Message Boards » Fitness and Exercise

TOPIC: Father brings his daughter into the men's locker room

 
Ic_disabled_photos
Topic has been inactive for 30 days or more and images have been disabled.
Display All Images
January 24, 2013 11:22 AM
QUOTE:

We have multiple family locker rooms. "What's wrong with you? This is a mens locker room and it's no place for a little girl!", I said. The morons reply? "Well she's four years old". . . . . Huh?


Wow I guess when she starts remembering seeing his junk and doesn't like talking to him because of it then he will realize his big mistake... kids don't need to see that, they may be young but they are incredibly impressionable especially at young ages. He needs to learn how to go to a family locker room where her eyes are protected from seeing dong to early.
January 24, 2013 11:23 AM
That's just crazy to me, and gross. I also think it's equally gross and creepy for women to bring their sons into the women's locker room, especially if a family locker room is available.

Then again I don't like to anyone to see me naked, so I wouldn't get undressed in a locker room anyway or use it at all. :)
January 24, 2013 11:25 AM
This one is tough. Not everyone freaks about nudity. He was more than likely 100% okay with his daughter being there so I don't really see the issue. She is four and besides asking questions, there was nothing really inappropriate about it IMO. No one was doing anything that would scar her so it's not really a big deal.
  5377565
January 24, 2013 11:25 AM
QUOTE:

I wouldn't think twice if someone brought a 4 yr old boy into the women's locker room. I don't really see the big deal either. If there were family locker rooms available though then he's just an idiot.


THIS^^^^
January 24, 2013 11:29 AM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

For me, this discussion just reinforces the need in public areas to have clear and consistent guidelines that are enforced. Some people have legitimate differences of opinion and some don't have an ounce of common sense or common courtesy.

We have very nice family changing rooms, so we keep the rules simple: in the men's or women's locker rooms, all the parts have to match, otherwise use the family rooms. Yeah, sometimes you might to wait 5 minutest. TS.

As a group, people are not that rational, especially when it comes to their kids. I guarantee that I'd we let 2 yr olds of mixed gender in the locker rooms, in no time at all, some helicopter parent would be bringing in teenagers

It's the norm here, and I've never seen that happen.

I am not traumatised from remembering the mens changing room, i am just glad i got to go swimming instead of having to stay home because my mum can't swim. I'm sure i would have been traumatised at least for a while about a man coming up to my dad and shouting at him about me (although if it happened i think now i could probably look back and see he was just a dumbass).

I still new it was not ok for people to touch me, and that's it's not right for someone to jump out a bush waggling their penis at me.

I have also seen the nude form in non sexual artwork *gasp*

Seriously what do you want to do in the changing room that you can't do with a kid there, make a porno?! I am not all that exposed in the changing rooms myself anyway.


You are missing my point. I am not advocating a position one way or the other. I work in these situations every day, so it is not a hypothetical. My opinion on whether or not it is appropriate is irrelevant. But, when you have 3,000 people sharing space, you have to try to make everyone feel comfortable. It's not my job to change society's attitudes towards public nudity.

Some people are selfish jerks and a lot of people are morons. I don't have the time or interest to sort them all out. Which leads to my original point, which is that, whatever the position of the establishment, you need to have policies that are clearly communicated and consistently enforced. And, in a large group situation, especially a situation in which people have voluntarily joined and agreed to abide by the policies and procedures, you don't get to pick and choose which rules you want to follow.

I was referring to your point of guaranteeing if we let 2 year olds in you "guarantee" helicopter parents would start bringing teens in.

Everything else i said was in reply to other points raised over and over again in this thread.
January 24, 2013 11:30 AM
QUOTE:

We have multiple family locker rooms. "What's wrong with you? This is a mens locker room and it's no place for a little girl!", I said. The morons reply? "Well she's four years old". . . . . Huh?


