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TOPIC: Tired of being unhappy...

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April 18, 2013 8:50 PM
I gotta be honest. This is not the first time I tried this. I created an account on MFP like an year ago, and I lost like 30lb, but I stopped tracking and eventually quit. I hate myself for giving-up. I had so many supportive friends on here, and I let them and myself down. Yes, I gained back that 30lb I lost...and more.

I'm back, because I'm just so tired of being unhappy. Everyone I know would tell you I'm always smiling and I'm a happy person. I'm very friendly, and I love to talk. I have a very out-going personality, and people rarely see me angry or sad...but inside, I'm crying & screaming for help. I'm constantly depressed about not only my weight, but about personal stuff, and use food to comfort me.

I'm married to a bodybuilder. He's 6ft 1in, and between 220~240lb of pure muscle with less than 5% body fat. I'm 5ft 1in, and currently 220lb with 47% body fat (that means almost half of my body is all FAT!!). I was smaller when he met me...but I've never been skinny. I think I was between 140~160lb (which is still technically overweight, but I still felt comfortable).

Everybody thinks losing weight should be easy if my husband practically lives in a gym. Not true. It's actually harder for me. He works-out a lot, but he eats whatever he wants (unless he's dieting for one of his competitions). He loves to eat, so I cook for him all the time, and I can't help but eat what I make. Since he does his strict diet before competitions, when he doesn't compete, he doesn't want to eat all the healthy stuff (because he's so sick of it). Which messes me up, because he wants to eat all the food I shouldn't eat. How can I eat salad when I'm cooking Chicken Alfredo pasta for him?

Anyway....I made a decision to do it for real this time. No more quitting. No more feeling sorry for myself and making excuses not to get healthy. I'm tired of being out of breath just to climb up to my 3rd floor apartment. I'm tired of having to hold my breath and suck my stomach in, just to tie my shoes. I'm tired of not fitting into any of my nice clothes and always feeling ugly and fat. Though I want my husband to think I'm sexy again...I'm not doing it only for him. I'm doing this for myself...because I'm just tired of being unhappy. I'm a good person, and I deserve to be happy. There's so much I want to do in life, and my weight is holding me back from it all. I can be so much more than I am now. I decided to get healthy the right way....but I need MFP friends back for support.

Thanks for listening, and hope to start this journey with some amazing people. Feel free to add me as your friend if you want to do this together. :-)
April 18, 2013 8:53 PM
I have a similar story Yuko, but I this is my first time here. I hope that we can support each-other! I need to lose 30 lbs!
April 18, 2013 8:57 PM
my ticker doesn't lie, feel free to add me :) I am trying to push forward past the need to over eat and just be HAPPY AND HEALTHY :)
  31525512
April 18, 2013 9:02 PM
I'm 28, 5'3 and have dieted my whole life. I'm now a mother of 3 and after 3 pregnancies in 5 years, I;ve got to do something! I get motivated and do good but see no results = quiting and still being miserable.. Maybe this will work this time! Happy to support and help and listen for anyone whos ready too!!
April 18, 2013 9:03 PM
I think everyone feels the same as you. You're not alone. Don't give up! Just keep going even though it's hard. You can add me if you want :)
April 18, 2013 9:10 PM
Everyone, thank you for all the support. I'm feeling positive about everything already. What a difference it makes when you don't feel like you're all alone in what seems to feel like a long journey.
April 18, 2013 9:11 PM
You can do it!!
  15965097
April 18, 2013 9:21 PM
I know exactly how you feel! Fist time here... I'm hoping this time I can lose..and keep 30lbs off for good...letsvdonthis together add me If u want :D
April 18, 2013 9:24 PM
Your not alone. We are all in the same boat, don't give up. Sent you a request. Good luck to you :)
April 18, 2013 9:27 PM
work is worship.....do your work and forget about the result
April 18, 2013 9:30 PM
You cook for your husband?
  40173123
April 18, 2013 9:37 PM
I am with you. I just sent you a friend request. I feel the same way you do about happiness and how this is a state of mind we all deserve to have and feel. Lets fight for it and the only way is by changing our mind to change our body and through hard work and in this weight loss journey/lifestyle change we will accomplish it.
April 18, 2013 9:48 PM
I know exactly how you feel. I'm new here and I'm so glad. Could use the motivation as well as a few friends.
  42142852
April 18, 2013 9:53 PM
Hi Yuko
Thank you for sharing your story.
I am new and I really have hope that this program it is for me. I am open to any suggestions since I am learning from all of you.
I need to loose at least15 pounce but it is harder to loose because of my age (59). I am determine to continue to this program and I like it.
I know that you are going to do very well and reclaim your happy spirit back soon. Be gentle with your self.
With loving
Nico
  41751557
April 18, 2013 10:22 PM
QUOTE:

