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TOPIC: to all the "i wanna be soft and feminine" types

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May 3, 2013 2:00 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

But I am saying, stop it with the "I don't want to lift heavy because I want to be feminine" crap. What you are saying when you say you want to be "feminine" is that you want a higher body fat percentage than someone who has "rock solid abs." And that's ok. It doesn't have anything to do with lifting or not. Please understand that.


I'm not sure why you think you should speak for others, but ...

You can have low body fat and not have rock solid abs.
You can have low body fat and rock solid abs without ever lifitng a weight.


this is in response to a lot of conversation happening earlier today where someone kept saying "I don't want to lift! I want to be feminine and soft" and posting pics of women with abs you can see (as examples of what is "not feminine") vs women without visible ab muscles (her personal ideal of feminine). I know you can have abs without lifting weights because the visibility of ab muscles is a function of body fat percentage, not of the size or strength of the muscles underneath. Everyone has ab muscles. It's a fact. The visibility of those muscles has to do with body fat. I am trying to challenge this myth that lifting a heavy weight is automatically going to turn you into chisled muscles. I wish it were so. But it's not.


Yes, I believe I saw the post to which you refer. And while that poster obviously had a chip on her shoulder, probably from another post as these things do seem to breed, I think her point was that many women don't think they are going to end up looking like Dwayne Johnson if they lift weights. It's unfortunate that the OP in that post chose to include insults in her post, but I'm not sure telling those that don't want to lift heavy what they "are really saying" comes acress as much less insulting.

The fact is, feminine is pretty much an opinion. Whether or not muscles or fat figure into that opinion is personal.

fem·i·nine/ˈfɛmənɪn/ Show Spelled [fem-uh-nin]
adjective
1. pertaining to a woman or girl: feminine beauty; feminine dress.
2. having qualities traditionally ascribed to women, as sensitivity or gentleness.
3. effeminate; womanish: a man with a feminine walk.
4. belonging to the female sex; female: feminine staff members.
5. Grammar . noting or pertaining to that one of the three genders of Latin, Greek, German, etc., or one of the two genders of French, Spanish, hebrew, etc., having among its members most nouns referring to females, as well as other nouns, as Latin stella “star,” or German Zeit “time.”

Congrats on your progress BTW.
Edited by bcattoes On May 3, 2013 2:00 PM
May 3, 2013 2:16 PM
Bcattoes

If you identify as a woman, you are feminine.

If you don't want to lift, don't lift.

QUOTE:

...."I don't want to lift heavy because I want to be feminine" crap. What you are saying when you say you want to be "feminine" is that you want a higher body fat percentage than someone who has "rock solid abs."


If you say you don't want to lift because you want to be feminine, and you support that assertion by showing pics of women with visible muscles as what you do not want to become and pics of women with less visible muscles as your idea of "feminine," I am sorry if it offends you but what is being said is "feminine" is a person with a higher body fat percentage than someone who's lower body fat is allowing her muscles to be visible. Maybe you think I consider that a bad thing. I really don't.

These women are all feminine:

Image not displayed

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Here is some more context for you about body fat (all of these women are feminine):

Image not displayed


ETA: what I do consider bad is promoting the idea that a form of exercise is going to make you look a way you don't want to look when that assertion is utter rubbish.
Edited by CorvusCorax77 On May 3, 2013 2:20 PM
May 3, 2013 2:25 PM
and just to be clear.

You said "I'm not sure telling those that don't want to lift heavy what they "are really saying" comes across as much less insulting." I am not saying anything to "those that don't want to lift heavy" because there are many reasons people might not want to lift heavy, including laziness, injuries, or just a lack of interest. I am speaking to those who say "I don't want to lift heavy because I want to be feminine" I thought that was clear in my OP.
May 3, 2013 2:26 PM
you are beautiful!!!!!
  29566697
May 3, 2013 2:28 PM
I cant wait until my abs start to look better started lifting recently I cant see changes yet (its been 2 days lol) But I know I will :D
  27248585
May 3, 2013 2:29 PM
I would love to be a little less "soft and feminine." Rock hard on a women is hot!
May 3, 2013 2:33 PM
HOT! devil
May 3, 2013 2:44 PM
You look amazing!
  19648884
May 3, 2013 2:47 PM
Love the second pic! You're gorgeous!
  21803353
May 3, 2013 3:02 PM
QUOTE:



These women are all feminine:

Image not displayed


I just found her blog, and she is awesome.

As for the OP, yep yep yep!
May 3, 2013 3:03 PM
Looking fantastic!!
  14576784
May 3, 2013 3:12 PM
Not only does she have a smokin bod, she's also sharp as a tack.

The woman's got brains yo. drinker
  4387768
May 3, 2013 3:17 PM
QUOTE:

Not only does she have a smokin bod, she's also sharp as a tack.

The woman's got brains yo. drinker


awww, thanks mexipino! You and Taso have been immeasurably helpful in me learning how to squat right! Thank you!!
May 3, 2013 3:18 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

But I am saying, stop it with the "I don't want to lift heavy because I want to be feminine" crap. What you are saying when you say you want to be "feminine" is that you want a higher body fat percentage than someone who has "rock solid abs." And that's ok. It doesn't have anything to do with lifting or not. Please understand that.


