance because it's one size smaller. Small steps...manageable goals. And I really need to find that willpower that I've seemed to have lost! My goal is to blog more again, just so I can get my good and bad throughts written down so I don't wallow in them. If anyone has any tips for when they were in my situation, I'm always happy to hear them.

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