work is worship.....do your work and forget about the result


this is a good one :), I try to stay away from my scale and measuring tape and I notice I am a lot happier and work out a lot more!
  31525512
April 18, 2013 10:38 PM
You're definitely not alone. It's not easy to log every single thing that you eat. Our lives are super busy as it is, but with the right motivation you can do it! Feel free to add me. Good luck to you dear. :-)
April 18, 2013 10:43 PM
Good luck! Welcome back. I also found it hard not to eat what I cooked but I did it or at least sometimes had smaller portions of it.
  3872484
April 19, 2013 3:25 AM
Yeah just because your significant other is in really good shape, it certainly doesn't make it any easier to get in shape yourself! I definitely understand that one from experience

Just stay consistent you got it!
  34302608
April 19, 2013 4:34 AM
I feel the same way, I dont even want to go out or do dinner or anything like that because of the dressing up part. i hate not fitting into anything or buying anything that i feel looks right on me. This used to be my fun was to dress up and go to dinner or out, since i work 60 hrs a week. With 5 kids this is rare to do, im new to mfp and today i weight in after a week :) trying really hard but its really hard to keep up with especially since i LOVE FOOD!
April 19, 2013 4:35 AM
add me chick - ill whinge when your naughty and cheer when you do good :)
  8599895
April 19, 2013 4:38 AM
You can do this. I felt the exact same way. I was so unhappy and stayed home because I was so embarrassed of how I let myself go. It takes hard work, and determination. I can tell you that my life has changed for the better. I'm a happy. I feel like I'm a better Mother as well.
Also, I'm a huge emotional eater. When I get the urge (which is a lot) I make sure I have healthy choices in the house, and brisk walking with my ipod has helped so much, nothing like music to get you in a good mood!

You've got this!!! smile
Edited by super_J73 On April 19, 2013 4:41 AM
April 19, 2013 4:48 AM
I can SO relate to what you are saying, this is so me it seems like you was writing about me.
Last weekend my daughter told me about MFP and so I am VERY new at this but oh my gosh I SO love it ! I must say though I think loosing weight has got to be one of the hardest things to do in life. But I really have a positive attitude that I am going to do it this time - I SO need to! Please feel free to add me if you like - I think (know) having those to talk to is one very important tool to help us along our journey of loosing weight. Thanks for your message & GOOD LUCK !!!
April 19, 2013 4:55 AM
I just started again yesterday too and am so ready for a do over. I'll send you a request. Keep tracking!!
Edited by katper15 On April 19, 2013 4:56 AM
April 19, 2013 5:37 AM
welcome back, and good luck!! I cook for my husband too...sometimes I "healthy it up" and we both eat it, sometimes we have the same side dish but seperate proteins, sometimes its 2 totally different meals...I cook a lot of my stuff ahead of time so its ready to go and I can cook his dinner while mine is more just reheating...is it more work, yeah...is it worth it to me, yes!!
  30304391
April 19, 2013 8:12 AM
Girl my husband is in excellent shape and it comes so easy for him to lose any extra weight he might want! I'm a stay at home mom and with my husbands schedule there is weeks I'm cooking 3 meals a day! Of course you have to taste it. Even being from the south I cook very healthy, and not to toot my own horn but I'm a pretty awesome cook! However all the healthy cooking in the world won't help if I can't control how much of it I stuff in my mouth!!! Haha I find it much easier to stay on top of my diet when he's at work! I also find if I basically eat the same things daily its easier not to stray. I'm wishing us all luck! Loosing weight used to come relatively easy for me pre kids, I could skip a meal or 2 and feel better, now I can look at food and gain 5lbs! So together with help and motivation we can do it!

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