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TOPIC: Should your spouse tell you when you need to loose weight?

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February 6, 2013 2:20 PM
Or just realize you inserted your foot. Into your mouth. lol
February 6, 2013 2:37 PM
My solution was to say, "Hey, I'm feeling heavier than I'd like to be, and we're going on a tropical vacation together in three months--wanna learn how to count calories and do the healthy food thing with me?"

He was on board. And of course, he's lost twice as much weight as me. laugh Men.
February 6, 2013 2:44 PM
Yes... you should absolutely tell your partner or spouse to loose weight and be healthier. Your partner should be supportive, encourageing and help you meet your goals and vs. versa. Its a 2 way street. If he's/she is unhealthy tell them to change. I am on the otherside of the fence... my partner told me to loose weight, and yeah at first I was sensitive about it and took it very badly... I would argue and fight, with him becuase I didnt want to hear it. But I realized I was only sensitive becuase he was telling me a truth I didnt want to hear.

2 years, 112lbs and some oz. later and I am a better me. There are so many good reasons to loose weight that when I realized he wasn't trying to hurt me, he was trying to help me. My persective changed and we got closer as a couple. We work out together, meal plan together, we're more attracted to each other... its awesome. We have to let go of the emotions, and realize our spouses/partners arent trying to hurt us... they care for us, love us ... and want us to to live better, fuller, healthier lives. Thats my take.
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February 6, 2013 2:56 PM
I'm not married but if I was, I'd want my husband to let me know if it seemed like I was gaining too much weight. It's one of those situations when really it's about how you put it across. I'd expect the guy to be supportive but not "too nice" either and definitely not labour the point.
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February 6, 2013 3:03 PM
For me, having my s/o tell me I need to lose weight is not incentive at all. It's the opposite. My first husband is the direct cause for the start of my weight gain so many years ago. I was 10 pounds heavier than when we met , but still classified as average weight for my height (5'4 130 when we met and 140 after) according to Air Force fitness tests and the BMI charts ( I was active duty). He had the nerve to tell his family I was getting fat behind my back. And then when I confronted him about it, his response was "don't you want to look good for me? Don't you want to look good on my arm when we go out?"

Because I knew he thought I was fat, my confidence level plummeted. I stopped wearing anything that showed skin and never took off more than I had to around him. I slowly started becoming a hermit. That marriage ended early. My current husband ( 10 years together) never tried to sway me even when he ended up losing over 70 pounds when he started running. When I finally decided to get off my butt, I asked him why he never tried to get me to workout with him. His answer was "because its something you have to decide for yourself."
Edited by Pink_Tina On February 6, 2013 3:04 PM
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February 6, 2013 3:15 PM
I think every person is different when it comes to communication like this. It is good to have open but it needsi to be more than just that. Weight loss should never be because of someone else's view. Being able to communicate will help open the doors but won't make someone lose the weight. The chose will be the person's. Everyone is different on subjects like this. I find it is more than just communication that helps when with a spouse.

When I first started to lose weight I had to make two meals because my ex told me he didn't want to eat my crap. Without the support my effort to lose weight stopped because I was getting tired of the lack of support. It can hurt when someone says you have to lose weight but I find it hurts more when the person tells you to lose weight but is unhealthy themselves. Someone saying are you should you should eat that as they have a huge pizza.

I understand a spouse should be able to be honest about anything but with that honesty be prepared with a response. If there is going to be honesty like that I think than maybe there needs to be support with it.
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