I'm not sure why you think you should speak for others, but ...

You can have low body fat and not have rock solid abs.
You can have low body fat and rock solid abs without ever lifitng a weight.


I'm pretty sure that every thread I see this poster on, she is being contrary...

Awesome job.
You look great.
I lift heavy but have higher body fat and you made me feel better about myself today.
Love the artwork.
Haters gonna hate.
I read something that Gwyneth Paltrow said today about when you read something nasty that someone writes about you, they are hurting, so imagine they are writing it to themselves.
heart
  6965061
May 3, 2013 3:28 PM
You are smokin' hot! flowerforyou
May 3, 2013 3:31 PM
The picture with the brown polka dot dress is pretty much the cutest picture ever.
  6438378
May 3, 2013 4:09 PM
Beautiful!! heart
  25167640
May 3, 2013 4:19 PM
Winning thread!! You look awesome and have a spot on message!! heart
  10620094
May 3, 2013 4:31 PM
QUOTE:

and just to be clear.

You said "I'm not sure telling those that don't want to lift heavy what they "are really saying" comes across as much less insulting." I am not saying anything to "those that don't want to lift heavy" because there are many reasons people might not want to lift heavy, including laziness, injuries, or just a lack of interest. I am speaking to those who say "I don't want to lift heavy because I want to be feminine" I thought that was clear in my OP.


You were crystal clear. It is a shame that people have to come in to such a great thread and nit pick and make negative comments. Again, congrats on your results and the message you are sending!!!!
  10620094
May 6, 2013 4:13 PM
I wanted to thank everyone for their positive comments... also to ask a question... There was a comment in here that appears to have been deleted. Anyone know what's up with that?

It said something about people being conceited- someone responded to it. I was curious where that was gonna go, but I guess it got modded out of sight?
May 6, 2013 5:10 PM
QUOTE:

I wanted to thank everyone for their positive comments... also to ask a question... There was a comment in here that appears to have been deleted. Anyone know what's up with that?

It said something about people being conceited- someone responded to it. I was curious where that was gonna go, but I guess it got modded out of sight?

I remember the comment you're talking about. Something about not remembering where you came from and how posting pics is conceited? It seemed so random and uncalled for. I'm sure it got nuked by the mods.

Edited for typos.
Edited by BigBrunette On May 6, 2013 5:11 PM
  5107333
May 7, 2013 9:00 AM
QUOTE:

ETA: what I do consider bad is promoting the idea that a form of exercise is going to make you look a way you don't want to look when that assertion is utter rubbish.


??? Different exercises do produce different looks.
May 7, 2013 9:05 AM
QUOTE:

and just to be clear.

You said "I'm not sure telling those that don't want to lift heavy what they "are really saying" comes across as much less insulting." I am not saying anything to "those that don't want to lift heavy" because there are many reasons people might not want to lift heavy, including laziness, injuries, or just a lack of interest. I am speaking to those who say "I don't want to lift heavy because I want to be feminine" I thought that was clear in my OP.


Re-phrasing what someone has said always comes off as insulting IMO. As if you know what they meant and it wasn't what they said. It's like saying "Let me help you out since you can't articulate your own thoughts". Maybe they meant exactly what they said.
May 8, 2013 10:11 AM
QUOTE:

I wanted to thank everyone for their positive comments... also to ask a question... There was a comment in here that appears to have been deleted. Anyone know what's up with that?

It said something about people being conceited- someone responded to it. I was curious where that was gonna go, but I guess it got modded out of sight?


Right, I replied to that and it looks like my reply was deleted as well. She said something about being people being full of themselves and forgetting where they came from. I also remember I wasn't the only one who replied saying they better not be referring to you.
Pretty much every thread on here gets at least one or two trolls. You also got bcattoes trying to fight everything positive about this thread.
  6965061
May 8, 2013 10:54 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

I wanted to thank everyone for their positive comments... also to ask a question... There was a comment in here that appears to have been deleted. Anyone know what's up with that?

It said something about people being conceited- someone responded to it. I was curious where that was gonna go, but I guess it got modded out of sight?


Right, I replied to that and it looks like my reply was deleted as well. She said something about being people being full of themselves and forgetting where they came from. I also remember I wasn't the only one who replied saying they better not be referring to you.
Pretty much every thread on here gets at least one or two trolls. You also got bcattoes trying to fight everything positive about this thread.


I'm glad it got taken down. It doesn't make any sense to say it is conceited to post pics of yourself on a fitness website. Or to assume I have forgotten where I came from....considering I was obese for about 7 years. One doesn't forget 7 years of their 20's being viewed as the most undesirable girl in the club because she's obese.

Bcattoes,

I have no desire to continue arguing with you over this. People can read what I said, what you said, what I said, what you said. I think they can make informed decisions at this point about what they want to think about lifting and our communication styles. I think we both made our positions relatively clear. I do wish you the best in your fitness goals, whatever they are, and I don't hold you or anyone in less respect for choosing to not lift weights. I do expect people to understand that lifting heavy weights does not undermine a woman's femininity though. Which is what this was all about in the first place.

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