If a child is old enough to recognize and verbally identify (even using childlike terms) parts of the human anatomy, they are too old to be in the same room with a naked member of the opposite sex. Sorta makes me wonder what goes on in their home. huh
January 24, 2013 11:35 AM
clueless. It's like women who their sons into the female locker room. I will never forget a few years ago I was going to swim at the pool and a woman brought her son (who had to be at least 7) into the locker room. I freaked out and she just didn't get that it was completely inappropriate.
  7358406
January 24, 2013 11:37 AM
Men walk around naked in gym locker rooms?? my gym does not have naked women walking around. In a towel yes, but not naked. hmmm
January 24, 2013 11:43 AM
Just had another thought. Those saying its not appropriate for young girls to be in the same changing rooms as men, lest they do anything to her while her dad is there, or lest she think its ok for strange men in the street to do things to her, shouldn't the same then apply to young boys being in with men? Young boys are commonly molested by some men also. The options then are of course seperate kids changing rooms, which of course leaves kids to young to get dressed themselves with problems, or every single person with a child of any sex must use the family locker rooms. Yes, a ridiculous idea, but I don't really see it as any different, both boys and girls get preyed on. What if a little boy thinks its ok for a man to expose himself to the boy in the street as he has seen it in the locker room?
Edited by obsidianwings On January 24, 2013 11:44 AM
January 24, 2013 11:46 AM
QUOTE:

I wouldn't think twice if someone brought a 4 yr old boy into the women's locker room. I don't really see the big deal either. If there were family locker rooms available though then he's just an idiot.


Agree
We dont have family locker rooms so any child 8 and over has to go in locker room on own. So we have little boys come in the girls locker room up till 7 yrs old. My son is 3 and goes in the womens locker room with me. Now if we had family ones then yea I would not do that but if not I am not sending my 4 year old into one other locker room while I am in the other. Not to mention that child could go right to the pool without me from locker room.
Edited by jenny95662 On January 24, 2013 11:52 AM
  83586
January 24, 2013 11:50 AM
I am over ten times her age and I think I MYSELF would be traumatized if I accidentally went into the men's locker room lol. Yeah almost every spa or gym I've gone too is very naked-ey <====new word.

When she is old enough and finds out what those dangly things are actually for, she will be terrified of dating. She should never see one full sized and up close like that before she is older and exploring stuff. Plus some old men are gross perv's how could he do that to his daughter?

He's clearly still thinking of her as a baby, and is like lots of parents today totally selfish and just cared about what's convenient for him, right now. Yeah no little kid should think it's okay for a grown up to expose themselves in another setting because they learned it at the gym with mommy or daddy. Don't workout that day if you're too lazy or weird to use the family locker room. Put your kids first damn it. Do you know how many fancy thin in shape parents I see with butterball kids who you know they spend all day in the gym and then don't give a crap what their kids eat or do all day. Some fit people take it too far and lose balance. Hope this never happens to me. [may have just given up on her diet for fear of losing all sense and reason someday].
Edited by MyChocolateDiet On January 24, 2013 12:01 PM
January 24, 2013 11:57 AM
QUOTE:

I am four times her age and I think I MYSELF would be traumatized if I accidentally went into the men's locker room.

If you are only 4 times a 4 year olds age you shouldn't even be on this site, but I think at 16 I wouldn't like being in the mens locker room either.
Its interesting how a lot of people who have never been in the situation are going on about how the child will definitely be traumatised for the rest of her life, it will affect her adult relationships etc, but all of the people who were actually taken into mens locker rooms as kids and are speaking up to say it was fine are totally ignored. i I could be wrong as its a long thread, but I think every single person here who has said about being in a mens locker room as a child has said they were not traumatised, don't think there was one person who said they were traumatised. I could be wrong as i'm not rereading the whole thread, but at least the vast majority are fine. Thats the "it will definitely traumatise her" theory blown out of the water really.
January 24, 2013 12:00 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

I'm still laughing at the image of a bunch of grown men scrambling for towels and standing on their tippy toes on a stool shrieking, "EEEEK!!!! A LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!"


Yeah, that's a whole lot funnier than thinking about them NOT covering up and wandering around with their junk hanging out like it normally is in the men's locker. If there's a family locker room it should have been used. It might be "no big deal" to some, but to others it may be a huge deal. Oh, and by the way there are real freaking pervs out there that would love to wag their weiner for a 4 year old.


