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TOPIC: Just broke up. ...feeling my motivation slipping away.

 
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February 6, 2013 3:16 PM
I wish I had some good advice for you. I've never dealt with a breakup (married the first guy I dated, no regrets!), but have had some serious issues come up between my husband and I that I allowed to push me off track. At that point my starting weight was lower than this time around, and I'd lost 20+ lbs already, but I just dropped everything good that I was doing with my health, and gained the 20, plus 20 more beyond. So please grieve as you need to, but push through it, don't allow it to do to you what happened to me.
  24223134
February 6, 2013 3:17 PM
i didnt cope i regained 60lbs.... trust me, you dont wanna go down that road x
  25406898
February 6, 2013 3:18 PM
Use it as motivation!! Make him regret breaking up with you when he sees you all sexy and confident!!! Remember, you are doing this weight loss for yourself! Keep going and let the pieces fall where they may :)
February 6, 2013 3:18 PM
Just to clarify, my weight had nothing to do with our breakup. I'm getting in shape for myself, period. He was actually really supportive of my decision to get into better shape. Which is weird, because I almost feel like my getting in shape has pushed us apart on some level - don't really know why though. Thanks for all the advice, and I think I'm going to try and get in tonight's workout in one form or another. I just feel. ...empty. I know that whatever happens, things will be okay, but in this moment, I dunno. I just don't know where I am. This wasn't at all how I expected this day to go. I wish something about this situation made sense to me. But, when dealing with another person, sometimes the things they do just don't add up for you. I guess I just have to live with that. Thanks again, ya'll.
  22002412
February 6, 2013 3:18 PM
QUOTE:

Step 1) Get really skinny and hot
Step 2) When he asks to get back together say NO
Step 3) Feel awesome!


Exactly :)
February 6, 2013 3:21 PM
QUOTE:

Go sleep with someone right away! ASAP, before he decides he made a huge mistake and wants to get back together.


Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
February 6, 2013 3:49 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

Go sleep with someone right away! ASAP, before he decides he made a huge mistake and wants to get back together.


Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

This is so beyond disgusting!!!!
February 6, 2013 3:51 PM
guuuurllll. I know you are sad but if you keep working at it and you will make him super jealous later and it will feel good! Just sayin'

Also, the book "It's called a break up because it's broken" is excellent.
February 6, 2013 4:00 PM
Stay strong and try your best not to get into self-pity mode 'cause it'll be a slippery slope.
Also check out baggagereclaim.com. That site helped me so much with the whole break-up angst stuff.
  20357402
February 6, 2013 4:18 PM
I read your blog and my heart goes out for you. I think everyone has been where you are once in there life. Everyone can give you advise but you know yourself the best. Take whatever time you need. You will never know why so don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure that out. I say take one day at a time and do not let someone destroy you. If you have a goal stick with it. Guys will come and go but love yourself. You will meet someone else.

Take some time and feel sad and than stick with your goals because the best revenge against your ex is for him to see you happy and not sad and especially if he sees you looking hot.

I wish you the best and one day you will look back at this and your ex will just be a memory from your past.
February 6, 2013 4:42 PM
Aww Hun in so sorry that has happened to you.
Do what you feel is right for you but just remember that any amount of ice cream etc wont make you feel better long term.
Why not go for a walk not to exercise but to clear your head.
X
  4157877
February 6, 2013 4:42 PM
Breakup can cause depression which sucks but exercise releases endorphins which is good. I say go do what ever exercise you like till you feel better.
  35652756
February 6, 2013 4:50 PM
Sorry about the breakup...few things feel worse. All you can do is try to push through it and know that you'll feel better that much sooner if you stay on path.
  232091
February 6, 2013 4:51 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

Go sleep with someone right away! ASAP, before he decides he made a huge mistake and wants to get back together.


Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

This is so beyond disgusting!!!!


How so? Sex isn't gross and neither is casual sex. It can help with a broken heart, or it can just be a good way to get one's mind off of their troubles for a night.
  30690295
February 6, 2013 4:54 PM
All really normal reactions to a break-up. But don't make this about him. Make it about your bright, healthy future. Go for that run and then go out with friends. Don't have your pity party alone!
  34167507
February 6, 2013 4:56 PM
QUOTE:

Step 1) Get really skinny and hot
Step 2) When he asks to get back together say NO
Step 3) Feel awesome!


