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TOPIC: Father is not happy about my 5K.

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May 24, 2013 1:06 PM
Called my dad to tell him I am going to do a 5K and he got mad insisting I am going to cramp up, faint or (insert other horrible thing here).

I am 25 years old I have been working out pretty regularly since January and I've lost 12 pounds. I am currently 227 pounds and I know that most of the people there will probably be in a lot better shape then me but I think I am ready! I signed up to walk it, I'm not much or a runner yet.

Anyone else ever run into family issue with your fitness?
  31814323
May 24, 2013 1:10 PM
QUOTE:

Anyone else ever run into family issue with your fitness?


I have the opposite problem. My children think I'm too old to do this. I can walk 3 miles without feeling too bent out of shape and they need to mind their own business. If I can do it then so can you.
May 24, 2013 1:11 PM
Is your father an experienced runner?

Is he paying your entrance fee and providing your childcare, transportation and meals for the day of the 5K?

Is he a medical doctor with knowledge of a prior medical condition that could prove harmful to you?

No?

Then nod your head, tell him that you appreciate his concern, and go run/walk your 5K.

I have a more dysfunctional family of origin than many, so I will say that I don't always understand the "close family ties" that bind many loving family members together. In this situation, he's not really being much of a "loving family member," so I would advocate that you separate yourself from his toxic attitude (not try to change it, but just separate yourself emotionally from caring what he thinks). What he thinks about your walking/running has no impact whatsoever on your actual walking/running. You don't need to change his opinion, and I'd advise you to not expect or rely upon his support and encouragement in your future fitness endeavors.
Edited by MyOwnSunshine On May 24, 2013 1:12 PM
  9352520
May 24, 2013 1:12 PM
sounds like he's just protective.
it's good to set yourself a goal.
do the 5k, show him you can do it without hurting yourself, he'll be cool for when you do your next 5k.
  14240730
May 24, 2013 1:13 PM
Let him pout and or fume.
  16002630
May 24, 2013 1:13 PM
My wife was bigger than that when she ran her first 5k. Tell your Dad you need him to be more supportive!
  14398623
May 24, 2013 1:14 PM
First off - YOU CAN DO IT. And YES I've run into issues with me working out and and wanting to lose weight...and kick back from my familly (more specifically my mom). She just doesn't share the same fitness minded attitude I have. And it's okay - I just nod my head and go off and do what I want anyway.

Kind of one of the perk of being an adult! :)
May 24, 2013 1:14 PM
How much have you trained for it? Have you walked 5K before? If you can show him that you've walked at least 4K, then that would ease his concerns. You can also promise him that you'll stop if you think you can't make it, rather than forcing it and hurt yourself.
May 24, 2013 1:15 PM
My dad is honestly just like your dad in the way of thinking. The best thing that I've learned to do is just do it and tell him afterward! He'll be concerned when he finds out you're doing it, but it'll be a proud papa moment (as my dad always calls them) when he finds out that you've done it!
May 24, 2013 1:15 PM
i told my dad about how i started going to the gym and lifting weights. then we had a nice long talk about how i shouldn't do steroids. sigh.
  22872058
May 24, 2013 1:16 PM
That's what my husband said to me. I kept telling him that Couch to 5K was one of the best running programs I'd ever seen, and that if everyone started with it, they would avoid cramps, stiches, and all the other YUCK that is associated with running. If you'd not done that, I recommend it. You'll knock his socks off. If you are like me, daring the naysayers generally motivates me even more rather than discouraging me, stubborn person that I am. (Er...he was running with me by the end of the summer...my whole family started running with me here and there. My ENTIRE family ran with me at the end of summer for a Susan G Komen Race for the Cure...in a downpour two hours from home. We had to get a hotel room to make it work. Sometimes, your passion rubs off on others, too!) I had a handicapper person, a speed walker, several children and elderly people pass me! But, I still finished like in the top five for my gender and age group out of thousands. You just never know by what you see. Don't go by what might discourage you. Just give your best.

To walk for an hour is not unheard of...most people CAN do that. A 5K is touted as a race that EVERYONE with some level of health or wellness CAN do at some level. They may not always run, but the runners start in front, then the joggers, then the run/walkers, then the walkers follow behind. It's truly something worth duing, and worth building at. Just having your first race under your belt will be great experience for you.

This is where the term "SELF CONFIDENCE" becomes important, to value the opinions of others, consider them, and then do what you feel led to do in your heart...to at least try. And...find some running friends, join the running group on here, and find some "kindred spirits" and keep smiling!
Edited by JoanB5 On May 24, 2013 1:18 PM
  34972993
May 24, 2013 1:16 PM
You'd be surprised at how many "obese" folks run 5K's...you HAVE to get started somewhere. I started running when I was 210lbs. and managed to run a marathon at 140lbs. I did just fine (and lost the weight while I ran). Tell him you'll be fine...more and more people are losing weight by running these days.
May 24, 2013 1:17 PM
You'll be fine. It sounds like your dad is seriously over-reacting.