Exactly! Some of these people who think they are so european and naked-ey should maybe go back to europe and leave us to raise our little kids in a penis free environment.
January 24, 2013 12:00 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

I am four times her age and I think I MYSELF would be traumatized if I accidentally went into the men's locker room.

If you are only 4 times a 4 year olds age you shouldn't even be on this site, but I think at 16 I wouldn't like being in the mens locker room either.
Its interesting how a lot of people who have never been in the situation are going on about how the child will definitely be traumatised for the rest of her life, it will affect her adult relationships etc, but all of the people who were actually taken into mens locker rooms as kids and are speaking up to say it was fine are totally ignored. i I could be wrong as its a long thread, but I think every single person here who has said about being in a mens locker room as a child has said they were not traumatised, don't think there was one person who said they were traumatised. I could be wrong as i'm not rereading the whole thread, but at least the vast majority are fine. Thats the "it will definitely traumatise her" theory blown out of the water really.


woops i meant 10 times....sorry just worked out...math brain turned off.
January 24, 2013 12:06 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

I am four times her age and I think I MYSELF would be traumatized if I accidentally went into the men's locker room.

If you are only 4 times a 4 year olds age you shouldn't even be on this site, but I think at 16 I wouldn't like being in the mens locker room either.
Its interesting how a lot of people who have never been in the situation are going on about how the child will definitely be traumatised for the rest of her life, it will affect her adult relationships etc, but all of the people who were actually taken into mens locker rooms as kids and are speaking up to say it was fine are totally ignored. i I could be wrong as its a long thread, but I think every single person here who has said about being in a mens locker room as a child has said they were not traumatised, don't think there was one person who said they were traumatised. I could be wrong as i'm not rereading the whole thread, but at least the vast majority are fine. Thats the "it will definitely traumatise her" theory blown out of the water really.


woops i meant 10 times....sorry just worked out...math brain turned off.


LOL ok, yeah as an adult I wouldn't really want to be in a mens locker room either, i'm far from a nudist, however with little children its just practicality not sexual. Yeah he probably should've used the family locker room if there was one ( don't know much about these as we don't have them, but it seems like it would be common courtesy to use one if there was one) but if it was full or something then no big deal, doesn't give OP the right to go off at him. If people were really that concerned about the little girl then the fact that a random man started shouting about her to her dad should be more of a concern.

Yes there are men that like 4 year old girls, I am not totally naive, however there are also men that like 4 year old boys. As long as their parents are with them nothing can happen anyway.
January 24, 2013 12:09 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

i agree a young girl should not be in a room full of naked men..anything could happen


Really?!?? What would happen to her with her father RIGHT THERE!! I doubt he is going to let her leave his side.


No kidding, statistically, she would be more in danger in a changing room with family. As sexual predators are usually family or friends.

Just one more post that prove how stupid and brainwashed society has made people.


No kidding a child not being shown proper boundaries by those in charge of her has a hard time maneuvering real life situations where a predator may be testing her limits. (Just because I didn't use a big old word like "statistics" doesn't mean I don't know that it's more likely to be a friend or family member who gets their mitts on her, but just cause the other is less "likely" doesn't mean it doesn't happen. The OP is right to be outraged for her, embarrassed for himself and I am PROUD of him for standing up for that little girl who is too young to do so. I hope that man and the gym rethink whatever they were thinking when this occured.

PS I actually had a man yell at ME for backing into a parking spot where he CLAIMED his little girl was standing and when i told him, hey I always look in my mirror and I checked both of them and there was nobody there, he told me that she SHOULD have been there because he told HER TO HOLD THE SPOT FOR HIM BY STANDING there while he got the car to move it to park closer. (at the laundry) Man too lazy to wheel laundry cart to car 5 spots down endangers daughter and yells at stranger. So just like the OP here, I yelled at that man back! Well then WHY would you leave your little kid alone in a parking lot at all for, no reason justifies this. He took the point and clammed up the next few times I saw him as I passed the laundry mat repeatedly while bringin my purchases to the car. When I told my hubby he said "good" to my reprimanding him. Some people need to be told and I'm proud of the OP for being man enough to do that, even while naked! How many of you could say you've done the same. SOmeone has to have balls around here. NO pun intended!
January 24, 2013 12:09 PM
I agree that if there was a family locker room around he should have gone there however my guess is that he did what he had to do.