^^^ Here's your winner! Make that loser regret the day he ever let you go. Your health, fitness and hotness are YOURS. It'll hurt at first. You'll want to take him back or even pursue him. But remember you're better than that. If he couldn't see it, you deserve someone a WHOLE lot smarter and more appreciative.
  30313593
February 6, 2013 4:58 PM
I had the exact opposite happen. I was SO sad, at first I couldn't eat anything. Then I said to myself, "Fine....this time is for ME and I am going to get thin and show that SOB what a fool he was." And I did. It was my motivation to lose weight.

But then we got back together and I gained it all back....LOL!! So THIS time, its for keeps. :)
  23159244
February 6, 2013 5:02 PM
Here's what you do.

You keep at it. Finish your workouts. Meet your goals. Look absolutely fantastic. Do it for you. You deserve it.

Then shove it in his face :)
February 6, 2013 5:08 PM
I have to say that I understand where you are emotionally...who among us has never been there. That said, you get to throw a pity party tonight...but don't go over board. Curl up in your cozy PJ's, slip under a blanket and yes if you want comfort food...pick ONE thing have it and a good cry tonight. BUT TOMORROW WE FIGHT!!! Don't let this person who is no longer a part of your life or future determine your success or failure. The best revenge is always to look better than you did when they left! I don't know who was right or wrong and I don't care because it doesn't matter. You should be doing this for YOUR health and benefit. The treadmill or a kick boxing class is always a good place to leave some tears behind...then wash all the negative energy away with a hot shower or bath. Good luck to you and I hope you pull through this quickly.
  33173143
February 6, 2013 5:09 PM
QUOTE:

There are two schools of thought here:


1] Go work out. Smash sh!t. Run hard. Let the emotions drive you, and when you're done you will feel AMAZING.

2] Stop at the store, grab some ice cream, get in your jammies and watch a good movie while you cry and eat the whole tub. Emotions are important - we need to feel them and acknowledge them... if you don't take some time to 'cry it out' now, you'll need to eventually.


My personal choice would be to do 1 and then 2, and feel like a rock star in the morning.





I like this idea, you can still have your sorrow foods but at least if you have a hard workout beforehand, the food is on YOUR terms, not just based on the sadness. A breakup is a really crappy thing to go through, but this (getting into shape, etc) is something that you can do for yourself, because no one deserves it more than you!
  6138219
February 6, 2013 5:13 PM
Well, I got cheated on a few weeks ago and lost all motivation to do anything. I didn't want to work out, didn't want to eat, didn't want to go to work or school. It took a few days of being down to realize that I deserve better. My body deserves better. Now I'm pushing myself harder than ever to get to my goal.

Give yourself a few days. Sure, you're upset now, but it'll pass. Someone or something better is waiting for you just around the corner. Focus on yourself. Get healthy emotionally and physically. Someone more deserving will take notice in no time.

flowerforyou
  11182891
February 6, 2013 5:13 PM
Hey!
I have been thru 4 breakups since I started MFP, I think they pushed me to work harder.
Just think how much more fit, sexy, and confident you will be if you keep working at that goal for the next man who deserves you!

And also, exercise MAKES YOU FEEL FANTASTIC. Getting out for a run would help me clear my head and I would come home on top of the world, really.

Keep your chin up, I have been thru alot of man crap recently and if I can do it, so can you!
  6459278
February 6, 2013 5:16 PM
QUOTE:

I actually used my breakups, and subsequent divorce, as more motivation to get in shape, work out, and lose weight... There is no better revenge than making yourself even better looking and healthier than they remember....

If you go exercise, remember the endorphin rush will help make you feel better. If your gym has a sauna/steam room/hot tub, take adventage of that and use it to relax and calm your nerves...


The best advice yet!

@RingSize8, the food will not comfort you. It only masks itself and then you'll feel some guilt for eating it. You're losing weight for a reason...a purpose...and it wasn't him. Keep doing this for you. You will be so proud of yourself as you move throught this emotional break of not falling back on old habits.

Always remember you're the best person to love yourself the most.
  32493017
February 6, 2013 5:17 PM
QUOTE:

I'm with Kortney. I think you're entitled to do whatever you feel you need to do to get through.

Hell. Eat the ice-cream WHILE working out.

Grief is a necessary human emotion, but it sucks; you'll find out how to cope once you're over the initial rush.


I think everyone has it right. Especially the quote above -- run and eat ice cream, DO IT.

Work out and burn out that anger/sadness/emotion, and then eat comfort food!
Then maybe in a few days, get back on track, and find the next bachelor!
February 6, 2013 5:17 PM
QUOTE:

Use it as fuel..
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