You know your own body much better than he does.
  14948418
May 24, 2013 1:17 PM
wow. :( that's pretty unfortunate to not have the support of your family.

you CAN do this. just know that.

sometimes my folks give me a hard time because i haven't been training often and they worry about my health. so they're always making sure i train properly before i do races. not that they have a huge say in anything, but for what it's worth, i *have* been training more and improving (ever so slightly) my snail's pace.
May 24, 2013 1:18 PM
I spent over half my life trying to please parents. I finally woke up and realized its my life to live.

Do the 5K !!! Set a reasonable goal. My reasonable goal was to get to the finish line. I moved it up a notch, and then set the goal to get to the finish line in under an hour.

Have someone take a picture of you crossing the finish line!
  27650058
May 24, 2013 1:18 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

Anyone else ever run into family issue with your fitness?


I have the opposite problem. My children think I'm too old to do this. I can walk 3 miles without feeling too bent out of shape and they need to mind their own business. If I can do it then so can you.

Your awesome!!! Both of you know your ability better then anyone be smart and yea press yourself to get better.
May 24, 2013 1:18 PM
Tell him to wise up, a 5k is only 3miles, that's just a good stretch of the legs here!
  26043086
May 24, 2013 1:19 PM
My husband is constantly worried I am going to risk my health in my weight loss. We are at the doctor almost every two weeks just to reassure him.
May 24, 2013 1:19 PM
QUOTE:

Anyone else ever run into family issue with your fitness?


My family knows me well enough to keep their mouths shut. Basically - telling me I can't do something, is a sure fire way to make me do it.


You know what - 5K's - you will be surprised the variety of folks who are there. You won't be the biggest or smallest, you won't be the fastest or the slowest. You've been exercising since January - you've got this.
  16888047
May 24, 2013 1:19 PM
tbh... I run ultra marathons and I love 5kms...

They are short quick and next to no stress on the body... Also to go all out is a nice feeling ya know...

Anyway, who cares, you know what will change his mind?

Ignore him, and run it, and PROVE you can do it, then he wont have anything to complain about will he?

He can't complain if you have done it already and are fine.
  12390670
May 24, 2013 1:20 PM
Interesting! I had a very similar situation with my family. I've never been the athletic type. When I told my mom and sister that I was going to start going to the gym to walk (WALK!) on the treadmill for half an hour a day, they told me OHMYGOSHBECAREFUL, you're going to hurt your knees, you'll twist an ankle, you'll have a heart attack, don't do it, etc. I understand they were concerned for my safety, but I was walking for Pete's sake in an air-conditioned gym on a treadmill. It was insulting for them to treat me like a delicate obese flower. So, I told them to leave me alone, I was 30 years old and could make my own decisions and it wasn't like I had decided to shoot heroin or something. It really taught me something about why I became obese in the first place if basic exercise can be potentially deadly. They also used to tell me not to eat too many fruits and vegetables or I'd get a stomachache. WTF, Mom??

ETA I'm the baby of the family and considerably younger than my siblings, so I've had an abundance of "parenting" my whole life because I was really cute. It was hard to get my independence, but I have it now as well as some self-confidence. :)
Edited by ChapinaGrande On May 24, 2013 1:24 PM
  24764416
May 24, 2013 1:20 PM
I purposefully did NOT tell my parents about my 5k, because i knew they would have a similar reaction.....it's sad.....but good to gauge what people's reactions will be before you decide to talk about it or not.

I walked the 5k (a Color Run....i highly recommend it!), I only told people on MFP about it - because i knew everyone on here would be super supportive. I had one friend join me there, but......was fine without the unwanted "support/advice" from my parents.

Do what is right for YOU!
May 24, 2013 1:20 PM
My dad also tells me "stop exercising too much you're gonna hurt yourself"
I know he's saying it in a protective way but I keep going because I know I can :D
May 24, 2013 1:21 PM
The only family issue I have is that my mother who is 69 (70 in June) can run a 5k & I can’t :-(. But that’s ok, my goal is to run one w/her, so that’s what I am going to do.
May 24, 2013 1:22 PM
QUOTE:

The only family issue I have is that my mother who is 69 (70 in June) can run a 5k & I can’t :-(. But that’s ok, my goal is to run one w/her, so that’s what I am going to do.

Your mother is boss! You gotta keep up!

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