What about the men who have to bring their daughters into the mens room to pee? Last time I checked the urinals weren't locked in a stall so how is seeing a naked man in a locker room any different then seeing a man peeing at a urinal?
January 24, 2013 12:21 PM
QUOTE:

I agree that if there was a family locker room around he should have gone there however my guess is that he did what he had to do.

What about the men who have to bring their daughters into the mens room to pee? Last time I checked the urinals weren't locked in a stall so how is seeing a naked man in a locker room any different then seeing a man peeing at a urinal?


ONE man can tell his daughter to turn around while he pees. He can't however tell a locker room full of men to cover up, or I guess if he carried her and had her cover her eyes when he went in but then it's all just getting silly now, isnt' it? Isn't the answer....JUST STAY HOME THAT particular day? Isn't it okay that our kid gets in they way of our workout sometimes? Isn't it ever okay anymore for a kids needs to come before their parents? I mean really have we all become SOOO selfish and narcisisstic we can't put our kids needs first?
Edited by MyChocolateDiet On January 24, 2013 12:22 PM
January 24, 2013 12:39 PM
QUOTE:

clueless. It's like women who their sons into the female locker room. I will never forget a few years ago I was going to swim at the pool and a woman brought her son (who had to be at least 7) into the locker room. I freaked out and she just didn't get that it was completely inappropriate.


This.

I can't stand it when women bring their sons into a women's locker room or changing room. They run around peeping through/under doors and generally being little bratty pervs. And the moms are oblivious. It's not about body acceptance, they are teaching their boys that it's okay to intrude on a stranger's privacy. It's just plain rude. If you can't find a babysitter, stay home. If you want to expose your child to the naked human body, join a nudist club. Don't expect perfect strangers to be comfortable being your sons' naked-adult-of-the-opposite-sex learning experience.
January 24, 2013 12:45 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

clueless. It's like women who their sons into the female locker room. I will never forget a few years ago I was going to swim at the pool and a woman brought her son (who had to be at least 7) into the locker room. I freaked out and she just didn't get that it was completely inappropriate.


This.

I can't stand it when women bring their sons into a women's locker room or changing room. They run around peeping through/under doors and generally being little bratty pervs. And the moms are oblivious. It's not about body acceptance, they are teaching their boys that it's okay to intrude on a stranger's privacy. It's just plain rude. If you can't find a babysitter, stay home. If you want to expose your child to the naked human body, join a nudist club. Don't expect perfect strangers to be comfortable being your sons' naked-adult-of-the-opposite-sex learning experience.


Those are examples of poor parenting though. A woman can easily bring her well-behaved child into the locker room and not allow him to peep under doors. Obviously that's inappropriate - but there's a huge difference between bringing your child into a locker room and letting your child act crazy in a locker room.
  1479766
January 24, 2013 12:51 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

I am four times her age and I think I MYSELF would be traumatized if I accidentally went into the men's locker room.

If you are only 4 times a 4 year olds age you shouldn't even be on this site, but I think at 16 I wouldn't like being in the mens locker room either.
Its interesting how a lot of people who have never been in the situation are going on about how the child will definitely be traumatised for the rest of her life, it will affect her adult relationships etc, but all of the people who were actually taken into mens locker rooms as kids and are speaking up to say it was fine are totally ignored. i I could be wrong as its a long thread, but I think every single person here who has said about being in a mens locker room as a child has said they were not traumatised, don't think there was one person who said they were traumatised. I could be wrong as i'm not rereading the whole thread, but at least the vast majority are fine. Thats the "it will definitely traumatise her" theory blown out of the water really.


Thank you for saying this.

The people who are raging about how the little girl is going to be traumatized are ignoring multiple posts from women who were once 4 year olds in similar situations who were not traumatized in the least (me for example.)

On that note and in response to what others have said in this thread, seeing men standing at urinals at 4 did not terrify me from penises and make me never want to date. It did not warp my sexuality. It did not make me scared of men nor did it make me want men any more than anyone else. It did not put me in a position to be abused. It did not have any of these terrible effects people are postulating.
  1479766
January 24, 2013 1:15 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

clueless. It's like women who their sons into the female locker room. I will never forget a few years ago I was going to swim at the pool and a woman brought her son (who had to be at least 7) into the locker room. I freaked out and she just didn't get that it was completely inappropriate.


This.

I can't stand it when women bring their sons into a women's locker room or changing room. They run around peeping through/under doors and generally being little bratty pervs. And the moms are oblivious. It's not about body acceptance, they are teaching their boys that it's okay to intrude on a stranger's privacy. It's just plain rude. If you can't find a babysitter, stay home. If you want to expose your child to the naked human body, join a nudist club. Don't expect perfect strangers to be comfortable being your sons' naked-adult-of-the-opposite-sex learning experience.


Those are examples of poor parenting though. A woman can easily bring her well-behaved child into the locker room and not allow him to peep under doors. Obviously that's inappropriate - but there's a huge difference between bringing your child into a locker room and letting your child act crazy in a locker room.


But it's inconsiderate to expect strangers to be comfortable with a child of the opposite sex in the locker room, or wherever nudity or undress is the norm. It shows a disregard for other people's personal space, sense of decorum, modesty, etc., and IMO that influences the child negatively in that they are raised to be inconsiderate of other people's very reasonable expectations of privacy and/or decency. It's not just about bad parenting. It's about knowing when you are placing a burden on strangers who have every right to reasonably expect a certain level of modesty. It's not okay to say "don't be a prude" or "we should teach kids to be comfortable with the naked body," because it's not okay to expect strangers to share your viewpoint on a very personal matter.

In my experience, more times than not, the parent is oblivious to what the child is up to. They just tune their kids out. IMO, keep the kids at home with a sitter, who is (hopefully) keeping a better eye on them.
January 24, 2013 1:17 PM
Completely clueless. Like you said, there are naked men walking around in there. I'm sure it made you feel very uncomfortable.

I used to carry my son into the female bathrooms, but keep the stalls in mind. He never saw anyone & he definitely never looked under the stalls either. That always irritates me.
  20883166
January 24, 2013 1:23 PM
QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:

clueless. It's like women who their sons into the female locker room. I will never forget a few years ago I was going to swim at the pool and a woman brought her son (who had to be at least 7) into the locker room. I freaked out and she just didn't get that it was completely inappropriate.


This.

I can't stand it when women bring their sons into a women's locker room or changing room. They run around peeping through/under doors and generally being little bratty pervs. And the moms are oblivious. It's not about body acceptance, they are teaching their boys that it's okay to intrude on a stranger's privacy. It's just plain rude. If you can't find a babysitter, stay home. If you want to expose your child to the naked human body, join a nudist club. Don't expect perfect strangers to be comfortable being your sons' naked-adult-of-the-opposite-sex learning experience.


Those are examples of poor parenting though. A woman can easily bring her well-behaved child into the locker room and not allow him to peep under doors. Obviously that's inappropriate - but there's a huge difference between bringing your child into a locker room and letting your child act crazy in a locker room.


But it's inconsiderate to expect strangers to be comfortable with a child of the opposite sex in the locker room, or wherever nudity or undress is the norm. It shows a disregard for other people's personal space, sense of decorum, modesty, etc.,


And that's a totally valid point. If OP was uncomfortable with the little girl being in the locker room he should have approached the management of the gym to express his discomfort instead of yelling at a man with his little kid in the locker room.

Everyone has a right to feel comfortable in the locker room of the gym they choose to go to. However, that's really the only issue I see here. People who are saying the child is going to be traumatized really have no clue.
  1479766
January 24, 2013 1:58 PM
While I would not have wanted my 4 year old daughter brought into a men's locker room, I respect that others might have different opinions on the topic and don't necessarily think that seeing men naked in a locker room is going to traumatize her. However, my issue is that his actions are obviously making the men in the locker room uncomfortable and that alone is a valid reason for him to use the family locker rooms with her. Personally, as a woman, while I don't really have a problem changing in front of my own young son, I would feel uncomfortable changing in front of someone else's son.

While I disagree with confronting the man in front of his child, I would definitely have said something to management.
  25160110

Message Boards » Fitness and Exercise

Posts by members, moderators and admins should not be considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.